cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Diane Cluff, Maxine Shirts via mail.
"Unlike last week's reversal in order, putting diary before context, and the normal format of context then diary, this week will simply be written as the week's diary (with context interspersed). Actually, I do strive to intersperse context through diary all of the time, so maybe this paragraph is redundant. Hey, is this a spiritual insight?
One of the reason's I felt `pretty discouraged' last week was I knew this was going to be a critical week going into it. Sunday evening Continuum's investor Kjell Finstad and his assistant Trond Christopherson arrived. I had been told he was coming for two days and would return to Norway on Tuesday evening. So when I went in on Monday morning I expected there to be several meetings set up. There were none. There were a series of add hoc meetings throuh-out the day. Most of the decisions were being done in private breakfast and dinner discussions. I guess I knew this is the way it would happen, yet when I got home Monday evening, and spent some time to reflect on the day, this seemed like a new spiritual insight.
Last Thursday, when I went in the office for the afternoon, Rhonda Hartmann asked me to stop and talk to her. She was overwhelmed with not knowing what was happening at the company, with three programmers leaving, with stock options being issued, and not being told anything by Dave Ridyard or Jeff Hume. She said she felt like a mushroom, kept in the dark and being fed manure. I explained, from my experience as a missionary in England and from years of working with Englishmen (at Mobil, UH, Landmark, HyperMedia, and of course Continuum where about 1/4th of the employees were born in England), it is a cultural characteristic to:
Then I reminded her of a similar conversation when we were still Walden Visualization Systems, and I had quoted from the New Testament to her:
Rhonda acknowledged what a spiritual insight this conversation had been for her, when I had originally quoted this scripture to her.
She choose Continuum, and for the most part she has had a good experience for her. As we talked, I reminded her:
As I went through the day on Monday, I reflected on last week's conversation with Rhonda, and wondered which master I am really serving. At about 4:30 there was an ad hoc meeting in Dave Ridyard's office, where Dave called me and asked if I could come down for five minutes. I said sure, and he repeated, this should only take five minutes. My reaction as I walked down the hall towards Dave's office could be called a spiritual insight, if only because I knew this was the meeting I would finally find out what was happening at Continuum. My expectations were confirmed as I walked in to find Jeff Hume in his office, and Dave on the phone asking Peter Duncan, a Canadian and the fourth member of the senior management team, to join us.
The meeting lasted until about 5:30. As in most meetings of this nature there were many things said, most of which are and should be company confidential, and so I won't repeat them. The bottom line had to do with a reorganization which affected John Amason. At some point, maybe when Rob signs back on to the Thoughtlets, I might go into the specifics, because John has been such a technical pillar of stength and support for me and my projects since 1983. Right now it is sufficient to say there is going to be a major reorganization at Continuum. On just a tiny bit of reflection I have been suprised Mr. Finstad has continued to put $500,000 per month into funding Continuum, especially when we have continuously missed deadlines. As the reorganization was discussed, I asked an innocent enough question: `What do you see my role in the new organizations?' The silence following the question provided a spiritual insight to each of the four of us in the room. It was obvious the new organization would not require a Chief Visualization Officer and `industry guru.'
After the meeting I went back to my office, and continued capturing some 1 meter per pixel air photos of Schurtz Canyon (USGS spelling of the canyon named after Andrea's ancestor Peter Shirts, which is 10 miles south of Cedar City) for an immersive reality model I plan to build to highlight for Rick Zimmerman the opportunity I see. It is interesting how I tend to do something very mechanical when I feel a lot of stress. It keeps my body busy, and allows my mind to sort through and try to find the words to describe what is going on inside of myself. Sometimes I like to go for a long drive. Other times to do things like capturing these images. It is also a type of meditation and often results in some form of spiritual insight.
Earlier in the day I had called John Cates and discussed what the next steps are with regards to Rob. He told me I should go to the parents meeting called Climber's at 6:30, and I had no reason why I shouldn't, and so I had agreed to go. For calibration, I have been feeling more stress about Rob than about work. Therefore I worked on capturing images until 6:00. I had taken the Lexus in for the last free service, 25,000 miles, on Monday morning, and so walked over to pick it up about 6:00 Monday evening. Then I went to the LifeWay parent's meeting by way of MacDonald's, 9 Chicken McNuggets, and an ice water.
