02 Jul 2005 #0527.html

Empty Nest

. . .

Dear Family and Friends,

Welcome to this week's "Thoughtlet."

These words are my personal diary and a weekly review of ideas, beliefs, thoughts, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you: my children, my family, and my friends.

"This week was the two week anniversary of Matt leaving for Cedar City (0525.html). It was also about when it started to hit home that Andrea and I now have an empty nest. And although it wasn't until Friday we went to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith, it seems appropriate to start this Thoughtlet with my recollection of the opening scene of that movie:

`Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were sitting on a couch talking to a marriage counselor. His first question was `How long have you been married.' Mr. Smith responded, `Five or six years.' Mrs. Smith jumped in with `It was six years in May.' Every time one person would say something, the other would contradict them, and the way it was set up, with the nervous interactions between Mr. and Mrs. Smith, this was one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen of just plain movie dialog. It was pretty obvious Mr. and Mrs. Smith were playing the part very well of having an empty nest.'

Sunday the 26th of June, Andrea and I missed sacrament meeting to go to a wedding. Preston Jurinak, who was in Matt's High School Class and Priest Quorum, married his expectant girlfriend. Judge Bill Yoeman conducted the wedding. I made notes of a few of the Judge's comments. After he asked Preston if he took his bride to be his wife, and Preston answered `Yes' the Judge said `Good Answer.' The Judge also referred to `your swollen ring finger,' and at the end said `you may share the lipstick.' After it was over he turned to the audience and said `You may mingle.' It was an outside wedding, in Katy, in the shade of big oak trees. The service was nice, the people all seemed very nice, and Jeff and Paula Jurinack seemed a little shocked to find themselves with an empty nest so soon after High School graduation.

Sunday evening I called Paul, only to learn that he had left his nest to go back to Provo to work on his Thesis and to help pack up the house. When he left for Provo, Ella Dawn was just starting to crawl. When he returned, she was crawling everywhere. Before you think it is possible, Paul and Kate, you will find yourselves with an empty nest. Enjoy the kids while they are still there, and especially before they turn into teenagers.

The Tiles work was all consuming at GDC. It was / is getting so I look forward to when they are all done. Monday evening I went to the airport to pick up Frank (Guozhu Yu) from China. We missed each other at the airport, and it was almost 11:30 when I got back home from dropping him off at his hotel. Oh well!

Tuesday I received the following e-mail from Melanie:

'Date: Tue, 28 Jun 2005 12:48:48 -0700 (PDT) From: 'Melanie Wright' Subject: China To: 'Roice Nelson' Hi dad, Jared and I finally went to get a passport today for Jared, but we did not realize that it cost $100 to get one. As much as we want to go to China with you, our lives are too unsettled right now to feel like we can leave our children and justify spending money. Maybe you will begin making trips to China again later on and we will be in a better position. I'm sorry, but I hope you have fun with Rachel and Andrea! Love, Melanie'

I responded on Wednesday:

`Date: Wed, 29 Jun 2005 19:02:33 -0500 (CDT) From: 'Roice Nelson' Subject: Re: China To: 'Melanie Wright' Melanie, Thanks for your note. GDC is sending Mike Dunn to China on the 10th, which means I won't go until early August, if I go back for them. I do have very good friends in China, and hopefully there will be a lot of opportunities to visit there over the coming decades. Hopefully FSI will come through and we will all have enough money to do fun things like take a trip together. Love, Dad'

Wednesday Andrea was going to go to Austin to see Audrey, who was scheduled to spend the night there. However, Audrey got sick and ended up staying home and missing this flight. On Thursday Audrey did send some pictures of a tornado that Joshua took some photos of in Duschane County. When I later talked to Joshua, it sounds like he was way to close to this storm for comfort. Oh well! He wasn't hurt, and the photos are great. I have included the scariest one, to symbolize what it is like to live in an empty nest that is being redone. I think I'm busy at work, and then I come home and see all of the things Andrea has done to refinish the living room, and to refinish our bedroom and now she is making a quilt for Roice and Sarah. We will certainly have a refinished empty nest.

