cc: file, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner. Diane Cluff, and Andrea Shirts
"As we get started on a new year, I think it is appropriate to point out how I attempt to use these Thoughtlets to stress a specific point. Each week something happens related to many of the different points made in the various Thoughtlets which I have written. For instance in just the A's and B's there are Thoughtlets on accidents (.../9842.html), allergies (.../9738.html), anger (9812.html), blessings (9733.html), and books (.../9822.html). There is something that happens relative to each of these topics almost every week of my life, and yet I tend to write about them in the week when there is a predominance, not that they aren't part of my life virtually every week. This concept is particularly true for this week's topic. I make mistakes every day, and I usually don't write about them, I, like most people, tend to sweep mistakes under the carpet. You kids know I make a lot of mistakes, and I appreciate the tolerance you give me. This week seemed particularly fraught with errors.
Last Sunday evening I was busy writing about the Mountain Meadow Massacre and forgot about Stake Choir Practice for Stake Conference. Two mistakes. First, I was suprised about the amount of mail I got about errors in facts concerning what I wrote about what happened at Mountain Meadows. Maybe it was a mistake to write about this topic. It is pretty obvious there are still pretty strong emotions tied to the topic. Reminds me of the emotions tied to the conflict between the Catholics and the Protestants in Northern Ireland. It seems like the mistakes of the past can not be put to sleep until someone `in authority' admits responsibility for something they had nothing to do with. As I implied last week, I expect there is a pretty good chance Bengt Nelson participated (or at least supported) the dastardly deed which occurred just over 142 years ago. As the oldest son of the oldest son (Howard) of the oldest son (Roice Bengt) of the oldest son (Bengt, Jr.) of Bengt Nelson, Sr. I'm sorry it happened. I apologize to anyone who will read my words or hear my voice. If the iniquity of the father's are passed on to the children to the third and fourth generation (Deuteronomy 5:9 and D&C 124:50), it seems like we could put this event behind us, like the prophet suggested. I hope so, and I hope anyone who ever wants to talk about it will write me or talk to me about their feelings. The Mountain Meadows Massacre was a serious mistake. The shedding of innocent blood is different from the mistakes we individually make everyday, and yet it is comforting to know I am not responsible for judging the participants nor myself, and that all mistakes (and most sins) can be forgiven in total, thanks to the love and grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Another point on the positive side, because I forgot Choir Practice, I was able to sit with Paul and Rob at Stake Conference.
Monday was a busy day at work and I got back to the house just before Family Home Evening. It was my turn to give the lesson. The next lesson in the manual I've been using was #33, `Admitting Our Mistakes.' There was a poginant story about the growth of a girl named Linda and how she learned she could not admit making mistakes, then how she found it hard to admit her mistakes, and finally how she could admit mistakes. One attendee came up to me after and admitted making several long distance phone calls on my phone without consulting me. This was after I repeated my admission of making a mistake in getting angry about the stereoscope, which I wrote about in last week's Thoughtlet. This individual will still get a bill for the phone calls.
Tuesday morning I got ready, read the paper, read the scriptures, checked mail, went through the stuff Sister Grua left for me Monday, and was 10 minutes late leaving to meet a couple of guys for breakfast at Cliff's on Westheimer. It was a mistake not to go through the mail the night before. However, the third guy was even later than me, so it didn't seem like a big mistake. This was the first time I drove anyone in the new company Lexus, and it was interesting how good the response was. We had a great meeting at the VETL. We are going to turn the VETL into the intergalactic headquarters for visualization, particularly for oil & gas. Four of us went to lunch, and I didn't buy for the first time in three visits to the UH. There was a lot to do at the office in the afternoon, and I was late getting out of the office. I ended up getting to the house at 7:05, and the Evolver conference call had been changed so we called in. We had folks on the phone from Provo, Houston, New York, and Katy. It was suppose to start at 7:00. Oh well! The conference call went well despite my being late, and despite my being short with Melanie to get her off of the phone.
