Chain Letters
Dear Family and Friends,
Welcome to this week's "Thoughtlet."
These words are my personal diary and a weekly review of ideas,
beliefs, thoughts, or words that will hopefully be of some
benefit to you: my children, my family, and my friends.
"It is a big deal to see your oldest son, firstborn, and namesake, married off (0602.html).
It's a big deal when you forget your second son's birthday, and when he tells you he is considering changing jobs and moving from L.A. to Calgary and you haven't even visited him and his family since they moved to L.A. several years and two jobs ago:
<![CDATA[`Ben,
There is something about the first of the year that turns my brain
off. Maybe it is because I realize that I'm closer to death and
haven't much progress on the things that are important to me.
Anyway, at least this year you had Yoda prior to your birthday.
I remembered your request for Calgary contacts several times this
week. In fact, in an interview with a guy named Dennis, who is from
Calgary, I mentioned it, and he said he would send you a note, and
talk to his sister about the best part of town to live in. His
comments to me, after several years in Houston, is that Calgary is a
lot like Houston. It is an oil town. The people are more friendly
than in Houston. There are some beautiful parks that have been
developed into housing that are next to National Parks (and grizzly
bears) and have beautiful views. He said you do not need to own a
car in Calgary because the mass transit is so good. And he said he
often things about moving back home.
My systems guy, Marc Roulston, is from Calgary. He has been talking
about moving back home for years. However he doesn't, I think
because the weather is so much milder and his kids can play soccer
and he likes the Katy environment. He is a good guy, and will
respond to any e-mails. Marc is at ... .
I taught and baptized John Bennett when I was on my mission. His
wife died of cancer. They have a son named Benjamin, whom, I've
never met, and who is about your age. I'm not sure who named who
after who. I picked Benjamin because of Benjamin Franklin and King
Benjamin in
the Book of Mormon. Anyway, after about 15 years of raising his
kids alone in Moosejaw, Canada, John remarried last year and moved
to Calgary. We were scheduled to spend time with them at the AAPG,
and GDC decided not to have a booth. I haven't seen John since my
mission, in 1972, and we have kept in contact and have an eternal
love, more like brothers than acquaintances. Anyway, I'm sure
John will give you an honest assessment of Calgary. He is at ... .
I have worked for several years with Keith Rawlinson. he was the
executive at Fletcher Challenge Petroleum that gave me the big
($600K) contract to build a Knowledge Backbone(SM), which kept us
from going bankrupt after HyperMedia. He moved to Calgary, and
last I talked to him he was working for Devon. He is a great guy
and a very close friend. He has seven kids, and he was a co-founder
of Walden Visualization Systems. His (now x-) wife Dixie is a
wonderful person. However, he drinks beer like a fish, and it cost
him his marriage, and possibly his job. The last contact I have
with him is ... , and I'm sure he will respond, if he is still at
this address.
My last contact is Roy A. Clark, who graduated from the University
of Utah, and has a Ph.D. He worked for Unocal originally and is
from Southern California. He has lived in Calgary for 20 years,
and is very active in the church. For years he was the High
Councilor responsible for working with gay members in the Calgary
area, and we have had a lot of discussions about what Dad's do to
cause kids to turn this way. He is a good friend, and a good man.
The last e-mail address I have for him is ... .
Hope this helps. Happy belated New Year, and I'm sorry I forgot
to call on your birthday.
Love,
Dad']]>
Ben and Sarah, it is great to hear from the two of you. I include the following e-mail to document an example of this communication, which came in on Tuesday, the 10th of January:
<![CDATA[`Dear Johnson & Nelson families --
So, I didn't send a Holiday card -- just got too lazy, I guess.
But I put up lots of pictures on our website.
If you have a few moments go to www.bn-sn.com and click on Pictures,
then Photo Gallery.
There are pictures of Ethan at Halloween (pirate), ice skating
pictures since that has become the new obsession much to Ben's
soccer dismay, family holiday pictures (yes, Ethan is in hockey
gear), our trip to Texas to visit y'all (lots of cousin pictures),
and yet more ice skating pictures. Do you see a trend here? We'll
just have to wait and see if it lasts and it shows up in next
year's holiday update.
Ethan is in Pre-K at his school in Laguna Beach and loving every
minute still, especially the recess times where he can act out
his latest hockey or dinosaur scene from his head.
Hope everyone is well and enjoying the new year.
