The Little Prince
Dear Paul and Kate, Melanie and Jared, Bridget and Justin, Sara, Ben and Sarah, Heather, Audrey, Rachel, and Matt via hardcopy,
cc: file, Andrea, Tony Hafen, Sara and Des Penny,
& Maxine Shirts
Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea,
belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit
to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended
family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail
box at any time.
"Tuesday, 13 April 2004, the following article was in The
Houston Chronicle:
`Burden of legend is lifted from 'Little Prince
For nearly 60 years the legend of Antoine de Saint-Exupery,
the aviator and author of The Little Prince, has largely
eclipsed the life. More substantial and more valuable things
have gone missing - Atlantis, the Holy Grail, 18 1/2 minutes
of a White House tape - but few have generated the romance
enduringly attached to the writer who, borrowing a trick
from his best-known creation, neatly vanished into thin air.
At 8:45 a.m. on July 31, 1944, Saint-Exupery took off from
Corsica for a reconnaissance mission over occupied France.
He was due back at 12:30 p.m. but did not return. At 1 p.m.
his commanding officer began biting his nails; at 3:30
Saint-Exupery was officially reported missing. In April 1945,
a funeral Mass was finally held for him.
He never exactly died, however, On reading of his disappearance,
Anne Morrow Lindbergh put her finger on the special ache it
caused. There is a terrible difference, wrote a woman supremely
qualified to know, between "lost and dead." There is also a
not-so-secret recipe for what becomes a legend.
Increasingly we live in a world in which objects cannot disappear
from view, and last week wreckage from an aircraft hauled up from
the Mediterranean was positively identified as Saint-Exupery's.
It had been clear for some time that the Lockheed P-38 was
probably a few miles off the coast of Marseilles, where in 1988
a local fisherman plucked the pilot's silver identity bracelet
from his net. The discovery resolves one mystery about
Saint-Exupery's end: He was - by no means a given - where he
was supposed to be. His instructions that day would have taken
him over Lyon, and it was evidently on the return to Corsica
that his P-38 dove vertically, at high speed, into the ocean.
The question of why the plane crashed is unlikely to be resolved
by the scattered debris; that it crashed could not be said to
have been unexpected. Saint-Exupery was his squadron's record-
holder of near-disasters. having waged a campaign to talk his
way back into active service, he was piloting a plane into which
he did not fit and which he could not comfortably fly. He was
unable to communicate with the control tower in English. The
operation of hydraulic brakes defied him. Routinely, he confused
feet and meters.
The French pilots in Corsica knew Saint-Exupery as a prize-
winning author and a pioneer of aviation. The Americans knew
him only as an outsized, overage, under trained wreck of a man,
one who only eight weeks into his time with them mangled an
$80,000 aircraft. For that mishap he was unceremoniously
grounded. He begged for leniency; he was, he protested,
willing to die for his country. "I don't give a damn if you
die for France or not," Col. Leo Gray informed Saint-Exupery,
"but you're not going to do so in one of our airplanes.' It
was a case of one national treasure against another.
It was also a case in which Saint-Exupery got his way. He had
long outlived the era in which he felt comfortable; he could
imagine himself nowhere but in the cockpit of a plane. He had
all his life dreamed of escape, pined for broader horizons,
threatened to change planets. More and more he felt alienated
from his own countrymen, whose infighting he had criticized;
fiercely anti-Nazi, he supported neither de Gaulle nor the
communists. He predicted that liberation would not put France
out of its misery. "Many people," he warned in 1944, "are going
to be shot next year." In a particularly bleak mood he imagined
himself to be one of them.
From his personal frustrations and his inability to make his
political positions understood came The Little Prince, the
modest volume under which has swelled a grassy knoll of
literature. Published in 1943 but a best-seller only later,
the text read eerily as a death foretold, its mystique enhanced
by the parallel between author and subject: Imperious innocents
whose lives consist of equal parts flight and failed love, who
fall to Earth, are little impressed with what they find here
and ultimately disappear without a trace.
Naturally it is easier to predict your own death if you are
willing to commit suicide, and for those inclined to such
readings there is the mystical matter of the sunsets. The
little prince lives on a planet so mall that he is able to
watch the sun set precisely 44 times a day - case-clinchingly,
the age of Saint-Exupery at his death. (For some inexplicable
reason, the prince witnesses 44 sunsets only in the English
translation. In the original, he watches 43.) That
Saint-Exupery had no desire to go on living was clear; that
he meant to kill himself is not.
