cc: file, Diane Cluff, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Sara and Des Penny, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, and Lloyd and Luana Warner.
"Katy Stake Conference was today. It was the first time since we moved here I have been the only member of our family represented. It is hard for me to accept you are all adults, all can make your own choices, and all get to live with the consequences of those choices. Since none of you made it, I decided to summarize my feelings and notes with the hope that when you are 25 or 35 or 45 or maybe 55 you will have an interest on looking back at what is important to your Dad, and gain some of what I gained from todays meeting.
I was at the Katy Stake Center at 9:00 to practice with the Stake Choir. We practiced a new song for the beginning and one we did at the Christmas program for the closing song. Sister Weber is the Stake Choir Conductor, and she is almost as good as your Mom. Jim Conners played the organ. We had about 8 bases, 7 tenors, 15 altos, and 12 sopranos. Karen Amason was in the choir, and we have been treating each other reasonable (even though I still am still somewhat bitter about her over-involvement in my marriage for too many years). I believe I am learning to forgive and forget. John and I work together almost every day on Walden Visualization Systems and we have very good interaction. The practice was a practice. We finished about 9:40 and everyone left the choir seats to go talk to friends.
This was the first time I have sat on the stand in a Stake Conference. I was in the center on the top row of the choir seats. There was literally a sea of faces in front of me. I could not help but think how nice it would be to have Ken Turner paint a Family Reunion type painting of the audience, emphasizing all of the good feelings and friendship I feel for so many of those who were taking their seats and enjoying each other. In a sense the memories were overwhelming. Next to me on my right was Gary Jones, my companion in China and on innumerable scout campouts. As we got caught up. I learned Roetta was diagnosed with Lukemia earlier in the week. Normal white blood cell count is 10-15,000 per cmm and hers was 250,000. It was amazing to hear what they have done in the last few days to stabalize her, and to get it under control. My Grandpa Hafen died from lukemia when I was 13. I believe I have written about how he was a downwinder (got the cancer because of the nuclear tests in Southern Nevada). Roetta's cancer is treatable, and Gary is very optimistic. On my left was David Williams, father of Melanie's bud Marie, and a great example of making right choices.
On one of the front rows on the right was Leon Potter, a High Councilor who lives in the Westlake Ward. In his youth he was one of my Uncle Glenn's wild friends out of Veyo. We have had fun discussions about Southern Utah. One of his daughters married Steve Richardson, who was my Elder's Quorum President when we first moved into the Maplewood 2nd Ward back in 1982. A little behind him was Don and Kathleen Keller. Don taught Ben and possibly some of the rest of you in Seminary. In back of him was Buddy Mills from the Westlake Ward, who we did several things with prior to the splitting of the Nottingham Country Ward back in the mid-1980's. He is a cameraman for Channel 13 and when Paul got in trouble for tresspassing at Beck Junior High I talked to Buddy (real name Paul) about the option of creating a media flap about making the punishment fit the crime. He talked me out of it. Next to him was the Mom of Roice's old girlfriend Joy Stoddard (Joy recently got married). I have often wondered who has what influence in the direction we each choose to go. Behind them were Ron and Linda Burgerner, their daughter's Tiffiny and Tonja Wade, with her husband John and their baby Drake.
Roice, do you remember all of the years we used to go Home Teach the Wade's together? I vividly remember Melanie's recent crush on now married Tyler.
Mike Smith was setting up the video camera to record Stake Conference. I have been Mike's Home Teacher for all but a couple of months since his baptism; through Edy's accident, baptism, and death. Back in the cultural hall was Brother and Sister Nicols, whose son moved into Melanie's room the night she moved her stuff out. Steve and Robin Holleman were by them. I vividly remember Steve's first and wonderful talk when Josh left for his mission a few weeks ago. Doug and Brenda Bingham from the Katy Ward were sitting on the right side. We gave (or maybe sold) our old upright piano to them. It was the first investment your Mom and I made after we got married. We paid $45 per month, partly to establish credit, when we moved to Dallas.
