cc: file, Andrea, Tony Hafen, Sara and Des Penny, & Maxine Shirts
"This last weekend was General Conference. I choose my theme for the week from the Saturday night Priesthood Session of General Conference, even though it was last week. Partly I am writing about this since Matt missed Priesthood Session because he had a Taylor High School football game. President Gordon B. Hinkley, whom I sustain as a prophet, spent his time talking about pornography. Even before the prophet's talk, I considered this a serious issue. Certainly it is something I want to warn you kids about. All 12 of you, including Bridget and Brian, have good reason to be concerned about genetic predisposition to addictions. Pornography is an addiction as serious as, and possibly more serious than, alcoholism or drug addiction. I could go out to the Internet and copy President Hinkley's talk. However, I will just quote from my notes, and those that have interest can go check how close my notes are to what was actually said. The `quoted phrases' below are quotes from President Hinkley.
He started out stating this was the largest Priesthood Meeting ever held, and that it is certainly much different from when Elder Woodruf wrote about all of the priesthood meeting in one room in Kirtland, Ohio. Then he said he regretted the need to speak on a topic which is not new, a topic which was a problem when last talked about and is much more of a problem now. He was speaking of pornography.
He quoted a letter from a lady whose husband was addicted to pornography. `What a pathetic and tragic story.' Pornography is devilish. It is totally inconsistent with the gospel. It is compounded by the Internet. $12 billion of the $57 billion worldwide market is in the United States. 20% of men and 13% of women access pornographic work. Sex is the number one topic searched for on the Internet. Minds become wrapped up with false concepts.
If there is a storm we can dress right and be protected. We can retreat to the shelter of the Gospel. `Brethern, we can do better than this!' The high road of decency is the proper road. Can you imagine John the Baptist or Peter, James, or John participating in such a thing. `I repeat, we can do better than this. It is amen to the priesthood to seek out any pornographic material. Seek guidance of a Bishop or his councilors. We must avoid pornography, or these lusts shall continue with us through life and into eternity.
Unto the wicked Jesus did not go. `I am by nature optimistic. In matters such as this, I am a realist. Let virtue garnish your soul unceasingly, and then the priesthood comes like the dew and flows forever and ever. How wonderful are the ways of the lord. If we do right, He shall reveal himself to us. The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven. How beautiful is the life patterned after Christ.'
Then when I came home the TV was on BYU-TV, because Andrea had been preparing some seminary classes. There was a special about pornography. Phenomenal information. I learned that it is a person of low self-esteem that turns to pornography for self-fulfillment. I thought of all of the mistakes I have made in raising you kids, and how low self-esteem seems to be endemic. I listened to the professor talk about the destructive nature of shame and blame, and heard the counselors I went to, like Nancy White, telling me that I have a major problem with shame and blame motivational approaches, and how these are not motivational approaches at all.
The bottom line is that I heard the Prophet describe what a serious issue pornography is in the world, and, by inference from his talk, in the church today. I also realized how much science has learned about the causes and the cures to pornographic addiction. There is very good educational tools available to help kick this habit. If there are any of you who have an issue with pornography, repent. Recognize it is an issue. Stop participating. Get rid of all pornographic material, and do not let any more come in through your eyes or ears. Talk to your Bishop. He won't tell anyone. If you can trust me, talk to me. Let me help you get the help you need. Neither your Bishop nor I are going to tell anyone of your struggle. Think of Ethan, or Grant, or Colby, or Taylor, or Ella walking in on you as you indulge in such activities. There is no justification for continuing something once you know it is wrong.
When I was growing up, one of the Priests in the Cedar Third Ward cleaned the Hotel El Escalante, which was a dorm for students at CSU (College of Southern Utah, now SUU, Southern Utah University). Harold provided all of us with pin-up centerfold posters from Playboy Magazine. I hid mine in my underwear drawer. My Mom discovered them when putting laundry away, and proceeded to embarrass me to death in front of her friends. I knew it was wrong.
Then when I went to the Annual Junior Hereford Association Convention in Kansas City, Missouri with Uncle Glenn, when I was a Junior in High School, I was taken by a group of boys I was with to a porno theater. I felt sick about it, and have always regretted having gone along with that group of boys.
My first summer working for Pan American in Denver, a group of summer students got together and went into a porno shop and bought photos to send through the company mail to our bosses. I was involved in the planning, but after walking into the shop I turned and walked out and regret to this day that I had anything to do with this.