With the discovery of his aircraft, however, that theory has
been dredged up again in the French news media. It has been
to protect him fro the indignity of that charge - and to
sustain a valuable myth - that Saint-Exupery's family has
long opposed all searches for his aircraft. Presumably too
they would prefer to avoid appropriating statements like that
offered up by the mayor of Marseilles. He greeted the news
with the pronouncement that "Saint-Exupery's disappearance
has become the symbol of the resistance and the liberation of
Provence." Saint-Exupery's fate remains constant. It seems
the myth will always be cultivated at the expense of the man.
What does change is the Little Prince, restored at last to
what it was in its author's lifetime: a work of fiction. It
has long carried a heavy load, more than any book should have
to; no one ever expected P.L. Travers to be carried off by the
west wind. Saint-Exupery's fairy tale is free again to tangle
not with its author's enigma, but with the mysteries that so
befuddled him: It is lonely among men; language remains the
source of misunderstandings; more than ever, we rush around
recklessly, recklessly uncertain of what we're looking for.
It may be more difficult to lose an aircraft in the
Mediterranean than once it was, but some riddles endure.
As do a few truths about Saint-Exupery's end. His was a noble
death, made in the name of the greater good to which all of
his literature returns. As his widow noted, the exit was
custom-made, a meteoric fall at the end of a star-chasing life.
(It was also an advantageous death. The French author who dies
for France finds his copyrights extended for 30 years beyond
the norm.)
The end shows every sign as well of having been the one
Saint-Exupery wanted. In the 1930s he was asked if, given
an already impressive catalog of close calls, he had come to
prefer one death to another. Stipulating that is answer was
not for publication until he was "truly dead," he opted for
water. "You don't feel yourself dying," he reported, on
uncomfortably good authority. "You feel simply as if you're
falling asleep and beginning to dream." And there, surely,
we can leave him.'
I expect each of you have read The Little Prince. If not, I
encourage you to read it. In fact, I encourage you to read
it again now. It is a short book, and as you read it, I want
to encourage you to think of me as The Little Prince (some of
the psychologists I have visited with have pointed out that I
was my mother's Little Prince), and you as the rose. Yes we
all have thorns. And more importantly in my analogy, The
Little Prince loved his rose, and I love each of you, for you
are each a very special and very beautiful rose to me. Yes
Paul, every your great big hunk is as a beautiful rose to me.
I do hope this comes across in my Thoughtlets. And that you
don't just see the thorns I point out too often, and don't
just personalize things I write which can be taken negatively.
I received a couple of nice notes about my Travel Thoughtlet,
which I feel are appropriate to pass on. At 14:51 on April
14th Melanie wrote:
`Hey Dad,
Just a few things...
I was surprised to hear that we did not go to church when you
were traveling when we were younger. I do not remember this
at all.
Also, I wanted to apologize for contributing to your embarrassment
for counting your swallows. It was never my intention to hurt
your feelings or make you embarrassed of what you are trying to do
when I have made light of your efforts. A part of the humor I
have observed in Jared's family (& I guess picked up myself) is...
they make light of different 'quirky' behavior that different ones
may have. What they all understand is that this behavior is
what makes them uniquely them. It is not something to be ashamed
of or something any of them try to change. I guess that is what
we started doing with your swallows. I am actually very very
impressed with the consistency I see in your life. I believe
consistency is one of the greatest attributes a person can have,
especially when it comes to raising children. Its something I
struggle with because I feel like I inherited mom's moodiness &
more bipolar (inconsistent) behavior. I'm proud of you for making
up your mind on something & sticking with it. When I joked about
counting swallows, I guess it roots down to the fact I couldn't do
it myself. I'm sorry that I wasn't more aware of what I was doing.
Finally, I just wanted to let you know Jared & my thoughts about
traveling. I guess we recognize that we will never have an
opportunity to travel to most of the places you are talking about
going in our lifetime (unless we were called on a foreign mission
when we are older). We also know that it is unlikely that we will
have the opportunity to spend that kind of time with you under
normal circumstances. I had such a wonderful experience going to
London & Scotland with you & it is something Jared & I would really
love to consider. It wouldn't be hard for us to get a babysitter
for Colby (especially during the summer... but even during the
school year wouldn't be hard). If we were to travel in the next
year the baby would have to come with us because she is nursing.