There were about 24 people (couples and individuals) in Climbers last Monday. The most I had seen at my previous two meetings was about 10. Andrea was at school functions and was not able to go to the meeting with me. I listened, although John Cates gave me every opportunity to participate. He gave a lecture, and the theme was whether to be passive or aggressive in responding to the disease of addiction. My spiritual insight here was the fact passive and aggressive are simply alternative words for unconditional love (0032.html) and tough love (0033.html). The issue with this disease, as John stressed is the fact any passive approach turns into a lost cause, and the only viable solution is to be aggressive. It is not in my nature to be aggressive, and I expect it will be very hard for me to do the tough love thing, especially as some of you kids tell me to back off. As I have written before, I am pretty insecure, and it takes a lot of anger to motivate me to be aggressive, especially in matters that really matter to me where there is the downside of rejection by those I love. I am simply afraid of making matters worse. Yet thanks to PAIRS I have got a pretty good handle on anger. So the downside is I'm not sure if I will be able to exercise the tough love I firmly believe is needed.
When I got home I just wanted to hibernate. In John Gray's `Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,' he calls this retreating to a cave. So I figured out how to reset the pathways on the Sun workstation in the office, which acts as the walden3d.com web server, brought up one of my old HyperJournals, copied the images I had ftp'd to the house from Continuum, and started building a composite image of Schurtz's Canyon. I worked on this until about 11:00. I remember the spiritual insight at about the second PAIRS meeting where Nancy told us distraction was one of the ways we handle stress, and I angrily responded `I never distract myself from my problems!' I have come to realize distraction is my main method of handling stress. Going to a movie, reading a book, working on the computer, all these are simply different forms of distraction.
Tuesday morning I got to work about 8:00. Jeff was not in, and did not show up until about noon. Jeff stressed to me when I saw him he spent three hours in the dentist chair that morning and forgot to call and tell anyone. Cindy had showed up from London on Monday, and she was also not in the office Tuesday morning. It didn't take much spiritual insight to guess why Jeff was so defensive about not being in that morning. Not that I doubt he visited the dentist. There were no meetings with Mr. Finstad, and in fact there were no meetings with the management group on Tuesday. I had set up a meeting with a Breakthrough Research group at Exxon-Mobil Upstream Research, and when I got in Monday morning there was a message canceling the meeting. I had called the meeting organizer and talked her into rescheduling it. Then I had called those I had talked to at the SEG who agreed to attend the meeting. They all canceled, and someone called the organizer and got on her case about telling me the name Breakthrough Research. She called back and said she was going to cancel, although she encouraged me to continue to pursue the Knowledge Backbone(SM) ideas. Because the meeting had canceled on Monday, Peter Duncan took his son to college in San Antonio on Tuesday, and he has been the only voice of sanity to talk things through with at work. Needless to say I was more than a little frustrated by the time I left the office a little after 5:00.
When I got home Matt was working on home work and I helped him. Everytime I help him I feel guilty because I seldom remember helping the rest of you kids with your homework. Maybe you were just plain smart, or more likely I thought I was too busy to be a Dad. I know my Dad never helped me with my homework, and maybe I just have followed his example, without realizing it. If so, I'm sorry. The doorbell rang as we were finishing, and it was Joe Roberts. I had not seen him since the episode at Ken's art show (0014.html). I could smell he had been drinking. At one point in the conversation I asked him if he was drunk and he ignored the question. Joe said he needed to talk to me. Matt had a hard time picking up his books and leaving the room, and by the time he finally did Andrea was back from picking up Rachel. Joe started several times to deliver his message, and we were cut off several times. Some of the times were me inserting questions to see how he is doing. I will not repeat all of the things he said. It truly would be egotistical to do so. I'll just say five things about his message:
The rest of the evening, as I continued to put together a picture of Schurtz's Canyon, I pondered the surreal nature of Joe's visit, his message of hope, my feelings of failure, my concerns about the future, and came to the realization Heavenly Father can send spiritual insight and feelings of comfort and hope from the most unlikely and unexpected sources.