I've never been interested in going to `R-rated' movies, and learned to avoid the newspaper porn when on my mission. So thankfully, other than the three mistakes described above, pornography has not been an issue in my life. However, with all of the garbage flouted out there today, and with such a strong warning from the Prophet, I fear that some of you will face or are facing this trial, and I am not doing my job as a Dad (and as a Step-Dad) if I do not issue a clarion warning call about the addictive dangers of participating in any way with this type of material. So if you are participating stop, and take the stops to make sure it is never a problem the rest of your life. If you are not involved, great, and don't let yourself be involved in any way. The spiritual and physical risks are too great!
My week was very, very, very busy getting ready for the SEG in Denver. This was the first booth GDC had had in 21 years at the SEG, even though Fred Hilterman was the President of the SEG a few years ago. Both Monday and Tuesday morning I was at University of Houston to meet with Fred Hilterman about getting the agreement signed between GDC and Red Devil Software, his son-in-law's software company. We ended up going to the SEG without a contract for the software we were demonstrating. Fred can be very frustrating.
On Tuesday morning, Tommy Piltary, Will Gray, and Joe Roberts came to the office to talk about the work Velocity DataBank has done with Unocal. It was an interesting meeting, and resulted in me calling John Howell and catching up with what he was doing. However, most of my effort during the week was tied to preparing my presentation for the Visualization Theater at the SEG in Denver. Wednesday and Thursday I went to dGB's offices in Sugar Land at 8:00 AM and then to Magic Earth at 10:00 AM. I was back at Magic Earth on Friday afternoon. The demos turned out really neat, at least in practice.
Early Saturday morning Andrea and I flew to Denver for the SEG on Frontier Airlines. We arrived in Denver as the sun was coming up at about 8:00 AM. We spent the morning at the convention working with the Visualization Theater people. Then we checked into the hotel, and walked over to 16th street to find someplace to eat. Mike Forest was at the hotel we were at and we talked to him several times. Saturday evening Andrea's missionary companion, Sharon Baer, who lives 30 miles away in Westminster, and her husband Ron came into town and we all went to an Italian restaurant off of 16th street for a wonderful evening of food and talking. Good people, and even though I don't remember the conversations, I remember the good spirit that was with us as we talked and told stories and enjoyed each other's company.
Sunday we went to church with the Baer's. On the way to the Hidden Lake Ward in Westminster, Colorado we listened to some CES (Church Education System) audio tapes. I wrote the following stanzas for Prime Words while driving:
Then at the Hidden Lake Ward I wrote the following stanza
during sacrament meeting:
The Sunday School lesson was particularly good. The same
teacher taught High Priest Quorum. He is a seminary
teacher, and so it is easy to see why he does such a
good job teaching. One of his examples was to have us
each bring to mind what sign of the Second Coming we now
ignore. His was that the gospel would be taught in
Russia. And as he looks back he realizes he was the
seminary teacher that taught the first two missionaries
sent into Russia. He said he expects most members of
the church will not worry about the Second Coming until
there are two prophets teaching in the streets of Israel.
In Priesthood meeting they needed a volunteer to drive the missionaries to a Spanish Branch meeting in Boulder. I volunteered, since we did not need to be back down to the convention center until evening, and since the fall colors were so beautiful. One of the missionaries was from Chile, and the other one was from California. The Californian was studying organ. We had a very interesting conversation on the way there. It turns out that my friend Jeff Winston (../9931.html, ../9935.html, ../9936.html, ../9937.html, ../9949.html, ../0124.html, ../0249.html, and ../0324.html) had assigned himself to be a Spanish Branch Missionary after being released as Bishop. He was in the meeting, and in fact he was the first speaker. He has taught himself to speak Spanish, and everyone seemed very impressed with his talk. After the meeting, the missionary from California asked me about oil supply and global warming, because the topic had been brought up in the second talk. I gave him a five minute tutorial, telling him is studying organ was more important, but that if he wanted a wonderful career he should look at the oil industry. It will be interesting to see if I write about this conversation from a different point of view some day.
As we left, I picked up a flyer about a Fireside on Physical Evidences of the Book of Mormon: Cake for Believers; Part I: Old World; Part II: New World. Andrea really does not like going to the Ice Breaker on Sunday evening at the SEG. I told her I would rather go to the first of these talks than the Ice Breaker. She agreed. However, our hotel was being paid for by GDC, and they expected me to be there smoozing with customers. So we drove back to Denver through the beautiful fall leaves between Boulder and Denver. We got all dressed up and walked over to the convention center.
When we got to the booth, we were greeted by Pamela West, GDC's newest sales person (0424.html, 0426.html, 0432.html, and 0435.html). Her dress was certainly revealing, and there is a lot to reveal. She walked up to Andrea and said, `What do you do?' Andrea started to answer, stopped, and told her she is my wife. Later she told me she started to say, `I do Roice.' I thought this was very funny. The entire circumstance points to the power in our lives of pornography."