The positive side to that is her plane ticket is free. The
negative side is you can never be sure how she will do on a plane
ride - especially an international flight. We never had problems
when Colby was a baby on a plane, but his longest trip was probably
3 hours. We did take him on a 13 hour car ride one time & it wasn't
too bad. As far as Jared's work - he has flexibility & vacation
time. His busy seasons are usually May, Thanksgiving, & Christmas.
Anyway, let me know what you think.
I'm glad that your trip went so well, despite all the negative
sides of travel!
I love you,
Mel'
At 14:57 on April 14th Audrey wrote:
`Roice,
Just a quick note, in lieu of your thoughlet and travel, I would
just like to say thank you for the experience of a lifetime that
you have given me to travel this past summer to London!!! You
and mom are the best!! Grandma Shirts mentioned I ought to keep
some sort of a journal documenting the places that I have been.
In the short 3 weeks that I have been a flight attendant I have
traveled to :
-San Francisco, California (First trip by myself)
-Great Falls, Montana
-Denver, Colorado
-Colorado Springs, Colorado
-Palm Springs, California (4 Day trip Overnight)
-Los Angeles, California
-Las Vegas, Nevada
-Santa Maria, California
-Jackson Hole, Wyoming (Overnight)
-Kalispell, Montana
-Sun Valley, Idaho
-St. George, Utah
-Tucson, Arizona (5 day trip Overnight)
-Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas
-Phoenix, Arizona (Overnight)
-San Diego, California
-Santa Barbara, California (Overnight)
-Monterey, California (2 day trip Overnight)
-Ontario, California
I have already been to so many places that I would normally not
have the opportunity to travel and see. Some of these places I
did not get the opportunity to see anything but the airport,
however, others like Palm Springs, Monterey Jackson Hole and
San Francisco I was able to see the Monterey Bay Aquarium,
Golden Gate Bridge, Snowboarding in Jackson Hole, Swimming in
Palm Springs, etc. And I get paid to do this!!! This is
already an amazing job that I feel so grateful to have.
Also, I am also grateful that because of my job, you and mom get
to travel for free because you are my parents. I guess that's
one of the perks of being a parent?!! The other kids also benefit
because of the fact that I get 24 buddy passes a year will help
with bringing our family together for reunions and such. Anyways,
thanks for all you do, your the best!!!!!
love always
audrey'
For what it is worth, these kind of notes mean a lot to me.
Thanks. Folks usually give what they like to receive. I
have had such bad experiences on the phone and in attempting
to have conversations about emotional things and feelings,
that I have reverted to using a keyboard to express my thoughts
and feelings. It is safer, someone can not attack and blind side
me because I don't think as quick as they do. It means a lot
to receive e-mails like Melanie and Audrey sent, to be able
to respond to them, and then to be able to reread them and to
think about them when I go on a run or have to spend an hour
in the car commuting to and from work. When I am alone with
my thoughts, I truly am The Little Prince.
My week was busy and interesting. Sunday, April 11th, I wrote
a possible Prime Words stanza based comment (a) Bill McPherson
and (b) Don Keller in High Priest Quorum:
`Unless we share our testimony
We never hear it(a)
We never meet our obligation(b)
A personal witness of Christ's merit'
Monday I wrote another possible stanza from a quote from
(a) John Skelly, former CEO of Apple, based on a tape I was
listening to during the commute:
`Simplicity is the
Ultimate sophistication(a)
Staying too busy
Seldom leads to a vacation'
Tuesday morning there was a meeting with Fred Hilterman about
the definition of Class I, Class II, and Class III AVOs
(Amplitude Verses Offset, a technical direct hydrocarbon
indicator from prestack seismic data). Tuesday afternoon
we had the meeting with two representatives from the BGP
(Bureau of Geophysical Prospecting). Really interesting. I
won't go into detail on all of the business discussions here,
because this is rapidly becoming of a business proprietary
nature for GDC (Geophysical Development Corporation). When
we are together ask me. These are not emotional things, and
I have no problem talking about them at more length than you
probably ever will want to know. I wrote another possible
stanza, about a concept which I wish all U.S. business would
apply, from a quote from (a) Sinegal, President of Cosco:
`We're not going to do
Something for one quarter
That destroys the fabric
Of our company'
Wednesday was the big Spotfire meeting at GDC. In typical
bureaucratic style, a decision was put on hold for two weeks
and Spotfire agreed to extend my evaluation license for