Andrea and I talked some on Tuesday evening while I was working on compositing the images. However, Wednesday morning I soon realized it was not enough. There was a financial issue of a couple of thousand dollars, and instinctively I went into self defense mode. I used improper language to depreciate myself, which upset Andrea. She went for a walk, and I waited to leave for the office until she got home from her walk. I responded to an e-mail from Nate while I waited. When Andrea got home she did not want to talk, and I stayed until we had talked some. The conversation was not resolved, yet it was resolved enough I felt I could go to work. I did not get to the office until 9:15, which is very unusual for me, as I am almost always there before 8:00. I was working on SEG call reports and reading e-mail when Peter Duncan came in to find out what had happened on Tuesday. He also told me Jeff, Dave, Stuart Jackson, and John Hough, a Vice-President at MuSE who was the founder of Virtual Presence and was a classmate of Jeff Hume's from Manchester, England, were meeting and I needed to go to the meeting. I said I had not been invited, and apologized for being late, since Peter is who I report to. He said I was a major shareholder and co-founder and on the Board of Directors and if it were him he would go to the meeting. This is the type of spiritual insight, or should I say push, I too often need to get in gear and to do something uncomfortable.
The meeting was interesting. It seemed to ramble, yet there were specific topics covered and decisions made. During one of the breaks Mr. Finstad and I had the first opportunity to talk. I asked him how he saw me fitting into the new organization. He said he did not see a place for me, and that this had come up at dinner the night before. I said I understood, and the meetings continued. For many people it would have been easy to have taken a more agressive position at this point. However, my experience is if you force things to happen, and don't find how how they naturally flow, the things you force tend to fall apart anyway. I felt comfortable, call it a spiritual insight, everything would turn out just fine.
Andrea wanted to make sure Matt had a chance to go through the Houston Temple Open House, and so she took him up Wednesday evening. Young Men's and Young Women's had been canceled so families could go to see or to take their friends to see the temple. Andrea had agreed to pick up Richard and Jill Uden, who were just coming back from a Canadian vacation following the SEG, and so I volunteered to pick them up so she could take Matt up to the Champions area. I left the office at 5:00 and got up to Intercontinental a half hour before their plane arrived. So I ate dinner at Jack-In-The-Box. Food is another one of my stress relievers. It was a nice drive back, and I told Richard I would be leaving the company. He was very English and proper about the news. Andrea got home a little while after I did. I told her what Finstad had said, then I described what I had been thinking about, and the spiritual insights earlier in the afternoon.
I made a spread-sheet. It describes weekly newsletters, monthly Virtual Seminars, quarterly Private Seminars, annual Trend Reports, and a formalization of the network-of-minds I have been working towards for years. On the spread-sheet were 89 friends whom I felt would be interested in receiving a weekly newsletter from me. Friends interested enough to pay $1.00 per week. My idea is that these e-mail newsletters would be put in the public domain after six months, and those who paid would be paying for the time value of observations about the sciences and industry issues which catch my attention, or the attentions of members of my network-of-minds, and which we write about each week. The idea is a sort of technical Thoughtlet. The minimal payment for the newsletters will be required to insure interest. Eight-nine newsletters bring in less than $400. per month, yet for every 200 additional subscribers the newsletter income would increase by $900. per month. Maybe it is just ego, yet based on reactions to the Obsolesence of Maps paper and other presentations, I think there is broad scientific interest in technologies I monitor and am involved in. Past newsletters will be put in the public domain after six months.
The newsletters will also promote monthly Virtual Seminars (see http://www.virtual-seminars.com). The idea is to put together a new Virtual Seminar each month, and to sell an annual access fee at $1,000. per month for unlimited access by a company. Selling this to 10 companies would generate $12,000. per month income. The Virtual Seminars would be made available to the non-subscribing general public, for a fee, after a year. Then there would be Private Seminars at places like Iowa State University's C-6 and 250 person stereo auditorium (0018.html) on a quartly basis. The package here would be for two employees per company and would cost $4,000 per quarter or $16,000. per year. I anticipate it is possible to get 10 companies to pay these fees right out of the chute, which is another $14,000 per month of income. Past Private Seminars would be made available to non-subscribers after 12 month delay. Finally using insights from the newsletters, the Virtual Seminars, and the Private Seminars, there would be an annual trend report generated by members of the network-of-minds. This will sell for $18,000 per year for 2 CD's, and will be made available to non-prepaid subscribers after 24 months at a discounted price.
