cc: file, Sara and Des, Diane Cluff, Tony Hafen, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Eric and Annette Krueger, Eric and Renee Miner, Claude and Katherine Warner, Forest and Amy Warner, and Ivan and Chell Warner.
"Allergies have kept me down all week. I drove to Austin Wednesday morning early and could not believe how tired I was all day. At 5:00 I called Melanie because we were going to go out to dinner, left a message, left the Bureau at 5:15 PM, a couple of hours earlier than I usually do, checked into the LaQuinta Inn and fell asleep. I woke up when Melanie called me at 7:30 to say she had been studying and wanted to do lunch on Thursday instead of dinner. I went back to sleep, and when the alarm went off at 5:30 for my morning run, went back to sleep. Sunday I slept in, and slept after church. I slept so long, I didn't get my Thoughtlet written yesterday. Today I had an important lunch meeting and when the meeting scheduled to follow lunch got postponed, I borrowed a friend's couch and took an hour nap.
When you kids were growing up and this time of year came there were two things which invariably happened: (1) there was a big soccer tournament, which I went to and enjoyed and was thoroughly miserable at; and (2) I tried to schedule a 2-3 week trip out of town and out of the country to get away from the ragweed. There was no soccer I participated in this weekend, I mostly slept (I didn't even turn the computer on to check mail from when I got home from Austin Saturday afternoon until this morning). I was going to Venezuela this weekend, and the Bureau decided to postpone my visit until the final presentation later in October. I am going to go to Utah from Thursday until Monday. Hopefully the trip will give some relief from the ragweed.
In the meantime, I have been talking to Bob's parents about what can be done to help him out when he gets out of Harris County Jail in 36 days. Since I have never believed there can not be a solution found to a serious problem, I have been doing my normal thinking outside of the box. I remember in my first year in college reading a book called `Summerhill, a radical approach to childrearing.' I remember reading about the great Monastic and Convent Orders of the Catholic and Orthodox Churches. I remember the scientific breakthroughs in heredity which were accomplished in these places of learning. I wondered how important these orders were for providing a home for those who did not fit into society to experience life in a productive manner. I thought about Bob's Patriarchial Blessing of helping the downtrodden and realized the only way he can do this is if he is helped. I thought of a letter I had ghostwritten for his Dad last year:
As far as I know the letter was not sent. I discussed the idea with my new friend Rick, and he said he has a friend who could easliy raise the money to start such an establishment. He also said `You need to have a definite plan put together before you approach her though, so she has something to focus on.' Bob's Mom is actively exploring a variety of options, and I am acting as an advisor as she prepares a business plan for a modern-day, LDS value-based Monastery.
Sometimes, like this weekend, when Sara didn't visit nor come to church, when Melanie came to homecoming and didn't visit and didn't come to church (she did call when she got back to Austin), when I only spent 5 minutes with Rob as he was leaving church (since he didn't come and sit with me), when I missed a dinner with Ben and Sarah because I had to work Friday night at the Bureau, when I get an e-mail from Roice and respond in a concerned way and yet fear I have offended him, and when Paul sends a letter that makes me want to run to Siberia and hug him with pride, yet realizing I can't, I, myself, want to live in a Monastery. In some ways, maybe this is what the house has become for Brother Law and me. I know I certianly miss all of you, even the messes and the fighting, and I definitely miss your Mom. Oh well! I guess life goes on and we learn experience from all these things (D&C 121). A few minutes ago Rob called all upset and wanted to move back here. Who knows how it is all going to turn out. A quote from Paul's latest letter provides context:
I remember when I was a child, way out of town (5-7 miles) on the farm, I felt very, very, very isolated. Most of my school friends lived close to each other and could walk or ride their bikes to each other's houses. I was too fat and too lazy to ride my bike all of the way into town. I did ride it home one time, but never again. My bike was not like the nice 10-speed bikes we have now. However, I did learn to enjoy my own company. I learned to use my mind, to find things to do, and to explore whatever I could find. In some ways it was like growing up in a Monastery, and in many ways it has prepared me for what I find myself facing now. I certianly hope none of you will ever find yourself in this circumstance, and yet since I expect there to be more and more dissolution of even good and well intentioned families, I hope I am setting somewhat of an example as to how to endure the trials of these emotional pioneering times. In the meantime we are connected electronically. Ben and I have started playing chess again. Anyone who wants to monitor the game can go to http://www.walden3d.com/dialog/chess and Roice and Melanie, Rob and Sara, I'd be glad to take any or all of you on in another game. It could also be checkers or scrabble or something else you are interested in. Have a great week. Recognize and enjoy as many of your blessings as possible. I know I am blessed and I thank our Heavenly Father for my many, many blessings, especially each of you."