Alma came over at 7:30, the conference call ended at 8:15, and the rest of the family arrived at 8:30 to go pick Paul up. Melanie had told me your Mom was willing to ride up to the airport with me. I was excited. Then they arrived, and I was relegated a seat in the back of the van. I kept thinking about when I stopped to say good-bye to Grandma Nelson the previous Saturday and she told me she wished I would stop asking your Mom if she has changed her mind, `because it gives her power over (me).' When I responded I wanted to give Marti every chance I could to come back to me, Mom just said `Marti knows what she is doing, and she is proving she has power over you.' As I sat in the back seat of the van being driven to pick up my son, whom I had diligently written to every week, I felt out of control. The emotions were strong and I knew I would need to be careful not to make a serious mistake. So I didn't say anything, I just stewed and got angry. As we got to the airport and parked I just walked ahead and found the terminal where Paul would come in at. Melanie caught up with me and was trying to get me to laugh and to be happy about Paul coming home. I was angry about not being in control and when she asked what was wrong told her I felt emasculated. She said `You emasculate yourself.' I responded `You have a lot of wisdom for your age.' Melanie had made four signs for Paul's homecoming and had two balloons. We took digital pictures and the kids got me to smile a little. Sara was tired and wanted to lay down and got stuck under the seat handles. The digital movies of her are funny. The plane was 30 minutes late. When it finally arrived Paul was not on it. Turns out I made another mistake. I wrote the wrong day for his return in my planner. When we found Paul was scheduled for the next night, Sara asked if we were just stupid, and Melanie was upset because she had to go back to Austin to go to work and wouldn't be here. I just slept on the way back to the house, and everyone seemed to be ok with my mistakes and apology when we returned. Melaine was very upset with me about my attitude, and she got me to graphically explain what I meant by the word emasculate, which she explained she didn't know the meaning of.
Wednesday I had to tell everyone at work that asked about Paul about my mistake. It is humbling to admit mistakes. It is good for all of us to do more of this admission. During one conversation with Terry Smith, employee #5 at Landmark and a long-time friend, it came out I had made the mistake of never giving him a copy of the prints of your paintings. Admitting the mistake and rectifying it led to a nice conversation. Terry now has print set #541. That afternoon my friend Rick Zimmerman came over, and his first question was how did the ride to the airport go. When I told him I didn't drive, there was no conversation, and I had written down the wrong day in my planner, he was supprised I wasn't hung and quartered. We had a nice demonstration and discussion, and then we went to Beef `N Bird Rotisserie for dinner. It was fun to show him all of Ken's paintings, to talk to Mr. Menke, and to have an evening with a good friend. I left in time to get to the airport on time. As I was driving up to the parking I thought to myself, `Why are planes always late? Maybe Paul will be early.' He was! When I checked the monitor it said the plane was landed and I was there 12 minutes early. I hurried over to the gate, and there was Paul just coming past security. It was sure good to see him, even if he skinny. We sat down and talked until the rest of the family arrived.
Marti, Rob, and Joe Amason got off the elevator and went right to the monitors. Paul came up behind them and said, `Is he here yet?' Rob turned around and laughed, and started to point at him. Then your Mom realized Paul was there. I didn't quite catch the scene on the digital camera. As soon as I get the disk drive working there will be some photos in http://www.walden3d.com/photos/PaulsHomecoming.... Paul was in awe of everything. Novosibirsk is obviously pretty isolated. I called Andrea on the way to the house, and gave her a report of the week. When Paul and company got to the house I invited them all in to watch as Paul opened his Christmas presents. Paul called Sara, who had been at her competitive cheerleading, and invited her over to the house. It felt natural, even with Marti sitting there, when Rob gave Paul a present from Andrea and explained this was from one of Dad's friends. After Sara got there and Marti, Rob, and Joe had left, Paul sat down and crossed his legs like the Russians. He said, `Opps, I'm not suppose to do that because that is the way girl's sit.' Sara looked at him and said, `Paul it's ok, that's the way I cross my legs.' Paul grabbed his heart and said, `Oh, you strike me to the heart and make me feel so wierd.' He was looking for the word emasculated, and I didn't teach it to him and her. I just thought of the night before and my heated conversation with Melanie after we got back to the house. I just wish I knew how to express emotions better. This weakness results in lots of mistakes, and I hope it is not another mistake to strongly differentiate mistakes from sins.