Love,
Sarah']]>
It's a big deal when you learn your third son is called to a Bishopric in his new Ward in a new city in a new state, and you can't afford to go and participate in the setting apart. It was great to hear this news when I called on Sunday. Paul, I am very proud of how you are doing as a husband, as a father, as a priesthood holder, and as an employee. I'm sorry there are issues with your job and travel, and I'm sure it is just a small pothole on the journey of your life.
It's a big deal when you have a child, or a stepchild, whom you only talk to once or twice a year. I am pleased the phone calls seem to be more frequent, and especially pleased there is more respect being shown in those phone calls.
It's a big deal when you learn a daughter is expecting her third child. The clock on the Sun workstation is messed up, and so I don't know exactly when this e-mail came in, but it was about this time (Although one note says it might have been a week later on January 20th.). Anyway the note from Melanie reads:
<![CDATA[`Hello Everyone...
I had my ultrasound this morning and we are having a little GIRL!
We are very excited - although Colby was pretty disappointed. He
really wanted a baby brother. Just wanted to pass on the news!
Hope all is well with each of you.
Melanie & Jared']]>
It's a big deal to have a child, or a stepchild, who is so uncomfortable around us, they choose to keep their distance, both physically and emotionally.
It is a big deal to have a child, or a stepchild, who can not find a job in their chosen profession, and who I know is struggling, and yet I don't know what I can do to help.
It is a big deal to have a child, or a stepchild, who has taken the initiative to get a couple of jobs, and seems actively working to become integrated into society after spending too much time drifting.
It is a big deal to have a child, or a stepchild, who is willing to make a long-term commitment to sustain the freedoms we all take too much for granted. Matt, I am very proud of your commitment to our great country, and especially to how well you are doing as is shown by your comments when you call us.
As each of you kids already know, all is not perfect in the Nelson/Nielson clan. Oh well! However, we are all doing pretty good, and there is better communication between us and each of you than there has been at many times in the past. For the most part there is at least a phone call each Sunday. And every once in a while I do something like send out chain letters to see if I can increase the bandwidth of communication. The particular one in question came from my friend John Bennett in Calgary, Canada. The e-mail read:
<![CDATA[`I normally don't forward these things on, but there are some nice
sentiments included in it, even if Carlene and I were only engaged
for six months!
John S. Bennett
We are not mortal beings having a spiritual experience, but
spiritual beings having a mortal experience.
_____
This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have
received. Hope it works for you -- and me! You have 6 minutes
There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not
superstitious. This has been sent To you for good luck from the
Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world
ten times so Far.
Do not keep this message.
It must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very
unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious,
agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older,
their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep
all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams
don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's
the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,
smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve
great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate
steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it
in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
Now, here's the FUN part!
Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve.
1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks
15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you
ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart. Do not keep this message.'
Well, I was surprised by the responses to this chain letter. Paul was the first to reply with:
`This is easy I just did a reply all to Roice's e-mail and I have sent
it to as many people as him in less than 3 minutes. I am not stealing
your good luck am I Roice?
Paul']]>
Of course, this is the first surprise, Paul did not recognize the message came from his Dad and not his brother. Of course, this was quickly pointed out, with a response from Roice, the second surprise:
<![CDATA[`Wrong Roice Bro :) I don't do chain letters. I was freed some
10 years ago and now I will free you all as well!
Roice III
****THIS IS THE WORLD'S FINAL CHAIN-LETTER.****
You have been sent a blessing. Those who have followed the instructions
on this letter have received good fortune, as you will. The rewards of
this letter supersede the promises of all other letters you may have
received.
This is the final chain-letter you will ever send. It's instructions
are simple, to receive the fortune that has graced those who have
received this before you follow these steps.
*The grace that re-creates
1. Make nine unaltered copies of this note, and send each copy to a
friend or stranger within nine days of receiving this. This completed,
you will have received not only luck and positive karma, but you have
been PERMANENTLY released from the obligation to send another
chain-letter.
*The snake that eats its own tail.
2. Never heed another chain-letter. By sending this letter you have
already incurred the fortune promised by all future letters you will
receive.
Ignore or destroy all future chain-letters that you come in contact with.
To send another chain-letter is to break the gift given you by this
letter.
If you have already received and sent this letter, and you are receiving
it again, destroy this copy.
This letter will circle the globe, freeing its recipients from the need
to send future chain-letters, and, its task completed, will eventually
destroy itself in the same manner.
Not sending this letter curses you with ill-fortune that is the dark
mirror of the good fortune you could have received. To ignore this
letter is to receive the bad luck or ill-fortune mentioned in all
future chain letters you will receive.
