13 Apr 2003 #0315.html

Pauline H. Nelson

. . .

Dear Paul and Kate, Melanie and Jared, Bridget and Justin, Sara, Ben and Sarah, Heather, Audrey, Rachel, Matt via hardcopy, and Brian,

cc: file, Andrea, Tony Hafen, Sara and Des Penny, & Maxine Shirts

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"I have gotten so far behind on Thoughtlets since the death of my mother, Pauline H. Nelson, I, yet again, considered giving up on this effort. However, I continue to believe there will be good come from continuing to write about my thoughts and times. One of the blessings accompanying Mom's death is I no longer need to write the Thoughtlets keeping in mind how not to disappoint nor to make her too upset. It is sad to have yet another name taken off of the address list as to who gets a copy of these thoughtlets.

However, my nephew Brian came up to me at the funeral and said `Uncle Roice, here's my e-mail address, you can send me a copy of your Thoughtlets, if you want to.' Thanks for the interest Brian. Hopefully I will say some things which interest you, get your mind thinking in a different way, and won't offend you too badly with my frank comments. And when I do offend you, hopefully you won't take it personally, will see the love behind my words, and you will strive to learn from another perspective. As it says at the bottom of each of these "little notes" (too often epistles), if you want to review past Thoughtlets go to www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets. For your reference, at some point in the future, it is my intention to get a search engine tied into these pages, and to index them spatially, temporally, and by activity, so any of you looking for an analog about how to take on some specific challenge in your life, can have the context to find what I wrote relative to this topic. Who knows, these words might even prove useful when you write your own personal history.However, my nephew Brian came up to me at the funeral and said `Uncle Roice, here's my e-mail address, you can send me a copy of your Thoughtlets, if you want to.' Thanks for the interest Brian. Hopefully I will say some things which interest you, get your mind thinking in a different way, and won't offend you too badly with my frank comments. And when I do offend you, hopefully you won't take it personally, will see the love behind my words, and you will strive to learn from another perspective. As it says at the bottom of each of these "little notes" (too often epistles), if you want to review past Thoughtlets go to www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets. For your reference, at some point in the future, it is my intention to get a search engine tied into these pages, and to index them spatially, temporally, and by activity, so any of you looking for an analog about how to take on some specific challenge in your life, can have the context to find what I wrote relative to this topic. Who knows, these words might even prove useful when you write your own personal history.

I have outlined the Thoughtlets to catch up on. In a way it is appropriate to start with the title of the last completed Thoughtlet, and then give you a preview of what is coming up as I catch up:

06Apr03 .../2003/0314.html Blame and Shame
13Apr03 .../2003/0315.html Pauline H. Nelson
20Apr03 .../2003/0316.html Heavenly Harp Music
27Apr03 .../2003/0317.html Paul's Graduation from BYU
04May03 .../2003/0318.html Audrey's Graduation from SUU
11May03 .../2003/0319.html Black-Eye: Holographic Seismology
18May03 .../2003/0320.html Sara's Graduation from UT Austin

As I consider just the titles, it has been a very impressive 7 weeks. Not many folks open up about mistakes, bury their Mom, `parachute' into a distant town following an all-night flight in order to listen to take-you-out-of-this-world harp music, see three of their kids graduate from three separate universities, and help write the fourth novel in a popular writer's series, a novel which, based on the success of the previous 3 novels, is already being considered to become a Hollywood movie. Anyway, these words preview what is coming up in the next few Thoughtlets.

I was kind of drained after writing about Blame and Shame (0314.html). It is never easy to admit our mistakes, our pride, our brashness, our big egos, and our unwillingness to follow the Saviors teachings and to `be as teachable as a little child.' So when I woke up Monday morning, the 7th of April, I was not expecting to see a rather lengthy article about the passing of a professional acquaintance. His name was General Hugh Hardy. Somehow the newspaper article did not make it down to today in my piles. However, the following was in the mail about a week later:

`Pioneer Oil Producers Society, Houston, Texas, 14 April 2003 For all members and officers: Hugh W. Hardy, president of POPs since September of last year and retired from Exxon, died April 3 at his home in Houston. He was 78. a graduate of the University of Oklahoma and a native of that state. Hugh served in the United States Marine Corps for 40 years, retiring in 1982 as a Major General. He served a short time as commander of the Marine base at Camp Pendleton in California. A trained geophysicist with a degree in geological engineering, he worked for Humble Oil & Refining in Wichita Falls and Houston until retiring in 1981. He then became vice president of marketing and technical services for GeoQuest and later was named president of that firm's services division. In 1987, he became president of Interpretation Consultants. Four daughters and their family survive him. Funeral services were conducted in Bellaire and burial was in Houston National Cemetery. This organization's by-laws do not provide for replacing a president while in office. ... Respectively yours, Bob Scott Vice President at Large'


I had promised Anne Simpson (0313.html) to visit her and talk about her memoirs on Monday afternoon. Since it was in the vicinity of the funeral home, I decided it would be good to go to the viewing to pay my respects after visiting with Anne. I had served on GSH committees with General Hardy's daughter, Kathryn Hardy. I was very touched by the handout his four daughters had prepared for those who visited. It says:

`When asked what charities our Dad, Major General Hugh W. Hardy USMCR (Retired), would want supported, we thought of a few immediately. Then we got the idea to look at his most recent 1040 and found he supported 87 causes last year! Those he most generously supported are the Boy Scouts of America, SEG and SEG Trustees, and Mount Calvary Baptist Church. All of you knew Dad from a specific interest that he supported with his time and energy. If you wish to make a donation, we invite you to look over this list and select the cause for which you knew General Hardy. You most likely will have the address for donations in having similar interests, but if you need an address, please sent an e-mail to one of us and we will find it for you. In memory of Dad, Karyn Parker, Kathryn Hardy, Karolyn Ratajczak, and Kay Lockard. Major General H. W. Hardy 2002 Charities: - Alpha Phi Omega Association - American Association of Petroleum Geologists - American Conservative Union - American Diabetes Association - American Heart Association - American Legion - American Lung Association and Easter Seals - American Red Cross - American Veterans Association - Arabia Shrine Circus Fund - Armed Forces YMCA, Camp Pendleton, CA - Arthritis Foundation - Association of Baptists for Scouting - Battleship Texas Foundation - Bayou Rifles, Inc. - Brays Bayou ExxonMobil Retiree Club - Cal Farley's Boys Ranch - Christian Outreach Ministries - Coastal Bend Geophysical Society - 1st Marine Division Foundation - Flying Leatherneck Foundation - Fort Bend Partnership for Youth - Geophysical Society of Houston - Help Hospitalized Veterans - Hospice of Texas Medical Center - Houston Christian Broadcasting, Inc. (KHCB) - Houston Geological Society Foundation - Houston Geological Society - Houston Military Affairs Committee - Houston Area Retired Officers Association - Leukemia Society - March of Dimes Marine Corps Heritage Foundation - Marine Corps Association - Marine Corps Aviation Association - Marine Corps Coordinating Council of Houston - Marine Corps Reserve Officers Association - Marine Military Academy - Memorial Herman Children's Hospital - Mount Calvary Baptist Church - National Parks Conservation Association - Multiple Scierosis Association - National Public Radio, Inc. (KUHF) - National Taxpayers Union - National Rifle Association - Navy League of the United States - Naval Order of the United States - NROTC, University of Oklahoma - Offshore Energy Center - Oklahoma Historical Society - Oklahoma University Foundation - O. U. Club of Houston - Open Door Mission - Paralyzed Veterans of America - President George H. W. Bush Library - Purple Heart Agency - Reserve Officers Association - Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation - Salvation Army - Sam Houston Area Council, Boy Scouts of America - Smithsonian Association - Society of Exploration Geophysicists - SEG Trustee Associates - 2nd Marine Division Association - St. Jude's Children's Hospital - Star of Hope Mission - Susan Komen Breast Cancer Fund - Texas Navy Association - Toys for Tots - Traditional Values Coalition - USO - USS San Jacinto (CG-56) Commissioning Committee - U.S. Naval Aviation Museum Foundation - U.S. Naval Institute Foundation - U.S. Veterans - United States Navy Memorial Foundation - United Way of the Texas Gulf Coast - University of Oklahoma Association - Veterans Museum in Texas - Women Marine Association - World War II Monument'