Thursday morning started with practicing a demonstration with Scott Ryan at Continuum. We had a major presentation to Tom Smith the founder and President of `Seismic Micro Technology' and two of his colleagues at 9:00. In the first brochure Walden Visualization Systems had put together for the 1997 SEG Convention in Dallas (.../9745.html) we had made the mistake of misprinting their company name as `Micro Seismic Technology.' Tom was one of two Ph.D. canidates at the Seismic Acoustics Laboratory at the University of Houston when we first moved to Houston, and so we know each other reasonably well. He took our family water skiing on Lake Summerville back in about 1983. Do any of you remember that trip? It was a great meeting, despite the mistakes of the past. Paul came down to the office at lunchtime and I took him to the Japanese Restaurant near the office for lunch. He learned how to use chop sticks on his mission because the only ethnic food in Siberia is Chinese. He was so funny, talking about how good the water tastes, describing how commodes work in Russia, and numerous other things I made the mistake of not writing down. When we went back over to the office, I gave him a brief demonstration of the immersive environment. His immediate response was `Dad, you've just come up with a practical way to play video games.'
Thursday evening I worked late and made the mistake of forgetting I was suppose to be at the monthly Home Teaching Personal Priesthood Interviews. I got home about 8:00, talked to Paul a little, read some e-mail, addressed a print envelope (#545) to Simon Osbeck at his daughter's request, and got Paul to call Melanie and talk to her. When he tried to call her earlier in the day he couldn't remember how to make a long distance phone call. He called the operator and asked her what to do, and she thought it was a joke. She answered him, and he realized his mistake. In looking at the calander I decided this was the best weekend in January to take Paul up to the Dallas Temple. We called Ben and Sarah and asked if it was OK if we stayed with them on Friday night. I was so tired from all of my mistakes I went to bed early. I didn't even remember about the interviews until the next morning when I was driving in to work. Oh well! I often reminded myself everyone make mistakes.
Friday we had another demonstration practice run first thing. And then at 9:30 we had an important demonstration to three key players from Schlumberger. It went very well, despite the mistakes. It turns out several people, preparing demonstrations, were logged in using the same user account, and it filled up the sound buffer and locked up the demonstration just as we finished. I had made some mental notes about mistakes others had made in the discussions. However, before I could verbalize any of them, one of my partners pointed out mistakes I had made in my part of the presentation. Oh well! We did get the disclosure agreement with NRG Associates signed, and that should start up this project next week. Paul got to the office at 4:00 and we got off to Dallas about 4:15. The Tollroad was backed up just past the tollbooth because a driver had made a mistake, and rolled their car. This was in the lanes going in the opposite direction and everyone on our side was stopping to gape at their mistake. We saw the ambulance. We did finally make it out of Houston and stopped in Huntsville to get some dinner.
Paul was interested in going by the Institute Building to see if there was anyone there. There was not. So we stopped at the Subway place next door and went in. As we were standing there, Paul's history teacher from when he was going to school at Sam Houston State, who is also a Regional Representative, came in (it was a mistake since he seldom eats out alone on a Friday evening), and we had a wonderful discussion over Subway sandwiches. We got to Ben and Sarah's house about 9:15. What a lovely house. I took several pictures (again, when I can load them they will be under http://www.walden3d.com/photos/BenSarah08Jan99...). We watched an Elvis Presley movie with lots of girls with bikini's on, and finished the last of Ben's three Star War's Puzzles. Ben even let me put in the last piece, and didn't even act like it was a mistake I picked up the last piece. They have a couch that turns into a bed in their living room, and a bedroom upstairs with a double bed in. Ben and Sarah, you are the perfect host and hostess, and I was so impressed you even got up and fixed us pancakes. It was a really nice visit.
Friday morning we left Ben and Sarah's at about 7:50 and drove to the Dallas temple. It was closed. It was a mistake I didn't check to see if it was open. Both our High Priest Group Leader and Stake Genealogy Librarian, as well as the Regional Representative in Huntsville, knew we were going to Dallas to go to the temple. None of them noted our mistake. Oh well! We changed in the parking lot and I drove Paul past our first apartment in Nottingham Apartments at 3232 Chappel Creek Drive off of Webbs Chapel, our first house at 4910 Hanover near Lover's Lane and Inwood Drive, and our second house at 3332 Lockmore Lane. We took some digital photos of each place, along with photos of the office where we started Computer Genealogical Services and the old Mobil office at I-35 and Mockingbird Lane. We also stopped at Buddy Beene's Auto Service where I used to take our cars at Webb's Chapel and Northwest Highway. He remembered me as his `Mormon friend.' He looked at me and said `You've put on a lot of weight.' Another mistake. We ended up talking for an hour. He had a lot of questions for Paul about Russia. He described how I meekly walked into his service station and how he took me under his wing and took care of our cars. As he described my first visit, I could see Roice going in to talk to a service station attendent in California for the first time. Buddy made me promise to send him an invitation to the Houston Temple Open House. The button pulled out of my coller and Buddy gave me a bad time about tearing up my shirts. I guess some mistakes can't be mended as easily as I thought. However, it turned into a really nice morning, even if we made mistakes and didn't get to go to the temple. I guess most mistakes (call them lemons) can be turned into lemonade. Paul drove back to Houston and I worked on catching up some of my e-mail. I was answering urgent messages sent to me in August or September. Oh well!