Each of these various items will be indexed against the Knowledge Backbone (sm). The idea is to use the continuous improvement Best Practice documentation process and to expand the network-of-minds to identify the top scientists in each aspect of measurable science, and to meld this group together as a single voice to be advisors to local, regional, and national governments and businesses. I called the project Answers UnLimited. I'm sure it will not turn out like was invisioned on Wednesday afternoon. For instance, there is way too much emphasis on free ideas in e-mail newsletters for a fee to be easily accepted. In addition, there are many more spiritual insights necessary to hone this into a viable opportunity. Yet the seed idea feels good to me. These ideas also feel good to Andrea, and her calmness and support in the midst of the uncertainty was comforting.
Thursday morning started with a Board of Directors meeting (actually a discussion between the three of us). Mr. Finstad has been very distracted the last few months, and it was fun to watch him focus on decisions and opportunities. Jeff was positioning for Continuum Shareholders to own 32% of the London Seismic Acquistion Quality Control business, which Mr. Finstad had kept alive with his Persian Carpet seismic acquistion project. He said fine, you can have 95% of the ownership and I will give Mega's business to someone else. Otherwise the 95% belongs to me. After the discussion about how spinning the Australian operation off as a public company was going was over, I brought up the fact Mr. Finstad had never resolved the conflict of interest in Jeff's personal ownership in 2% of that company to my satisfaction. I said it was originally a question to satisfy Dave Ridyard and Peter Duncan, when we knew Jeff was leaving the company and he was feathering his nest, and now it was becoming personal since I would be leaving the company. Mr. Finstad asked me to leave so he could discuss this with Jeff. When I came back in they told me they were going to give me all of the HyperMedia technology and licenses which I had signed over to Continuum, and that this and the Australian ownership was fair for both Jeff and I. Mr. Finstad said he did not believe what I brought to the company had the value we said it had. I smiled and said, `I do not understand that statement, particularly as I look at what Continuum Resources is doing today, and compare it to what Energy Innovations was doing before the merger, and particularly components like the London Seismic Acquistion Quality Control business.' This was the closest we came to an argument, and there is no question in my mind how history will write this whole event. Especially since I am the only one who will document what has happened, along with any associated spiritual insight.
Mr. Finstad had me come downstairs and participate in a presentation of his Persian Carpet survey to Doug Nester of Santa Fe at 9:00. He wants me to sell this spec 2-D/3-D seismic survey, the largest one which has ever been shot, to Houston oil companies for him. He will pay $100,000 per license I sell. The only issue is the U.S. has a very strong embargo against doing any kind of work with Iran, and I do not want to get on the wrong side of the U.S. government. It does not take spiritual insight to know this would be a big mistake. This is the first time I had looked at the data. Very interesting geology, and it will be a fun project to interpret. This might be a contract I take on. It would take about two years and would generate quite a bit more cash than my current salary.
While we were waiting for Doug to arrive Mr. Finstad told me he had been attempting to recruit David Kessler to be part of his new geophysical company. David turned him down. He asked who else had a strong small processing company, which he could purchase. I said, `Wulf Massel.' He said call him and ask him. Tom Sherman, a man Mr. Finstad says you can steal horses with, was on his cell phone calling information as soon as I said this. I simply picked up the phone in the decompression room we were sitting in, got out my mailing list, called Wulf, and said: `I have someone here who would like to buy your company. Are you interested?' He said `Yes. Is this Finstad?' I said `Yes. He is leaving in an hour for Norway so you need to get out here in the next half-hour.' Wulf said, `I have someone coming at 11:00.' I responded, `If you are interested cancel it, and be here by 10:30.' He was, and they came to a tenative agreement before Mr. Finstad went in to the employee meeting at 10:45. I don't know how much commission I will get for setting this up, if it happens. However, Mr. Finstad is a man who is fair, and there will be a commission.