Wulf Massell was at the viewing and we talked at some length. Fred Hilterman was also there, and he seemed quite touched by the event. I wrote more about my feelings in the Easter talk I was asked to give at The Nottingham Country Ward (0316.html). I left about 6:30 and just made it back to Katy in time to go to Matt's Pre-UIL Choral Concert. Matt is in the Men's Choir and they sang `I Wish I was Single Again,' `Skye Boat Song,' and `Vive L'Amour.' They really did a good job. However, the fact I was still thinking about General Hardy's viewing was shown on my Swallows Sheet, where I drank milk & honey before going to bed.

Tuesday morning I had a meeting with Bob Sneider. It has been many years since Bob `fired me,' with a cold letter just after we returned from our church history tour, which was about the summer of 1995. Sometimes I wonder why I keep going back to folks who have hurt me so much. I do respect Bob professionally, and I guess I'm attempting to get him to accept me. It is a theme in my life, and relates to my relationship with my Mother. As I was sitting in his lobby, the cell phone rang. It was Andrea telling me Sara had just called, and Mom had died earlier that morning while eating breakfast. I turned off the phone and apologized to Sneider for the intrusion, explaining it was news that Mom had died. He expressed concern, and then proceeded to tell me why the things I had sent him about Dynamic Resources will never fly with an investor. His son broke up the meeting, and he apologized for not being able to go to lunch with me because of another meeting. His insights were interesting, and I left thinking how it is not possible to ever please some people.

As I walked out of his office, Randy Valk, one of the first employees at Landmark Graphics came off the elevator. He is working for Object Reservoir, John Mouton's reservoir simulation company. As we were talking, Sneider came out and said, `I promised you a copy of this report.

It is a report titled `Geoscience Data and Collections, National Resources in Peril.' I took it with me the next morning when I went to Utah, and it has become a discussion theme over the last seven weeks. As I read it on the airplane to Las Vegas, the idea was planted in my mind that SUU and Cedar City would be a logical place for setting up the Rocky Mountain Federally funded $35-50 million geoscience repositories. Sneider has been on a committee, and was the key author of this report, which was requested by Vice-President Dick Cheney, and which is the keystone of the Bush Energy Plan, which has yet to go to Congress for funding. When I stopped to see Ray Gardner on Thursday, he said it would be a good idea to take it up with SUU. I talked to Uncle Des about it, and as the retiring Dean of The College of Science and Engineering he was quite favorable to the idea. He attempted to set up a meeting with the Provost, who was busy, and we ended up meeting with President Steven D. Bennion on Friday afternoon. Andrea knew him, because he had attempted to hire her from David Grant to be his personal assistant when he first moved to Cedar City, and so she went with us for the introductions, and then took off. And I get ahead of myself.

Tuesday after leaving Sneider's office I went to the AGL (Allied Geophysical Laboratories) annual meeting (../9745.html, ../9816.html, ../9932.html, ../9945.html, ../9950.html, ../0146.html, and ../0149.html) at the University of Houston. It was the first time I had been to one of these meetings since the fall of 1983, and it was like stepping into a time-warp. Same discussions, some of the same oil company sponsors, and certainly the same issues. As I listened to the presentations, my mind would wander to Pauline H. Nelson, and a feeling of relief she is no longer tied down by her body. Gravity is such a blessing, and yet it can be so stifling. I could imagine Mom exploring time and space, seeking out the Crightons, Zona, Grandpa and Grandma Hafen, and others who have traveled to spiritual worlds prior to her visit. And the graduate students at the University of Houston talked about about a different view of time and space: seismic section travel-time, processing sequences, and locations. There were a few tears.