another two weeks. Oh well! There was a very good quote
on one of the tapes I was listening to on the commute from
Ralph Waldo Emmerson's essay on Self Reliance, and referring
to one of the themes from The Little Prince, which I turned
into a couple of possible stanzas for Prime Words:
`It is easy in the world
To live after the world's opinion
It is easy in solitude
To live after our own
But the great man is he
Who in the midst of the crowd
Keeps with perfect sweetness
The independence of solitude'
Thursday was a very busy day, writing a report on the China
trip, building a chart showing the organizational relationships
of the different groups we talked to in China, and I am getting
involved in more and more meetings. You can not get any work
done when you are sitting in a meeting. Oh well! I did write
down the GDC vacation schedule for the rest of 2004:
- May 31 - Memorial Day
- July 5 - Independence Day
- September 6 - Labor Day
- November 25-26 - Thanksgiving
- December 24 and 27 - Christmas
- December 31 - New Years Day
Friday we were suppose to have a follow-up meeting with
Wang Xuejun, the Vice-President from GRI. We affectionately
refer to him as Wang III (Wang I Wang Xumu, the Chairman of
the Board of BGP, and Wang II is Wang Tiejun, the President
of BGP). Lee Bell, the new President of GDC, who started
while we were in China, pointed out that two or three Wangs
don't make a (W)right. At 7:10 I received a call on my
cell phone from Wang III saying he would not be able to
meet with us. After an extended discussion we agreed that
I would bring Hugh Frazier, a senior geophysicist at Quantum
Geophysical, GDC's sister company under Geokinetics, and
come to his hotel room to have the discussion. The meetings
expanded into about three hours of meetings. We met a Senior
Consultant for BGP who has lived in the U.S. for 17 years and
lives at Peek Road and Highland Knolls. He told me a couple
of times, `Roice, you have a very, very big opportunity here
with BGP.' Evidently BGP has been talking to several other
geophysical companies. However, GDC is the only company to
have access to the senior management of BGP. Mike and Dave
and Lee were pleased with our report.
At lunch I was reading from `State of the World 2004,' and
found the following passage, which I want to pass on to Sara:
`In many cases, farmers are unaware of or fail to use proper
safety procedures when handling and disposing of chemicals.
In one survey in Benin, West Africa, 45% of cotton farmers
said they use pesticide containers to carry water, while
20-35% used them to hold milk or soup.'
About 4:30 I received an offer letter from GDC, written by
Mike Dunn and signed by Lee Bell. It is a very good offer,
including a reasonable salary, a signing bonus, a very
generous stock option that vests over three years, commission
on sales to China, commission on personal IP (Intellectual
Property) which GDC commercializes, four weeks of vacation
a year, and the title `Vice-President of Interpretation Services.'
Some of the things are less than I had been told, and
there are issues with the wording about IP. There is a six
month non-compete if I leave them. I'm sure we will work
through the questions on Monday and I will become an employee
of GDC, another guy with a regular job, backdated to be
effective on April 1st (which is April Fools Day).
On the way home I was listening to a tape on a book called
`Optimal Thinking.' There were two sets of questions which
I will be thinking about over the next few weeks, and I think
it would be worthwhile for each of you to think about them also:
`Personal Questions:
1. What do I care about most deeply?
2. What and who do I love?
3. What am I deeply committed to?
4. What do I stand for? What are my principles?
5. When am I at my best?
6. What has given me the greatest feelings of importance in
my life? What has been most beneficial for my self esteem?
7. What is it that I definitely don't want?
8. What do I want more than anything else?
9. Which activities do I enjoy the most?
10. In order of priority, what are the three things I value
most in life?
11. In order of priority, what are my three most important
ambitions in life
12. If I had one year to live how would I make the most of it?
13. How would I like to be remembered?
14. If I were given all the money I could ever need or want,
how would I live my life?
15. If I could experience the ultimate day, what would it be like?
16. What would my ultimate environment be like?
17. Which one purpose would I concentrate on if I knew there
was no chance of failure?
18. What is my ultimate purpose? What do I most want to accomplish?
Career Questions to quantify and rank in priority order:
1. What are my strengths? What are my talents and gifts?
What are all the assets I bring to the table?