Only those who follow the instructions above will receive the double
blessing of luck and freedom from all future chain-letters.
Just as sending it blessed you with the luck of all chain letters,
not sending it curses you with the misfortune. Sending another
chain letter after this one brings the same misfortune as well.
This is the world's final chain-letter.']]>
The third surprise was who was the only other person to respond. They sent the chain letter to 7 people. Guess who it was, and I'll tell you if you are right or not. It surprised me, and if anyone gets it right, I anticipate it will surprise you too! Treat this as just another ploy to attempt to increase two-way communication.
So as far as the rest of the week went, it was interesting. I worked on China maps during the day, and wrote an abstract for the EAGE in Vienna this summer. We plan to take Rachel to Europe as her graduation present. What was interesting was when I got home. We had a skunk in the chimney. I heard something in the chimney and thought the raccoons must have come back. So I opened and closed the flue a couple of times, and the next thing I knew the living room was full of a very distinctive fragrance. Yuck! Then I went into the attic, and found another rat in one of the traps up there. And all of this occurred around watching Commander-in-Chief, the new Hollywood attempt to set up a political campaign for Hillary Clinton. And I admit, this is one of the better TV dramas I've seen, and it sucked me into the plot and the family dynamics.
Wednesday morning I woke up to a very realistic dream. I had a dream I was standing on the contours of Red Cove, the project I have been working on at night in front of the computer (0604.html). There was a giant earthquake. Maybe this dream was to get me to quit thinking about this project, and maybe it was to make sure we take into account earthquake issues.
When I got to work Dave Johnson came into my office for what has become our regular morning discussion. We got talking about my initial interest in China, and I just laid all of what had happened out on the table. It could have backfired on me, and thankfully it didn't. I told him about the talk President Kimball gave to the Regional Representatives, where he challenged that there be many more missionaries. This was the talk where he challenged the leaders to take the church to the entire world, and specifically mentioned China. It was before the iron curtain came down, and before the thousands of converts who have joined the church in Nigeria, Ghana, and other West African countries. And it was well before there was any church presence in China. I told him how I felt I had a personal call from the Lord to work in China and India, and how because of this feeling, I had taken the initiative to teach courses, go to seminars, and visit both places. And I told him how I had been drawn back to China again and again, and how I feel like it is in some way helping to lay the groundwork for the establishment of the Lord's church in China. Dave has a good spirit, and he was accepting of what I shared. I think I also warned him, as an evangelical Christian who has a similar agenda to what I described, not to push religion in China, but that my conclusion is that it will come when the Lord wants it to come.
Somewhere in the conversation, he was prompted to point me to a scripture with special meaning for him, and which he felt relates to me and what I was saying. It is Romans 8:28 and says:
<![CDATA[`And we know that all things work together for good to them that
love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.']]>
I have come to thoroughly enjoy the conversations with Dave first thing in the morning.
On Thursday we got new phones at GDC. I have a new direct number into my office: 713.840.3339. I don't remember what else I was busy with, and, as mentioned above, I was busy enough I forgot to call Ben on his birthday again this year. Oh Well! I called on Saturday and sang Happy Birthday to his answering machine. Again, Oh Well!
The week kind of ended for me like it started. Instead of learning that Paul was called to the Bishopric, on Sunday Sister Steward asked me at church: `Was Paul called as the Bishop?' I was surprised by the question. In a way I'm not sure how to explain, the question reminded me of this week's chain letters."
Since the 38th week of 1996 I have written a weekly "Thoughtlet"
(little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me).
Until the 43rd week of 2004 I sent these out as an e-mail. They
were intended to be big thoughts which mean a lot to me.
Over time the process evolved into a personal diary. These notes
were shared with my family because I know how important the
written word can be. Concerned about how easy it is to drift and
forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of
daily life, I thought this was a good way to reach those I love.
It no longer feels right to send out an e-mail and "force" my kids
and my family to be aware of my life and struggles.
Everyone has their own life to lead, and their own struggles to
work through. I will continue this effort, and will continue to
make my notes publicly accessible (unless I learn of
misuse by someone who finds out about them, and then will
aggressively
pursue a legal remedy to copyright infringement and I will put the Thoughtlets
behind a password).
The index to download any of these Thoughtlets is at
http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets,
or you can e-mail me with
questions or requests at
rnelson@walden3d.com
(note if you are not on my e-mail "whitelist" you must send 2 e-mails
within 24 hours of each other in order for your e-mail to not be trashed).
With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)