I thought about how nice it was Melanie spent 25 minutes on the phone with Mom on Sunday afternoon (0314.html), and about my last conversation with her Sunday evening. She said she was having spasms because she had fallen out of bed. She also asked how much of the farm she still owned? I told her the same as always. She said she had this nightmare that there was a city built on the farm. I said, `Well there hasn't been any city built on the farm. Do you want one built there?' She said, `No, I just want the value to be maximized.' It was interesting to me, because Darrel Krueger closed on buying the house from Uncle Des and Aunt Sara earlier in the week, and it was like Mom already knew this had happened. I called Aunt Sara later that Sunday evening, and she was truly upset about how Mom was doing and about not being able to tell Mom about selling the house. Hopefully none of the 10 of you will have to face the kind of trials with Andrea or myself which Aunt Sara has had relative to taking care of Mom after her stroke.

There were a bunch of phone calls Tuesday. Melanie was committed to a show in Austin, and so she was not able to come. I really appreciate that each of the rest of you and Roice and Rob were able to make the effort and to attend the funeral. I know it wasn't easy. Ben, with his job interview in California, Sara with her harp concert, Rob with his paper due, etc. Andrea was able to make the plane reservations for me for Wednesday morning, and also for her and Matt for Friday morning. Rob, Matt, and Andrea rode to Austin Thursday evening and stayed with Sara. Then Rob came with Roice and Sara Friday evening, staying in Vegas, and picking up Ben Saturday morning. Logistics of moving this many of us are complicated.

There were no issues in flying to Las Vegas, renting a car and heading out to Cedar City. There was an interesting phone call, which I described in my Easter Talk (0316.html), and so I won't repeat it here. I stopped in St. George and ate a blueberry malt at Larson's on the way to Cedar City. Aunt Sara had everything under control. My responsibilities were to get someone to conduct (Conrad Hatch, Mom's former boss), someone to speak (Harold Hiskey and Gen Gardner), to go with Sara to the funeral home and review everything, and to call insurance, social security, Medicaid, and retirement folks to get her taken off of their mailing lists. Sara and I went through a lot of boxes, sorting things. There were some very interesting things, including letters from the six Nelson children to Grandma Nelson sent maybe 15 years ago. One day at noon we went to the lawn by the SUU library and listened to Brian and Chelsea perform for the crowds of SUU students (crowds were a little bit thin, as far as crowds go). They are both very good and very talented. Sara, Des, Rachel, and Heather were all there to show support for Brian. I'm sure Grandma Nelson was there cheering Brian on also.

If I were to die now, I'm afraid my stuff would not be so simple to clean up as Mom's was. Although I guess it would be pretty easy to just toss all of the boxes in the garage. My cousin, Mark Nelson, went with me on Thursday to clean out the rest of the material in the Rest Home in La Verkin. He had a neighbor whom we gave the large moving chair to, and he took the oxygen to give to someone else. I went out and visited my Aunt Mary Mae Nelson, who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and only given a few months to live. There was a very interesting phone call from Tom Frantis at Exxon-Mobil, introducing me to Tom Myers at Sunreyes, a new virtual reality company. I also talked to Phillip Levine at T-Surf about being represented by Geo in China. I was a few days too late for Geo. Oh well!

Aunt Sara was overwhelmed. I'm sure it partly had to do with using some cream to burn off skin cancers, and feeling very self-conscious about how she looked. However, all of the activities did go very nicely, and there was no serious problems I noticed. I drove to Las Vegas on Friday to pick up Andrea and Matt. We stopped and ate lunch at Larson's with her friend Carole (I had another blueberry malt). Andrea, Matt, and I were back in plenty of time to go to the University and meet with President Bennion about the Geoscience Repository. I met Andrea back at Grandma Shirts' to get ready for the viewing on Friday evening.

Pauline H. Nelson looked wonderful. She hasn't looked so nice in many, many years. Working in a funeral home is definitely part artistic. It was nice to see old friends and relatives. There were a lot of folks who came to pay their respects. Aunt Sara sent me the following:

`Dear Roice, Thanks again for all your help. It was good to see so much family and friends even if it was a sad time. I'm still really tired. I don't know how you keep juggling so much all at once. Here's the guestbook names: - Roice and Andrea - Art and Vicki Challis - Ruth Challis - Audrey Nelson - Bridget and Justin Lee - Matt Nielson - Elaine Hatch - Conrad and Elva Hatch - Mary Jane Seamon - Mary A. Seamon - John and Patty Walser - Thora R. Porter - Diana Graff - Carmen and Curtis Jones - Mary MacDonald - Naida Gardner - Stan and Barbara Shakespeare - Kim and Louise Jones - Mark and LaRee Stephenson - Bud and Mary Fullmer - Willad and Trudy Jones - Ivan and Louise Matheson - Douglas G. Bonzo - Dane and Ruth Leavitt - Mark and Teri Kenney - Rebecca and Emily Cloward - Robert and Kathleen Cloward - Harold and Diane Shirley - Gary and Marva Middleton - Olga Beck - Harold and Mona Hiskey - Brooke and Mac MacNaughton - Laura L. Bowler - Dan Watson - Dick and Elaine Nelson - Gary and Kristeen Bybee - Leon and Megan Nelson - Arlene Braithwaite - Laura A. Cotts - Gene and Inez Urie - Lois L. Bulloch - Maxine Shirts - Antone and Fern Hunter - Willis and Shirley Gurr - Merlin and June Bishop - Hal and Joan Campbell - Jennifer Larson - Eddie Larson - Kent and Cherie Myers - Steve and Marj Bennion - Alan and LuWenn Jones - Doug and Chris Grimshaw - Blaine and Kirsten Hofeling - Richard Tebbs - Fern and Carolyn Leigh - Clair and Suzanne Morris - Jennifer Morris - Garth and Marilyn Jones - Doug and Jill McArthur - Rick Hafen - Brenda Jorgenson - Lrunden A. Houtz? - Dutch and Alto Hafen Patterson - George Halterman - Lynn and Ann Nelson - Hazel Nelson - Conrad and Rayma Clark - Tony and Beulah Hafen - Cristeen and Chelsea Kunz - Win and Vonna Seegmiller - Thora Lawrence - Alice Hickman - Paul and Kate Nelson - Olive Esplin - Flora McMullin - Kyler Hafen - Glenn and Linda Hafen - Karlie Hafen - Josh Hafen - Jeff and Julianne Hafen - Thane and April Hafen - Mrytle Bauer - Phyllis D. Wood - Suzanne Stewart - Russell Shirts - Heather Nielson - Veda Matheson - Janet Seegmiller - Ted and Vana Nelson - Barbara and Morris Brooks - Hilda Grimshaw - Jill Hafen Peterson - Arlo and Ramona Hafen - Melba Moss - McKay and Lorraine Nelson - Darrell Krueger - Roice N. Krueger - Eric T. Krueger - Maggie Stucki - Mary Lynn Tousa (Maggie's daughter that knew you in Dallas) - Annette and Mike Damavandi - Gary and Vera Giles - Vera Hatch - Marie Nielson - Robert E. Ogie - Hazel and Pug Urie - John and Dianna Hafen - Ella Van Gronigen - Ada Carpenter - Paul and Sharon Nelson - Genevieve Gardner - Lori Rowley - Carl and Cathy Nelson - Ray and Susan Gardner - Therol McArthur - Roland and Julie Williams - Kair Jean? - Sara Nelson - Roice Nelson III - Lea Morris - Alice Forsha - Gary and Caroline Howes - Rachel Nielson - Brian Penny - Doris Williamson - Kathy and Carl Nelson - Charles T. Williams - (There's a couple more that I can't decipher) Flowers at the Mortuary: - Gardner family - Leavitt family - Gloria and Pat Fenton - Glenn and Linda Hafen - Tony and Beulah Hafen - Darrell and Nancy Krueger - Tony's children - John and Dianna Hafen - Kim and Becky Hafen - Mary Mae Nelson and family - Suzuki Families - Orchestra of Southern Utah - President Steven Bennion and SUU Administration - Jon and Linda Savage Other flowers and plants at home: - Arlene and Elaine Braithwaite - Brooke Mecham - Judy Larsen - Suzuki Teachers and String Quartet - Darrell and Nancy Krueger - Physical Science Dept. Donations for SUU Library: - Arlo Hafen - Kent Myers - Laura Cotts - Diana Graff said several have come directly to library. Food - I shouldn't whine about being tired. I haven't cooked since last Monday night and the food's been great. - Suzuki teachers and Sara's string quartet - Teri Kenney - Kathy Cloward - Jacque Marchant - Sally Zimmerman - Susan Gardner - Trudy Jones - The Nelson family prepared the family meal for 60. It was wonderful. - Clara Jean and Seth Bills sent a check to help out. I'm using it to help with the extra on the funeral. Some of the people who called who were out of town for the services: - Mark Nelson - Terry Alger - Brent Hunter (in the middle of lambing) - Mary Leigh - Susan Durfee - Clara Jean and Seth Bills Just for general information. One of the best things we did was pre-pay the funeral before our last trip to Ireland. The principal gains interest that is not taxed so it was a better investment than I could have made at the bank or with CDs. This does assume that you're not moving. Mother wanted to help the SUU library so there's a life insurance policy payable to the library. She also wanted to help the Shakespearean Festival so when I get her tax refund that's where it will go. Thanks again to all who came and called. The support team is awesome. Love, Sara'