When I got in on Thursday morning I learned Jeff Hume had called an all hands employee meeting for 10:30. Several weeks ago I had signed up to usher at the Houston Temple at 11:00 on Thursday, and so I ended up canceling and asking Andrea to take my place as the team leader. I sat on the second row during the staff meeting and watched myself become a non-entity as Jeff and Mr. Finstad went on and on about how they are going to make sure Continuum Resources is successful. It was uncomfortable, yet it felt good to not be part of it anymore. I do believe we have CoReExplorer(TM) (0030.html) far enough along that I will be able to use it in consulting work within the next few months, and frankly my goal with Continuum was simply to develop the visualization tools necessary for the next stage of my work with Walden 3-D and developing new types of urban environments. Mr. Finstad left in the middle of the meeting to go to the store and buy some stuff for his family, and I have seldom seen Jeff so upbeat. It almost made me feel good to join him as one of the scapegoats, so that all of the things he was describing can actually occur.
Before the conversation about the processing center, when I asked Mr. Finstad when my last paycheck would be, he immediately responded the end of September. After the employee meeting Peter came and talked to me. He said Jeff had told him I am leaving the company, and how upset the whole thing made him. Peter also said Jeff acted really miffed about the whole thing. Then when he told me Jeff said he knew nothing about some other politically motivated moves relative to the upcoming company reorganization, I just smiled and my smile taught both Peter and I the spiritual insight that it was impossible for Jeff to not know about these changes. Oh well!
Later Jeff came by my office. When I told him Mr. Finstad said my last paycheck would be the end of September Jeff blew up. It came across as a fake blow-up. Jeff said, `Finstad just doesn't understand U.S. laws and employee law suits. We at least need to provide you with the same kind of package we provided Steve Hunt. And I am going to take Finstad to the airport, and I will make sure he knows this.' I found it extremely funny he was coaching me about employee lawsuits, especially since it has only been a few weeks since he threated to `embarrass (me) and (my) cult in front of the entire company!' Since I did not include this juicy tidbit in the appropriate Thoughtlet, none of you will know this occurred after I told Jeff how upset his management team was (and actually it was more Peter Duncan and Dave Ridyard than myself) when he took Cindy from London to Perth and back at company expenses for eight days of meetings. (Dave later told me Jeff payed the company back for Cindy's plane fare, although I did not ask about her salary.) Hopefully you are each gaining the spiritual insight that one of the reasons I feel good about my leaving Continuum is that I will no longer be involved in some of the baloney involved in power struggles in a small company. It is sad how pride and CEO'itus seems to get to almost everyone who wants to lead a company. I expect I will write a book about all of this type of entreprenurial stuff someday.
Thursday afternoon Peter Duncan I spent a couple of hours with Gregory Kushnir of Shared Earth Incorporated. He was an early employee of GeoGraphix in Denver, and they have built the basics of a software package for reservoir geologists that integrates maps with cross-sections. They are going out of business if they do not raise some money in the next month. We gave the best advise we could, and there was really nothing we could do to help him. It was flattering to listen to him talk about my reputation, how glad he was to meet me, and how much he appreciated the advise we gave him.
Thursday after work and after stopping at the house to change and eat I went to Marti's to pick up Rob for LifeWay. He was not there. Sara finally got Marti to come to the door, and I explained this was not acceptable, especially after she promised me he would be ready and waiting. She was tired, and she still made sure I understood I am coming across in this whole thing as a pushy, aggressive, power monger. Unconditional love or tough love, and passive or aggressive responses to the disease were the thoughts filling my mind. I got part way through the first of the three prerehersed responses to Rob not going with me to LifeWay, before Marti went inside slamming the door in my face. I said that the addendum to the divorce decree specified she would take the kids to church and encourage them to follow the principles of in the `For The Strength of Youth' pamphlet, and that I no longer felt responsibility to do the other requirement of the addendum, which is to pay car insurance after the kids turn 18 and until they graduate from college. As Marti stormed through the door she said, `That was written so it was not enforcealbe anyway, so there is nothing you can do about it,' referring to church participation. It was a spiritual insight to realize she does not intend to encourage church participation. I responded, `I realize it is unenforceable,' referring to the car insurance. She said `So what are you going to do about it.' I said, `I will talk to the judge and get the divorce decree changed.' She said, `Then I will see you in court,' and went inside slamming the door. Independent of the lack of security of a regular salary after the next three months, I do not feel it is appropriate to take on the liability associated with a driver who drinks and drives, and I anticipate the judge will agree.
