cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Diane Cluff, Maxine Shirts via mail.
"I received the following in an e-mail from Ben on Wednesday morning:
Pressure is a constant factor in our lives. If we didn't have air pressure, we wouldn't get the oxygen we need to live. If we don't have the right blood pressure, we end up having a stroke or dying. If there is not enough gas pressure we can not start our stove. And if there is a stoppage in our toilet, the pressure backs up and we have a flooded floor. In families, pressure is a method, allbeit not a very good method, of encouraging choice. Pressure is not the end goal. Often those who use pressure are using the only tools they were taught as children, and yet no matter how pure intentions, the use of poor methods creates unnecessary pain and suffering. Again, I admit I misused pressure in our family. I hope someday you will all recognize these misguided efforts were out of fear for end results of a dangerous direction. I agree that there are times when pressure can be let up, and there can be compromise, and I look forward to when you each acknowledge there are times when there should be no compromise and pressure is appropriate.
Ben, there is a big difference between professional colleagues and family members. Especially if you believe in the depth of your heart family members are sealed to you for time and eternity and the only way they will not be with you beyond the grave is their giving into worldly pressure and making serious unrecoverable mistakes. When one sees their baby drowning in the cesspool of modern sin (which is simply a repeat of the Romans and every other great civilization which Satan has got control of), there is a fear which can cause an irrational response. It can come across like pressure, and especially if someone else the youth loves and respects is caught up in the same whirlpool to personal destruction and is presented with sophisticated excuses for indulgence. As The Moody Blues of my generation said:
As much as I enjoy my professional colleagues, the only ones I anticipate spending eternity with are those who share the power of the Priesthood with me. Guess this is one of the reasons I have always been accused of being a fanatic, and of always trying to convert everyone around me. I have learned you can not pressure anyone to accept the truth. Especially if they are not willing to read their Bible and pray. The characteristics of God, the mission of Christ, the nature of the Godhead, the authority to baptize, the method of baptism, payment for preaching, the place of grace and of works in life, the importance of Apostles and Prophets, etc., etc. There are numerous examples of topics, which if rationally studied, have a single logical conclusion. Most of my friends at work, will never know these truths, as they are not interested. It appears that many of my family, like many of Heavenly Father's family will be in the same boat. And yet as an optimist, I will never give up hope. Especially when I hear words like:
Ben, I was also impressed by your comment about money:
I feel it is appropriate to share my response to you with everyone:
It appears to me that much of the pressure we face in our daily lives is due to people not taking their commitments seriously. Be it the selfish entrepreneur, who is willing to loose different people's investment on project after project, or those who take advantage of others through position or power. There is very little selfless giving, and even less if there is no pressure to donate to the Boy Scouts or the United Way. The one exception I find is through the church, as was demonstrated to me last Sunday. As I mentioned last week (0102.html), we had the afternoon session of Stake Conference. As I was writing the Thoughtlet I was thinking about whether I had put too much or too little pressure on Matt and Rachel to go to the Alamo with us on Saturday, when the phone rang. It was Mike Smith (../9703.html, ../9706.html, ../9724.html, ../9750.html, ../9802.html, ../9831.html, ../9834.html, ../9840.html, ../9844.html, ../9847.html, ../9907.html, ../9933.html, and ../0016.html). He has been called as the Secretary to his High Priest Quorum. He was to be sustained in Stake Conference to be a High Priest, and wanted me to ordain him right after Stake Conference. It was a special meeting, and one in which I was simply the voice and the hands for a power greater than myself. There was no feeling of pressure, and it was a truely wonderful experience.
With the new schedule, we have started having Family Home Evening on Sunday evenings. Matt used a video called `You are not alone' to give a great lesson about how when we feel overwhelmed, there are angels there to help us meet our challenges. There was a wonderful spirit in the room as the video segment ended, and the next segment came up. This segment was titled `Chastity.' As this came up on the TV, the thought came to mind: `Is it OK for a young man or a young woman to lose his or her virginity before getting married? The world says it is, and time and experience shows that those who ignore the pressure of their parent's teachings and give into the pressures of popular culture too often repeat their indiscretions outside of their marriage vows, and thus create havock for themselves and other family members. The beauty in Melanie and Kate's faces on their wedding days this last summer was a reflection of how they felt about themselves, and specifically a reflection of their preparation for their most special day. I expect I will write more about this topic another time, when I'm not feeling internal pressure to preach. As we finished Family Home Evening, there was a call from Paul to tell me he has been called to become a High Priest, and his leader's wanted me to know. As I have performed each of the other ordinations in his life, it will be a pleasure to fly to Utah the weekend of the 28th and to ordain him a High Priest. When I told Andrea, she said to me `The Lord is sending you another blessing.' And so it is. And it is appreciated pressure.