Thursday we met Paul at the Houston Temple. Both cars arrived at the same time. Paul was in Clear Lake City, doing some contract software work for Boeing, and we came from Katy. We were almost half an hour early for the 7:00 session, and so we went in the chapel and pulled out the scriptures. I flipped open to I Samuel 6:7, where it refers to `milch kine' (German for milk cows), and started to read. I read about the ark of the Lord being taken and hidden, staying at one place for 20 years, and of the Prophet Samuel exhorting Israel to repent. Then I read about Samuel's sons taking bribes and about the evils of kingly rule. Next was the story of Saul, a Benjamite, who was sent by his father to find some lost asses, and how he came to the place where the seer was, and how Samuel recognized him as the one the Lord had told him would come `on the morrow.' Then how Samuel poured oil on his head, anointed him to be a captain, and prophesied how he would find two men by Rachel's sepulcher after he left, how they would tell him that the asses which he sought are found, how he would meet three men with bread, and wine (the sacrament), which they would give to him. And how he would meet a company of prophets, and how he would be overcome with the spirit of prophesy, after which he would go to Gigal to meet Samuel who would tell him what he should do. And I Samuel 10:9 says

`And it was so, that when he had turned his back to go from Samuel, God gave him another heart: and all those signs came to pass that day.'

And as I was finishing this, they called us to go into the Endowment Session. I spent the next hour and a half contemplating signs, and the feelings that I have been having that there is going to be big changes in our life associated with our new empty nest. The thing that was striking to me, was Samuel was not looking for a sign, he was looking for his Father's donkey's, and when he was told the signs would come, and then when they did happen as prophesied, it was simply a confirming witness. He was given an opportunity to take the sacrament and to remember the Lord, and he was called as Israel's first King.

And as I contemplate the feelings I have had, specifically that there are big changes coming up in my life, and that the chess pieces are lining up, much as they did at the time of my first six year anniversary (0520.html), it was comforting to know that I have not looked for a sign. And yet I recognize how turning to this scripture in the temple, with my son on one side and my wife on the other, was a sign, like the signs given to Saul by Samuel, a message that the Lord chooses who he wants, when he wants, and how he wants, and then it is up to those who are called to perform. Hopefully I will handle the responsibilities the Lord sees fit to give me better than Saul did at the end of his life, when he was so busy trying to keep power by attempting to kill David, whom the Lord called to continue on his work.

It was really neat to be walking down the hall by the sealing rooms and to have Sister Stewart see Paul and give him a hug. Then when we came out of the Celestial Room, there was President Steward, and we talked for quite a while. The most memorable part of the conversation was when Paul turned to President Steward and said, `Your getting shorter.' We went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner after the temple. Paul is a lot of fun, and his stories about his work and other things are great. Hopefully Paul, you will write them down while you remember them. Then again, maybe if you don't write them down they will just get bigger and bigger and more and more fun.

On Friday, Albert Boulanger forwarded this to me:

'My favorite Google app, Keyhole, is now renamed to Google Earth and is available for free to everyone at'

http://earth.google.com.

`New York coverage is good, especially with buildings turned on. Hold down the middle mouse button to tilt and rotate. I know we were going to use some of the imagery for the 3G presentations. Now you guys can generate them yourselves. Plus, it's hours of educational entertainment. Check out the Grand Canyon, Forbidden City in Beijing, etc. And all integrated with Google local search, lots of street maps, etc. -- Phil'

This is really neat stuff, and I encourage all of you with a computer or kids to download this and play with it. Whomever Albert's friend Phil is also pointed to some other resources:
http://earth.google.com/faq.html http://google.blognewschannel.com/index.php/archives/2005/06/28/google-earth-lunching-for-free and http://searchenginewatch.com/searchday/article.php/3516001.

Friday I sent an e-mail to Brady Brown (0525.html) and Sam LeRoy stating that I have not heard anything back from Rick Zimmerman. Oh well! Good exploration opportunities, and it seems impossible for me to get anyone to move on them. Oh well!