Back up in the front center was Brent Weber, who has been the main teacher for our High Priest Quorum for some time. Behind him were the Vance's, who we took cookies too as a family when they first moved into the ward. Behind them was Brother Jenson, the retired son of Brother Jensen who died last year. He, more than any other member of my High Priest Quorum, helped me accept the changes in our family. He prayed about it, told me his answer, and there was nothing to do but accept it. Next to him was Elder Kirkham, who was a greenie in our ward when I was a Stake Missionary. Behind him was the member of the Stake Mission Presidency who called me as a Stake Missionary. Behind him was the Dad of one of our long time friends in the ward and his wife. I remember when they married a few years ago how our friend called them and didn't get an answer and was very worried, later discovering `Dad was in the shower with his new wife.' Behind him was Keith Hunter, who I saw on Saturday evening in volunteer fireman gear cleaning up from a house that burned to the ground because a teenager was smoking upstairs. I had walked to the Saturday night leadership meetings because Brother Law had used the car to take Alma to buy some new clothes. Yes, Alma got back from his mission in Italy on Thursday, and he was at the church in his bare feet tonight. Right in the center of the church, both left to right and front to back, was Larry Law. As the meeting was about ready to start Harold Burnham, Bob's Dad, slipped into a seat behind Larry.
Stake Patriarch Hardy and his wife sat at the front in the sacrament seats. Larry and Jan McBride were sitting on the front row on my left. Larry is my big ego booster. As a former Stake President and good guy, he is always talking to me about my projects and expressing his amazement. Behind him was Marion Pickerd and her kids. We Home Taught the Pickerds for many years too. Behind them a little ways was Floyd, my tentmate at Philmont, and Mary Lunt. Then a little further back was Steve, Sue, and Matt Feil. Remember when I served in the Bishopric with Steve? Remember when Matt came over to make movies with the Teachers? Matt is active in the church again, and is now an Elder. Back in the folding chairs was Paul and Karen Sullivan. Paul was on the temple trip where there was the accident and a man was hit and killed by the car Roice was in. Melanie was on that youth temple trip also. Paul is moving to New Orleans for an important new job with Shell, and I hope to work with him on some of his projects. Fred and Cynthia Kneis were near them. Bishop Kneis is so much fun. Harold Black was close to them. He was in the Stake Presidency a few years ago, and at a Special Olympics he gave me a temple recommend interview and we talked for quite a while about my challenges. He called us to work in Columbus Branch as Stake Missionaries, which resulted in delaying the divorce over a year. In back of him a ways were Alan and Patrice Peterson. I Home Teach with Alan now, we served in the Bishopric as counselors together, he is a geophysicist with Apache, and Roice and I, Ben and I, and Paul and I all Home Taught their family. Bill Hagen and his wife, who is or has been Sara's Young Woman's leader, came in about the same time as Russ Harris came through the door. Michelle Schmidt saw the now Albequeque geologist and gave him a big hug. He just got back from his second visit to South Africa, where Margaret is from. Doug Hastings was standing in the very back with his ever present new daughter. And bobbing through the audience was the distinctive head of the artist who could capture this whole scene, 5% of which I have described here. It truly was a sea of faces, and an ocean of memories.
President Pickerd conducted. The opening song was There Is Sunshine in My Soul Today. The tears began as we got to the last verse and sang:
In the opening prayer there was something said about the strength of being together. I felt that strength, even in my loneliness and feelings of failure. Then we sang our first song: Lord, I Would Follow Thee with words by Susan Evans McCloud. The words kept the tears leaking out:
President Pickerd lead the sustaining of General and local church officers. The Katy Stake has 52 missionaries serving and 2 more called, compared to 34 a year ago. We have had 107 baptisms compared to the mid 60's a year before. We have become Fast Offering positive for the first time since the stake was formed. It was a great report. So different from when we moved here in 1984.