I could write for hours about those who visited, and things which were said and feelings which came up. This is already an epistle, and there are four other Thoughtlets I was hoping to get written tonight (obviously I didn't even finish this one last week). I won't, since I leave for the AAPG in Salt Lake at 6:50 AM tomorrow morning. I will mention one man, whose name I did not catch, and who visited on Saturday morning.

He had dated Mom before going in the Navy. She wrote to him, and evidently got tired of waiting for him to come back home. He lives out to Newcastle. He made an interesting comment about how `there are so many allergies in today's society because we are just too clean, and we don't let our bodies become used to the allergens.' I don't know if he knew Sara and my history with allergies or not. The thing that struck me was how much he looked like and talked like Dad. It will be really interesting, once we are all on the other side of the veil, outside of the limits of time and space, where we can talk through and understand all of the `little' decisions we made in our life, come to an understanding of what was the `real' basis of those decisions, and possibly even go back and watch them over and over from different points of view. Pauline H. Nelson. An extremely gifted and talented human being, who was extremely unhappy, for reasons only she really knows. And sometimes I don't think she really knew. Hopefully she will be able to find peace now that she doesn't have to worry about gravity.

Saturday morning I was at David Grant's place at 7:00 to talk to him, in his role as a member of the Utah Board of Regents, about placing a Geoscience Repository at SUU. He is all for it, and assured me he will do anything reasonable to help pull this together.

The funeral service itself was very nice. I have three CD copies (I gave one to Melanie and Jared at Sara's graduation (0320.html)), and expect one will get put on-line at some point in the future. I will not try to make comments on the nice talks that were given. The one quote I wrote on my swallows counting sheet, and which fits Pauline H. Nelson, was:

`Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail.' Emerson


The program read:

`IN LOVING MEMORY OF PAULINE HAFEN NELSON November 21, 1929 April 8, 2003 St. George, Utah LaVerkin, Utah PARENTS Paul Adolph & Helen Forsha Hafen MARRIED Howard Roice Nelson October 9, 1947 ~ St. George, Utah CHILDREN Howard Roice Nelson Jr. & Sara Penny SERVICES Saturday April 12, 2003 2:00 P.M. Southern Utah Mortuary Cedar City, Utah PALLBEARERS H. Roice Nelson III Paul F. Nelson Benjamin B. Nelson Robert L. Nelson Brian Penny Matthew Nielson Jeff Hafen Thane Hafen FLOWERS & COMPASSIONATE SERVICE Nelson Family FUNERAL SERVICES Family Prayer . . . . . . . . H. Roice Nelson, Jr. * * * Prelude & Postlude . . . . . Andrea Shirts Nelson Officiating . . . . . . . . . . . . . Conrad Hatch Invocation . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kate Nelson Eulogy . . . . . . . . . . . H. Roice Nelson, Jr. Speaker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sara Penny Musical . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "O Danny Boy" Cello: Brian Penny Piano: Andrea Nelson Speaker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Harold Hiskey Remarks . . . . . . . . . . . . . Genevieve Gardner Musical . . . . . . . . . . . "Near My God to Thee" Vocal: Justin Lee Cello: Bridget Lee Piano: Andrea Nelson Benediction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Paul Nelson * * * Dedication of Grave . . . . . . H. Roice Nelson, Jr. Interment . . . . . . . . . . . Cedar City Cemetery The Nelson Family wishes . . . . . to express their gratitude for your many kindnesses evidenced in thought and deed and for your attendance'