We stopped in Huntsville and ate at a McDonald's. It was Paul's first since returning. It is really fun to watch Paul reintegrate himself into society. We then stopped at the Saturn place and picked up the license plates for Paul and Melanie. Several folks came up and talked to us and asked about Paul's mission. It was fun to see their reactions and to listen to them explain their mistakes in terms of where they spend their time and effort. Then we went to the Lexus place and got my new license plates put on. Next we stopped and filled up with gas. While we were waiting for the car wash, Paul asked `Why did the car only use 1/4 tank of gas driving to Dallas, and then 3/4 tank returning to Houston?' I chuckled and explained I had stopped and bought gas in Ennis while he was asleep. Then he explained his mistake. He had spent an hour trying to figure out where the big gasoline tank was in the Lexus. `Maybe it is a big flat tank that covers the whole bottom of the car, or maybe there isn't part of the trunk.' It reminded me of the mistake I made when I first got to England on my mission, couldn't wear my contacts because of the smog, was too vain to put on my glasses, and was convinced all of the taxi cabs had color televisions in them (they were meters and they just looked blurrey to me). Then we went to Albertsons. Paul's reaction is best summarized by `Russian's would not know what to do in one of these' (said with his mouth agape). The last errand was to pick up my laundry.
I made it to Stake Leadership meetings associated with Stake Conference at 4:00 and 7:00 and fixed dinner for Ken and Josh Turner and myself in between the two sessions. When I sat down next to Brother Grua, I had to admit my mistake of forgetting about Personal Priesthood Interviews with both him, my Priesthood Leader, and those who report to me on Thursday. It is always humbling to admit one's mistakes. The talks were all good. I was particularly impressed with President Mike Pickerd's talk about self-reliance. He gave nine excellent guidelines:
It was interesting coming back to the house and having about a dozen kids here watching The Blues Brothers, with mostly naked women (bikini's) slithering across the stage. Paul was embarrassed with his mistake of bringing a PG-13 movie into the house. I expect he would be embarrassed based on his advise I not go see Titanic because of the nude scene (.../9844.html). As I was reading the paper Nell and Ken Turner stopped by and we talked for a while about Ken setting up a gallery in Columbus. I encouraged him to do so, and hope this advise was not a mistake.
I was tired, and didn't set my alarm. Sunday morning started with a nice wake-up call from Andrea. Paul was off to usher at Stake Conference before I was out of the shower. I went early, and not early enough to practice with the choir. Still recovering from last Sunday's mistake, a forgetful based choice that seemed to set the trend for the week. It was nice to sit by Paul. Everytime someone new came in, like Brother Rowbury, Brother Grua, Brother Keller, Brother Burgerner, Brother Feil, etc. he would jump up and run over and give them a hug and talk to them. It warmed my heart and it caused me to forget my mistakes. Then Paul sat down and started blowing his breath in front of him and said, `Isn't this wonderful. This is the first Sunday in six months I've been able to go to church and not see my breath.' When Brother Hastings came by to say hello he asked if Paul had got sick on his mission and Paul said he had the sniffles a couple of times and never lost any work time from being sick. What a wonderful blessing.
The conference talks were good. I was particularly impressed with President Jones' talk on marriage covenants and the First Presideny's Family Proclamation. As a person who has become strongly opposed to entitlements, as defined by the government's approach to welfare and hiring practices, I was particularly impressed with how President Jones stressed the sentance: `Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.' At least infidelity is not a mistake I have made. After church I had a High Priest Leadership meeting, and Sister Grua gave me soup for lunch. Since Paul wasn't home I made the mistake of eating all of it for lunch, and ended up cooking the swordfish for him and Rob and just watching them eat. After lunch I started to move some digital pictures over to the Sun and locked up the disk drive. Maybe now that I have admitted how many mistakes I can make in a week, things will start to go better. It is good to have Paul home, and it is certainly obvious to me it was not a mistake for Paul to go on a mission. His homecoming talk is on the 24th of January if any of you who are out of town are able to join us.'