Sara brought her boyfriend, G.J., over to introduce to us and eat dinner after having spent the afternoon at the Menil Museum. He seems very nice, bright, and very attentive to Sara. When he told me his first name was George, I couldn't help but think about the words in Thoughtlet #97.30. However, I didn't mention it, because I have become paranoid about being accused of applying pressure, real or preceived. I was watching a movie version of Les Miserables, and Andrea did a better job than I did of conversation with Sara and G.J. Sara, I'm not sure what response you wanted from me. I'm sorry I was quiet. For those who do not know, Sara leaves this next Saturday for a semester study abroad in France. Sara, I have been praying every night since I learned you were going (../0047), that this trip will be a time of reflection, and a time where you can contemplate the foundation of your eternal life. It is very hard to not put pressure on you in order to encourage you to make what experience and faith show me are optimal decisions. So if you feel I am doing this, just ask me to back off.
Monday Scott Bowman came by about 2:00 and he helped me get the PowerPC so it would run the large Infinite Grid (SM) Excel files. Easy solution, once you know what is wrong. Command `I' on the Excel icon, and change the memory up. Oh well! I lost a couple of days work because I didn't know how to do that. Seems like there is always pressure to learn more. I spent most of the day getting material ready to visit with Jim Allen at Sovereign Oil & Gas (http://www.walden3d.com/dynamic/investment.html, etc.).
Melanie and Jared had been calling all day saying they were coming over. They finally did about 7:00 in the evening, for Family Home Evening. We, as mentioned, had already had family home evening the night before. I was busy getting ready for the meeting on Tuesday, and so I'm sorry I didn't spend much time talking. It was nice to see you playing Clue and other games with Rachel, Matt, and Andrea. I have always felt a lot of pressure to meet work commitments, and thus have always probably had too high a priority for work. Oh well!
The meeting Tuesday morning with Jim started off 10 minutes late. There was a car accident on the Katy Freeway, I parked in the wrong parking lot, and I was trying to print out some other pages just before I left the house. Oh well! I thought the meeting went well. Although he is not interested in the Rio Grande County AMI007, which is what I spent so much time on the previous few days, he invited me back with Heloise Lynn's prospects, as soon as possible, creating a new source of pressure.
By 8:33 on Wednesday morning I had the three revised documents ready to send to Heloise Lynn, Blaine Taylor, and Mike McCardle: (1) AMI & Confidentiality Agreement, (2) Dynamic Professional NetWork Agreement, and (3) Prospect Fee, Production Bonus, and Overriding Royalty Interest Agreement; an AMI and Confidentiality Agreement for Sovereign Oil & Gas; a report to Richard Nehring including a final revision of his contract; and a description of why Susan Helgeson should help Christian Singfield with his upcoming road show on the core and cutting imaging system. I still made it to Chroma Energy for a mornings worth of meetings with Peter Duncan's advisory board. Good meetings, and I really like `Swede' Nelson, who was the President of Chevron overseas for 15 years. Ben's note came in while I was at Chroma Energy, which implies he stole time from work to write the response. Oh well! Time is one of the great creators of pressure. I've done worse, and it is so nice to have feedback. I took a half hour lunch break at Chroma to participate in the RC-SIG teleconference call. I got back to the house about 3:00, and was down at Ken Burton's house at 3:30 for a meeting on the Rio Grande County AMI007. I sure like how he has redone his house. I like Scott Lackey and Jim Jinright more each time I meet them. It was fun to watch them move a Grandfather clock, and negotiate on the phone. They loved the stuff I have put on the web for them. I got back to the house about 5:00, and was immediately on the phone to Richard Nehring and others.
Wednesday evening we had a Venturing planning meeting. We are going to do our High Adventure on the week of the 11th of June 2001. The guys want to do it jointly with Katy 2nd Ward, mostly because Adam Peterson's cousin Austin is in that group. This would be an additional excuse for Rob to join us, which would sure be nice. I thought the planning meeting went pretty good. There were 8 priests there, which is better than impressive. Usually, no matter what kind of pressure I apply, there are only 3 or 4 at Young Men's.