The Eulogy Read (minus a sentence saying "It was Pauline's wish that in lieu of flowers donations be given to the SUU Library."):


`Pauline H. Nelson died April 8, 2003 in LaVerkin after a lengthy illness. She was born on November 21, 1929 in St. George to Helen Forsha Hafen and Paul A. Hafen. She married Howard R. Nelson on October 9, 1947 and lived in Cedar City after that time. Pauline described herself as a book reader and bibliophile. In her younger years she was active as an accompanist and civic worker. She served as President of the Cedar City Business and Professional Women's Club, Secretary of the Iron County Republican Committee, Cub Scout Den Mother, and Secretary-Treasurer of Cedar City Music Arts Committee. She graduated from Dixie High School in 1947 and College of Southern Utah in 1967. She earned a Master of Business Education Degree in 1969 from Bowling Green University in Ohio and also studied business education at BYU in 1974-1975. She also earned the Certified Professional Secretary designation. Pauline's professional work began as a bookkeeper - secretary for Southwick and Whetten, CPAs and office manager for Dixie Leavitt Insurance Agency. She worked as an Associate Professor of Business at Southern Utah State College (now Southern Utah University) from 1969 to 1974. Then she became an administrator until 1985 when she had a debilitating stroke. As assistant provost she was one of the top women in higher education in the State of Utah. She helped write several grants which generated thousands of dollars for the University. Pauline could see a student's potential, even when they themselves were unaware of their skills. She encouraged students and faculty to develop their abilities and made many life long friends through education. Howard cared for Pauline after her stroke for 12 years before he died from cancer in 1996. She is also preceded in death by her parents and several aunts and uncles. Her survivors include her two children H. Roice (Andrea) Nelson, Jr. of Houston, Texas and Sara (Desmond) Penny of Cedar City; 12 grandchildren, H. Roice Nelson III, Benjamin Bengt Nelson, Paul Fredrick Nelson, Melanie Robbyn (Nelson) Wright, Sara Ellyn Nelson, Robert Llewellyn Nelson, Bridget Helen (Penny) Lee, Brian Noel Penny, Heather Nielson, Audrey Nielson, Rachel Nielson, and Matthew Nielson, three great- grandchildren; brothers Anthony Hafen of St. George and Glenn Hafen of Heber City; and many nieces and nephews.'

Then I read the words to a song written on 08 May 1983:

`Mothers are special. We get one a lifetime. They nurse us and baby us, Long past our infancy. Childhood goes quickly, We learn at their feet. A teenager's best friend is Mother so dear. Adults miss their mothers, as much as a child. And when we have left them to live far away We dream of the words that we heard long ago. And when they have left us, to live with our Father, We dream of the words, that we heard long ago.'

The graveside service seemed to go well. Uncle Des couldn't believe I didn't write out what I was going to say. I explained I find myself learning as I listen to the words I say during priesthood ordinances like this. My cousin Darrel, who had been in Cedar the week before, flew back for the funeral. I introduced him, his brothers Roice and Eric to some of you as `the three Kruegers.' Roice said, `Yea, that is like the three Nephites.' I affirmed this is true, after which Eric said, `The only thing in common is the word three.' My point is life goes on, and it is appropriate to enjoy it, even in a moment of sorrow, like the death of your mother.

After the services we took Grandma Shirts back to her house and then went out to the church in the valley by the farm house for a feast prepared by Dad's sisters. We were a little late, and a lot of folks left shortly after we got there. Lot's of anger. Anne Nelson, my cousin Lynn's wife had been very offended by how Mom had treated her. I guess I have not visited them as often as appropriate when I have been in Cedar. Hopefully I can do better and repair or build a bridge. We sat down by Anne and Uncle Ted, and Uncle Ted's first words were to the effect, `Nice of you to sit with such lowly folks as us.' He had no idea about Mom's impact at the college before he heard the funeral talks and his comments were quite interesting at the time, although I don't remember them now. We all ended up at Aunt Sara's and Uncle Des' to play games in the evening. We also finished Mom's last request and all sang `The Beer Barrel Polka.' It was a nice evening.