I stopped by Randall's on the way home and purchased a dozen pretty roses for Andrea, which I do most Friday evenings. I thought it would be especially nice this week to help adorn our empty nest. Andrea likes to have the bottom of the roses cut off before they are put in a vase, so they better absorb the water and last longer. I guess I'm lazy. Anyway, I put the roses on the cutting board and started to cut all of the stems at one time with one of our new extra sharp Cutco knives (../0427.html). The roses caught the knife in a bind, it jumped, and I found myself with a cut on my left index finger to the bone. Oh well! It didn't look as bad as when I fell on my finger and popped it out of the socket (../9842.html), and probably wasn't as bad as when I ran the hedger down the end of the same finger (../0017.html) and had five stitches put in it, or even the time I was carving on the ebony and the knife slipped and I ended up at the Emergency Room with three stitches in the same finger (../0302.html). Andrea laughs. Of the four trips to the emergency room since we have been married, three of them have been for knife cuts on my left hand. Oh well! On the bright side, my nurse was someone who graduated with Sara Ellyn, someone named Claire Mesaziros. She was very nice and very professional. Even if the tetanus shot she gave me got quite swollen and hurt for the next week.

We were going to go to a movie, and ended up going to a late movie. There were three movies I was interested in seeing: War of the Worlds, Bewitched, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. And kind of in that order. Turns out we went to Mr. & Mrs. Smith late on Friday, War of the Worlds on Saturday afternoon, and Bewitched on Monday, July 4th. And I liked Mr. & Mrs. Smith better than any of the three movies, even though it has a despicable plot based around the couple being hired assassins. As we were walking into the movie we saw Doug and Brenda Bingham, who asked what movie we were going to. Brenda is a seminary teacher, and her reaction was disapproval. Doug made a comment about how much butter there was on my small popcorn, which I'm not suppose to be eating. Oh well! The funny thing is that the `murders' in Mr. & Mrs. Smith were all off screen, and only talked about. There were fights with law enforcement with people falling left and right, and it was less violent than a Indiana Jones movie. However, when we went to Bewitched, there was the lead actor, Will Farrell, jumping around on a movie set with no clothes on and pixelation of his private parts. And the surprise to me was the message in Mr. & Mrs. Smith. The message was that if a couple works together, no matter what the odds, they can overcome all problems. Even if there are big differences between them, like he can't remember if they have been married 5 or 6 years, and she remembers they have been married 6 years, 2 months, and 9 days. I guess they did get cut up a lot worse than having a tornado hit the inside of the house, or cutting an index finger when trimming roses, and so I shouldn't try to justify going to a less than spiritual movie. Oh well!

Regarding War of the Worlds, it seemed like a cheap scary movie, and I don't care for scary movies. The story was close to the book and the original, just placed in our time. The special effects were neat. All in all it is an OK movie, and no where close to a great movie. Maybe I've just seen too many of this type of movie over the last decade.

Sunday was Fast and Testimony Meeting, and Andrea got up for maybe the third time since moving here. I wrote a possible stanza for Prime Words from her comments:

`I believe in divine positioning The Lord will place us Where we can be serving And building his kingdom'

I found this very interesting, especially when combined with the destiny feelings I have been having lately. Time will tell if there is something else which is going to take up our time now that we have an empty nest."

Since the 38th week of 1996 I have written a weekly "Thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me). Until the 43rd week of 2004 I sent these out as an e-mail. They were intended to be big thoughts which mean a lot to me. Over time the process evolved into a personal diary. These notes were shared with my family because I know how important the written word can be. Concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life, I thought this was a good way to reach those I love. It no longer feels right to send out an e-mail and "force" my kids and my family to be aware of my life and struggles. Everyone has their own life to lead, and their own struggles to work through. I will continue this effort, and will continue to make my notes publicly accessible (unless I learn of misuse by someone who finds out about them, and then will aggressively pursue a legal remedy to copyright infringement and I will put the Thoughtlets behind a password). The index to download any of these Thoughtlets is at http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets, or you can e-mail me with questions or requests at rnelson@walden3d.com (note if you are not on my e-mail "whitelist" you must send 2 e-mails within 24 hours of each other in order for your e-mail to not be trashed).

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

. . .

Copyright © 2005 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.