From the co-dependent world I have lived in for decades, I was torn up inside and was second guessing my ability to take an aggressive stance against `the disease' as I drove over to McMeans Junior High School. I had told Andrea if Rob did not go to LifeWay with me that I would meet her at Matt's school and go through the OpenHouse so she could go over to the High School for a Choir parent's meeting for Rachel. I saw several friends, and was very impressed with all of Matt's teachers. When I got home I watched Al Gore's acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention on TV. (We finally have the cut cable fixed.) It was more interesting to watch Rachel's reaction to the duplicity of Gore's claims to have created jobs, and other things which politicians take credit for and never actually do. I like Al Gore, and I like his environmental stand, yet I do not understand how a rational human being can state some of the things he does. Ego. I expect I will write about politics another time.
Friday was another interesting and long day. I finished up several SEG call reports. Peter Duncan came by and I talked through my thoughts about Answers UnLimited, the weekly newsletter, monthly new Virtual Seminars, quarterly Private Seminars, and annual Trend Report. He was unimpressed. He got me to write down my strengths, and said I need to have something to cover monthly requirements and not just look out over such a long planning horizion. Strengths we listed are:
Peter ended up the conversation telling me about a contact he has been pursuing with the U.S. Coast Guard. With dissolution of the Russian Navy, highlighted by the submarine accident this last week, there is a lot of geophysical technology that has been developed by the U.S. Navy and the U.S. Coast Guard which can be put in the public domain. He thinks I am the ideal person to inventory the technology and to take appropriate pieces of technology to oil companies and contacts like Don Paul at Chevron. I am interested, of course, in pursuing this and any other appropriate opportunity to provide a solid financial base for my family.
At lunch I went to Circuit City and looked at the new Sony Digital Camera I saw an ad for when we were in Calgary. I also took a copy of the Houston Temple invitation over to Rick Zimmerman's house and left it on the front door as we had agreed in a phone conversation just before lunch. When we talked it was wonderful to hear his praises for Sara and for the job she has done for him this summer. Sara, I am really pleased this summer job turned out to be such a good experience for you.
The afternoon was pretty quiet, except for Peter telling me he heard Jeff and Dave talking and he expected me to get at least a three month salary severance package. The CoReExchange was surreal. Jeff did not come down. Dave Ridyard sent out an announcement it was about `reviewing Peter's pictures from the SEG.' I have now semi-officially become a non-person. When they did a demonstration of the main CoReExplorer(TM) model demonstrated at the SEG, Bedi, there was a question about whether two maps were the same when they had different colormaps assigned to them. I got up and showed Dave they were the same, and his response and comments were as if I did not exist. I guess I needed this experience to understand how Bob Limbaugh felt when he was fired from Landmark, or how Bill Rollwitz felt when I was forced to shut down HyperMedia Corporation.
I left the office at 5:00 to meet Wulf and Georgeann Massell at the Cypress Stake Center. I got lost on the way, and it was 5:45 by the time I arrived. This was the first time we had a chance to talk about the conversation Wulf had with Mr. Finstad. Just as we started, Don Winningham came up. He and I both worked for Wulf in 1981, when Sara was born. I talked briefly to his wife Charlene, telling her about the divorce and how each of you kids are, while Wulf and Don reaquainted themselves with each other. The last time I had seen Don was when we went down to the Richmond-Rosenberg Chapel to attend his baptism, probably 8 years ago. Wulf was pleased with my candor and description of the very real opportunity and risks associated with working with Mr. Finstad. It will be interesting to see how this all turns out.