When we got back to Houston, there was a beautiful plant from Andrea's walking ladies, and Symphony Cards from:

- Joe and Linda Roberts - Andrea's Aunt Nadine - Reynolds, Louanna, Anthony, Colleen, and Michael Cahoon - Aunt Connie, Uncle Glenn's first wife - Floyd and Mary Lunt - Steve Shirts and Family - George and Becky Schultz - The Activities Committee: Charles, Julie, & Emily Caron, Brent Peterson, Jeff Jurinak, Gary and Roetta Jones, and Rachael Williams - David and Karen Kessler and Family

Of course, other than Aunt Connie and David Kessler, none of the other folks had even met Pauline H. Nelson. And hopefully we will all have an opportunity to meet and reflect on choices we made during our mortality, particularly the positive choices.

Aunt Luana sent the following note (referencing 0320.html):

`May 10, 2003 Dear Roice I am here to tell you how much I admire and appreciate you and your wonderful Andrea. So much is good about your lives. Pauline loved you very much and for good reason. I hope you feel satisfied that your role in your mother's life was very positive. The weekly telephone calls, the thoughtlets, the regular visits ---- all made her burden lighter. She was an outstanding individual in so many ways. Her intellect, her wit, her drive influenced many to dream for better things and to work for them. It was true when she was young, vigorous and beautiful and it was true when she lay helpless in her bed. Surely, you miss her - at the same time grateful that she has shed her sick tired body. God bless you! Pleas be happy! Come see us if you can. Sara sent us an announcement of her graduation. Marketing and French --- exciting combination. Love, Aunt Luana P.S. Loyd's mother is failing rapidly. She is with Naoma, Loyd's sister, in Orem.'

There was also a very nice e-mail from a friend (and neighbor) in my High School class when I was growing up:

`Dear Roice, My parents told me of your Mother passing away. She certainly has suffered for many years since her stroke. I just wanted to let you know what great people your parents were. As a 4-H'er I remember learning about white pepper from your mother. We unsophisticated farm kids only knew about the common black kind and I remember thinking, "Wow, isn't she neat!" Another time that was very comforting was as returning Girl's Staters we had to speak to several organizations. The first was the Cedar City Business Women's Association and I was very nervous, but there was your Mom, someone I knew! What a relief! A quality I really admired about your mother was her untiring civic service. Not only was she a great campaigner for my dad, but she served the community and college her whole life. One great memory I have of your Dad was during the time Jim and I lived in your grandmother's adobe home down the lane in the fields. One day in the spring your father, in his always quiet way, walked up to me in the yard. He was carrying a child's ball that was a little faded. He said he had found it in the irrigation water and wanted to know if we would like our baby to have it (my now 31 year-old baby). Of course, I accepted it with thanks. Our baby played with it a lot, as did our next three babies. Now my grandchildren get it out of the old toy box and enjoy it still. Isn't it interesting how far reaching a small kindness can be. Well, as we all know no parents, including ourselves, are saints, but it is really nice to reminisce about their saintly qualities. Of those who have passed on, I tend to let negative memories fade and cling to the great positive memories. I hope this finds you and yours well and happy. Thanks for the great work you are doing with the class reunion web site. It helps to see the faces of our classmates so we don't have to say, "Who's that?" Soon I'll send my current info to you. With appreciation, Elma Matheson Baird'

It is hard for me to put a wrapper on, i.e. write words of closure about, the person who has had the biggest impact on my life of any other person on the face of planet Earth. Maybe it is that way with each of us. Our mothers are who set our paths and who are our well spring of intellectual and emotional nourishment. Maybe this is why those who are mean to their mothers seem to lack something important. I certainly was mean to my Mom at times, and now I regret those times, those words, and those letters. We all will have the opportunity to stand and be judged for how well we kept the fifth commandment, the only commandment with a promise: `Honor thy father and mother that thy days may be long in the land.' I loved my Mom, and I did strive to honor and support, to visit and help, and to be a good son to Pauline H. Nelson."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 2003 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.