cc: file, Andrea, Tony Hafen, Sara and Des Penny, & Maxine Shirts
"I loved my Grandpa Hafen.
Grandpa Nelson was killed in a farm accident on the 21st of April 1947, 2 1/2 years before I was born. He was unloading a plow from a truck bed by himself, it hit a power line, and he was electrocuted. Aunt Marie, Uncle Bill Krueger (Beverlee, Darrell, Roice, and Eric's parents) had been married since 16 Aug 1939. Uncle Bud and Aunt Mary had married on 13 June 1945, right after the war. Aunt Clara Jean and Uncle Seth Bills married a few months later on 06 September 1945. The other five were being worked too hard or too young. Uncle Ted and Aunt Vana married less than a year after the accident (27 February 1947), Uncle Dick and Aunt Elaine followed on 25 August 1945, and Dad and Mom tied the knot on 09 October 1948. Without the boss to work the boys, their minds turned to other things. Dad was 33 and Mom was 18. Aunt Luana and Uncle Lloyd Warner married on 09 July 1951 (she was 19), and Aunt Shirley and Uncle Willis Gurr married on 17 September 1954 (she was 20). None of my Dad's brothers nor sisters have been divorced, although they have each faced their own unique trials. Certainly the loss of Grandpa Nelson in a farm accident was one of these most serious trials. I wish I knew `The Boss.' Just based on Darrel Krueger's reverence to Grandpa Nelson, he must have been very special.
However, I did know my Grandpa Hafen. And I loved my Grandpa Hafen. I remember the long drives to St. George on weekends when I was growing up (there was not a freeway and it was not like commuting to Bush Intercontinental Airport). And I remember Grandpa would take me into the bedroom and insist I take a nap with him. I never wanted to take a nap. I always woke up alone. And yet I remember how nice it was to to lay down with and take a nap with Grandpa.
Heather, Audrey, Rachel, and Matt knew their Grandpa Shirts well. He was a surrogate father. Living across the street and always there to provide support and stability. I don't know anything about your other Grandfather.
I wish Roice, Ben, Paul, Melanie, Sara, and Rob would have known the good sides of their Grandpa Nelson and Grandpa Sharp. It was hard to get to know them when we lived so far away. In many ways I was protecting you kids from the emotional scars of my youth, and so not one of you got to take a nap with Grandpa. That really wasn't right for my Dad, because he was such a good, honest, hard working man. He would have loved to take a nap with each of you. Emmit Sharp died younger than he should have, from tobacco and alcohol, and from hurt and anger. I liked him. I'm sure he would have loved each of you to take a nap with Grandpa.
As previously written, after Sara's Graduation at UT Austin (0320.html) we all went to lunch at The Olive Garden. Then Andrea and I took Colby Cade back to our motel room for a nap. As we lay on the bed, with the blinds drawn and enveloped with darkness, my mind went back to our regular family visits to St. George and my taking a nap with Grandpa. My heart was full, and I wanted to be there for each of you and for each of my Grandkids. It was like being overcome with a giant surf wave of emotion. There was a feeling of fulfillment and peace. A fulfillment for all of the effort which has been put in over all of the years, always saying I am working hard to make the world a better place for my children and my grandchildren. There were tears. Tears which Andrea could not see because the lights were out. Tears not shared out of embarrassment, rather tears not shared because it has never felt safe to share emotions. It was a real feeling of joy and fulfillment and I think it naturally comes when a grandchild takes a nap with Grandpa.
Sunday night, May 25th, when I talked to Ben, I decided on the spur of the moment, we should drive to Dallas the next day, Memorial Day, and spend some time with Ben, and Sarah, and Ethan before they left for California. Good thing we did, because you did move to California. It was a wonderful day. We got up early, were in Dallas by about 11:00, and stayed until about 4:00. We talked, played the guitar, ate homemade orange rolls, went to lunch at Applebee's, played with Ethan's toys, and the best part for me was Ethan took a nap with Grandpa. I hope the words I have once again struggled to find and write have painted a little bit of a picture of how it was. In case not, let me emphasize, it was good! Ben, Sarah, and Andrea just laughed when I sang a on-the-spot song to Ethan about how he would not let Grandma in the bedroom. That was fun. Ethan taking a nap with Grandpa was good.
Most of the rest of the week was spent on the India interpretation project. There was data loading, and then interpretation, map making, more data loading, and more interpretation. I have permission to share what I did. It is at http://www.walden3d.com/phoenix. Jude Amaefule was back from Nigeria. He was certain he could beat of the predatory efforts tied to Diamond Bank. There were discussions with Kolla about revisiting the work we did offshore Mozambique. I had a nice meeting with Mike Forrest, who came to talk to me about why his consortium was not interested in letting Phoenix join, specifically because they do not have proven production.
Roice sent a note saying he placed the photos he took of Sara's graduation on his web site at http://www.gravitation3d.com/roice/pictures.
Saturday evening I came home from work early, got a haircut, and watched the TV edited version of `A Few Good Men.' I remember when it came out, Sherry Sump (my secretary in those days) took her daughter to see it, and I was so appalled because it was "R" rated. Now I found myself watching it in the comfort of my home, and I could still lip read objectionable words. I do worry about how lax our society has become towards the base and the degrading. At the same time there are good messages in the edited movie. Choices. I wrote a related Prime Words stanza on Sunday:
I guess my message for this week is you can't be a hypocrite and you won't be doing anything wrong if you take a nap with Grandpa."