Andrea and Matt arrived about 6:30. I left her with my cell phone to wait for Sara, who was driving out from downtown. Melanie and Jared had been waiting for us since 5:00 at the temple. They were so tired and hungry by the time we got there. Matt waited outside with them while Wulf, Georgeann, and I went on the tour. It was wonderful, and I wish you all could have been there. Sara got lost, then waited with Andrea until Melanie called and asked her to come on the tour. Andrea drove Sara down from the Cypress Stake Center, and then drove Matt, Wulf, Georgeann, and I to Wulf's car and then to a resturant. Then I went back to the stake center and picked up Melanie, Sara, and Jared after the bus dropped them off. Jared drove the Lexus, and as I gave him the keys I told him the car was going back to the company, since I had been terminated. He told Melanie just as we sat down to eat and she wanted to know what was going on. Matt had not heard and so he was concerned. When Melanie asked what I am going to do, I said `I'm going to consult again and make a lot of money.' We did talk through the whole thing enough I hope Melanie, Sara, and Matt are not too worried. This was the first opportunity to tell Andrea there was probably going to be a three month package rather than one-and-a-half months of salarly. One of the story's we laughed and laughed about was written over a year and a half ago in a Thoughtlet (../9911.html). Sara said, `It wasn't the same reading it as listening to the snorts, belly laughs, and overall ambience.' It was nice to have Wulf tell you kids I am an OK guy. We had a wonderful Italian dinner. To top it off Wulf insisted on paying for it.
It was almost 11:00 PM by the time Matt and I started off for Dallas to finally meet Ethan Evans Nelson (0011.html). We sang songs, talked, and had a good time. I wasn't watching close enough when we came to a construction area, and I ended up with a ticket for going 70 in a 55 mph zone. Oh well! We got to Ben and Sarah's about 2:20 AM, and, of couse, they were sound asleep.
I got up Saturday morning about 9:00 AM. Ben and Sarah and Ethan were nowhere to be seen. So I went for a run up to Spring Valley Road. When we lived in Dallas we had stake leadership meetings at Spring Valley Road and Meandering Way, and so I had driven up this part of Coit Road a dozen times back in the mid-to-late 1970's. As I was running I was thinking about the newsletter, and trying to decide what to call it. Answers UnLimited was replaced by Observations, then by the time I got back to the house by `Observelets.' Needless to say I was sweaty when I got back and had my first view of my first Grandson. Ethan is perfect. However, Ben would not let me hold him until I had a shower, because I was sweaty. Ben I hope you will remember Adam was told that `by the sweat of thy face thou shalt eat bread,' and that you will not always protect Ethan from sweat.
Saturday was just about the perfect morning. Just laying around and holding and feeding Ethan. He hasn't lost his umbilical chord yet, so I don't feel like I was way too late in meeting him. He doesn't talk much yet. I expect this will change too. I have spent so much time and effort striving to make the world a better place for my children and grandchildren, that it was overwhelming to hold my first grandson and to realize, in a very tangible manner, the effort has not been in vain. I hid the tears, yet they were there, and as I write this they are here. My heart is full, and I am content.
A little later someone called Ben, and I overheard him say `I have been playing with my brother, I mean my step-brother,' and the spiritual insight was everything is going to turn out all right.
I had forgot I had made a dinner appointment with a friend from Greece who teaches at the University of Houston for Saturday night, and so all too soon Matt and I left and drove back to Houston. Matt has a song he likes to sing which goes:
By the time I got to `... 0 5 0' he was begging me to stop. I think it got on his nerves. We had a good time, and we got back to the Cypress Stake Center just at the same time Andrea, Ioannis, and Marie did. It was a very nice discussion, and we didn't even make it out to dinner. I expect there will be a time in the future to talk and write more about this tour. Suffice it to say I was tired by the time we got back to the house at about 11:00 PM. I slept in until 9:00 again, and after reading the papers started writing this epistle about spiritual insight.
In Sacrament Meeting Michelle Schmidt sang the song which was part of the video at the beginning of the Houston Temple Tour. I decided to close this Thoughtlet quoting the words, because I believe they capture significant spiritual insight:
Possibly it is because of Joe Robert's visit and unexpected words that I have not had a moment's concerns about the events of this week. Maybe it is because of Andrea's response when I told her Mr. Finstad fired me. I do not understand exactly where the pathway is leading, yet I feel no concern, I feel I have been prepared, that I am being guided to do something worthwhile, and I look forward to sharing with each of you, as a space of time unravels the future, any new or additional or associated spiritual insight."