President Cosme Salazar was the first speaker. He talked about the expressions, countenances, smiles, and interactions of everyone as they came into the chapel. Then he set the tone for his comments by saying `It is never too late to get started.' He talked about the poverty of his youth in Mexico, about how his family just barely lived with money his mother made in washing clothes. It was really touching how he used his Mother's words about him to teach we should take on every job we do as if it is a portrait of ourselves and we should autograph each job with our perfection. He repeated `It is never to late to get started, and yet the younger we start the better.' If we decide now, we will never have to decide again. Decide to obey the Word of Wisdom. Decide to be honest. Decide to pay our tithing. Decide to do personal scripture study and to say our personal prayers for they are the basis of our testimonies. We need to think of the objectives and not the obstacles. We should not try to find justification for failures. When there are challenges, we only fail when we quit trying. No failure is ever final. There are tremendous benefits to being consistant. Think of the blessings of a good Home Teacher who never misses a month. It was a very touching talk.
President Pickerd was the second speaker. He pointed out how the gospel can change lives. It makes good men better and better men great. Our knowledge of Our Savior is the best gift we will ever get. To support this knowledge is The Gift of The Holy Ghost. Jacob, the younger brother of Nephi had a real challenge with his family, `having suffered much afflictions and sorrow, because of the rudeness of thy brethern' (II Nephi 2:1). And yet he `beheld in (his) youth his glory ... for the spirit is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.' (II Nephi 2:4) Another youth similarily blessed was Mormon, as shown where he said `... being fifteen years of age and being somewhat of a sober mind, therefore I was visited of the Lord, and tasted and knew of the goodness of Jesus. (Mormon 1:15) Joseph Smith also had a perfect testimony. Then Mike talked about youth in the Katy Stake and their testimonies: `I felt The Holy Ghost during the Liahona program; when I did baptisms for the dead at the Dallas Temple; when I taught my friend with the misssionaries; when I told my friends I would not go to an "R" rated movie with them; when I told my friends I was not going to go to a party because there would be alcohol served there; when I read the scriptures;' and `I felt The Holy Ghost when I said my prayers.' He pointed out The Holy Ghost will not be with us if we are full of pride. Mike also encouraged us to pay our tithing, fast offerings, to live within our means, and to avoid debt. It was a great talk, as always.
Then we stood and sang the intermediate hymn: Called to Serve:
I thought of Paul and Clayton and Alma and Matt and ... . Then the Mission President's wife, Sister Sorenson, stood and talked. She said `That song was my talk!' She then proceded to hold up a wire, a wire which could be a violin string, if it was pulled and wrenched and stretched to become a tool.
Similarly we need to allow ourselves to be instruments in the Lord's hand and to receive his pure joy.
President Sorenson taught us it is the spirit which counts. There are many names and many missions and many roles for The Holy Ghost. Basically The Holy Ghost is with us when we: (1) pray; (2) study and learn the gospel; (3) live rightously and repent; and (4) give service. If we do this we will be successful regardless of what the people of the world say. As Elijah taught The Holy Ghost is not in the wind, not in the earthquake, and not in the fire, but in the still small voice. This is recorded when the scriptures report `And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, they sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.' (Enos 5) For `... he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth ....' (D&C 50:17) `Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind, and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation; behold, this is the spirit by which Moses brought the children of Israel through the Red Sea on dry ground.' (D&C 8:2-3) `Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.' (D&C 88:68) This burning is a comfort and a feeling of serenity and not the burning of combustion. We pray and want answers right now. We can not force the spirit.
President Jones was the concluding speaker. His talk was based around summarizing the other talks and The First Presidency's Proclamation on the Family. Because this Thoughtlet is already an epistle I will not quote his comments here, other than to repeat his words `We all set examples every day. The Sabbath is becoming a play day of people. We will be challenged in our lives if we do not keep the Sabbath Day sacred. Sabbaths are a sign between God and man. Review this subject as we go into the new year. Plan for the rule, not the exception. Do not make any commercial transactions on the Sabbath. ... The perscriptions is clear and simple: love. There is a wonderful future in an uncertian world if we simply live the gospel.' And then the Stake Choir sang 'Praise to the Lord,' written by Joachm Neander in 1680:
As I walked out Russ Harris gave me a bear hug and reminded me of our scout trips. Mary Lunt told me `I figured it out: Roice, you need to smile more, then you would be a happier person.' It was good to see Alma and talk to other friends. The spirit bore witness to me again the truthfullness of the restoration. As an answer to the request in the opening prayer, there was great strength in being together for Stake Conference."