Thursday was busy. I was building Infinite Grid images for Heloise Lynn's three prospects in Colorado, Wyoming, and Utah. We worked on it all day. Blaine and Mike came by and all four of us signed modified versions of the documents mentioned above. I built 10 web pages, helped Heloise organize her presentation, and she drove the two of us down to the meeting at Sovereign Oil & Gas, while I dictated an e-mail message to Christian Singfield via Andrea. Jim was very responsive to Heloise, and yet there are several things needed before he will say yes. To start with, there needs to be existing production information on all of the wells in each of the three adjacent fields. I hope to get Riley helping me collect the needed information. On the way home Heloise told me about her hobby: endurance riding. There is an 18 mile horse ride, with a lunch on at the far end, which goes on this time of year, and it costs $100. per person for saddle, horse, and lunch. Sees like this would be a real fun thing to do some Saturday. What do you think Rachel and Matt, Melanie and Jared, maybe even Roice and Rob? Andrea met Heloise and me at the Best Buy at Westheimer and Highway 6, so Heloise could get home to her family. Cell phones are indespensible to meet the pressure of keeping up with everything.
Friday morning Joe Robert's picked me up before I knew it was time. He had arranged for us to have lunch with Radivoj Drecun of Advanced Data Solutions. Radivoj is interested in investing in Dynamic. Good discussions. I really like his Chief Technology Officer, Bee. Maybe Joe is finally going to get in on one of my `deals.' He asked me to bring in Richard Nehring and Bob Ehrlich to meet, and promised a fast response on committing if he really becomes interested. Seems like there is so much to do, I was just overwhelmed when I got home. However, I worked hard at fixing the Heloise Lynn web pages, started reworking the Residuum Energy Master Agreement, made arrangements for Richard Nehring and Bob Ehrlich to be here the 23-25th of January to meet with Radivoj and to have our first Dynamic Technical meeting. I was glad to take a break from the pressure at 8:00 and go to a movie with Andrea. We went to see `Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.' It reminded me of the black and white Chinese movies they showed every Friday night at the theater in Zhuo Zhou, Hebei Province, China, where Gary Jones and I worked for a long time. Lots of martial arts, fantasy flights across the rooftops, and retaining being true to yourself by committing suicide. Interesting distraction, beautiful cinimatography, and a lousy message.
Saturday morning was Choir Practice and Young Women's basketball at 8:00. Andrea's team won by forfeit, and she came into Choir Practice, even though she hates having Choir Practice on Saturday morning. When we were talking about it, she explained that basketball only lasts a few weeks, but choir lasts forever, and Saturday morning is her time. I had responded that it is nice to be alive and to do things we enjoy, like singing. I hope this is typical of the disagreements we get into in our marriage. Not that I `win' the argument, just that the differences of opinion are non-critical, and there is no pressure to be right.
I worked in the office. Got beat 10 to 6 in a game of one-on-one basketball with Matt, and went to Matt's basketball game. Matt made a fabulous 3-point shot, and they were playing against a team twice their height. Nottingham Country lost 22 to 29. I thought they did great. We put up some curtain rods in the evening, and I worked on the agreements and web pages until I was really tired and could not hold up the pressure of my eyelids, about 11:00 last night.
Today was our first Sunday on the 9:00 church meeting schedule. Matt was excited to be going in the morning, even though he didn't join us during Sacrament meeting. The talks and the classes were exceptionally good. It geared me up to coming home to write the Thoughtlet on one of my least favorite subjects. Brent Peterson shared:
This afternoon Matt and I went Home Teaching. It was my turn to give the lesson. I'm sure my mind was directed by the thoughts about pressure. I quoted from a recent talk to youth by President Hinkley:
When we got home I read an Ensign article by Dallin H. Oaks, and it reinforced my thoughts this week about pressure:
There is a lot more I could write about pressure. Especially since oil fields are typically produced by subterranian pressures, and it is one of the key parameters reservoir engineers work with. However, I've written enough. So for the few of you who read all of these words, I'm sorry I applied too much pressure at times in the past. I hope you will forgive me someday. And it is very rewarding to receive an e-mail from Ben saying `I think pressure and force are a good thing when used correctly.' I hope there were times I did use them correctly, and that as you look at the fruits of various options, you will recognize that methodology which is best for you and your family to reach whatever goal you set for yourselves."