2. What makes me happy? What brings me joy?
3. What do I love to do?
4. What am I most interested in doing? What is my passion?
5. How do I most enjoy contributing to others?
6. What cause do I most want to serve?
7. What kind of organization am I best suited for?
8. What is my career purpose?'
I stopped by Dick Coon's house for a third time this week on
the way home. He was home. GDC had expressed interest in
marketing his South Texas Prospects. However, after Ken
Butler's due-diligence, they decided there was too much risk
to proceed with this opportunity. We talked through the
different next step options. Dick expressed an interest in
working with me in my new role as Vice President of Interpretation
at GDC, at least to provide some consulting cash flow. This
could prove to be very useful to both of us.
I arrived at the house about 6:30 to see 7 yards of mulch
dumped in the middle of the street in front of our house,
going from the mail box to the driveway, and covering both
lanes of the north flowing traffic on Emerald Green. Before
the sun went down we had moved enough that it only blocked
one lane of north flowing traffic. And by 4:30 PM on
Saturday it was all out of the street. Seven yards is a
lot of mulch. Next time we need to (1) time it so it is
when some of you are here to help, or (2) hire a yard
service. After the last two week's work the yard does
look nice. It is a nice place for The Little Prince to
retreat to and to admire his roses.
I took Matt to work and picked him up from a movie he went
to after work. Between these, Andrea and I went and looked
at some couches and went to the last Know Your Religion
presentation. It was one of the best we have been to. The
speaker works with Randall Wright in Austin, and his topic
was marriage. He pointed out that the four things that most
lead to divorce are:
- Criticism
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Withdrawal
These words sure do hit home. Of course, I can't do anything
about the past, just the future. So he pointed out we need
to do the opposite to have successful marriages:
- Praise and Validation
- Love, Kindness, and Charity
- Accountability
- Engage, Connect, and Intimacy
He pointed out that President Kimball taught to have a good
marriage we must:
- Choose the right person
- Be Unselfish
- Continually court
- Continually live the commandments
And he pointed out the keys to marriage are:
- Marriage is essential, we can not become perfect without our
spouse and we need each other to lift each other up.
- Be nice, and renew our love each day.
- Sacrifice leads to love, for only if we are willing to
sacrifice for something will we love it.
Lastly he said marriage is the toughest contact sport there is,
that serving a mission is preschool, and marriage and family life
is school. Too bad we tend to forget all of the good advice we
hear in our lives during the heat of the moment.
Church was nice today. John (a) and Misty (b) Liu were the
sacrament speakers. I wrote a possible Prime Word's stanza
from each of their talks:
`The temple provides
An eternal perspective
The spirit guides
If we are receptive (b)'
`The temple gives us peace
When friends and family die (b)
A preview of the emotional feast
When we will greet those who now in death lie'
I also solved the problem of figuring out how thick the marble
in back of the chapel is, based on the assumption that the saw
blade that cut the marble is 1/8th inch thick. Alpha is 1/8x,
and Y, the thickenss, is X(2), the measured distance of the
fracture stain * tangent(Alpha). There are good things coming
from all of the formula work on AVO being done at GDC already.
Adam Salt gave up a kidney on Friday for his brother Matthew.
The transplant was successful. The following e-mail was sent
out by Barbara yesterday and I read it today:
`It was a long day at the hospital...most of it spent in the ICU
waiting room, well...waiting. They took Adam into surgery at
8 AM, Matthew at 9:30. Both were moved into "recovery" in the
ICU between 1:30 and 2 PM
The doctors were very positive about the surgery and said both
did well. The kidney looked good and seems at first pass to
be working. We will know more on that tomorrow.
Adam was moved into a regular room about 7 PM tonight but was
still very sleepy, responded in one word replies (like you do
when you are only half awake), nauseous, and in a fair amount
of pain even with a morphine drip.
Matthew will be in ICU all of tonight and tomorrow morning. He
is alert, awake, watching TV and trying to get his bed so he can
sit upright without causing pain. He too is on a morphine drip.
Because they were in ICU we only were able to visit them for 30
minutes every 3-4 hours. (Which we had to split between both
boys) The first visit we mostly watched them sleep.
Thank you for your prayers in their behalf. We are very
grateful for all of your kindness on their behalf.'
And in closing, having caught up on Thoughtlets, but not
Grandkidlets, I hope each of you will take my advice and read
or reread The Little Prince."
I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements
of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how
important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy
it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of
distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets
go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at
rnelson@walden3d.com.
With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)