06 Oct 2002 #0240.html

Slow Down

. . .

Dear Paul and Kate, Melanie and Jared, Bridget and Justin, Sara, Ben and Sarah, Heather, Audrey, Rachel, and Matt via hardcopy,

cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, and Maxine Shirts

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"One of the songs I remember from my youth goes:

`Slow Down, you move to fast You got to make the morning last Just kicking down the cobble stones Looking for fun and feelin' groovy'


According to a google.com search, these words are by Paul Simon of Simon and Garfunkel fame.

Again, after another trip, I find myself two weeks behind on the Thoughtlets. Looking back it was hard to find a theme for the week. I wrote a couple of thoughtlets. I spent a couple of days at VRMT (Vision Reservoir Manatement Technology International, Inc.) with Dr. Vince O. Eleri teaching him about the seismic process, and introducing the Knowledge Backbone (SM). I spent a day creating and binding a new printout of the old Knowledge Backbone(SM) for Vince to use to document his experience. I watched JAG, Smallville, and Enterprise. I wrestled with Matt. I spent a day typing up all of the writing I did on `An Open Mind' and printing that out so I could work on it when we went to Utah. And in general, after the trip to Nigeria, and all of the activity tied to the Marginal Fields and OML-229, I let myself slow down.

When Andrea, Matt, and I got on the plane to Salt Lake City on Friday afternoon, after Matt got out of school, I fell asleep right away. I guess our bodies know when we have done too much, and we need to listen to them when it is time to slow down.

We got to Salt Lake about 9:00 PM. The rental car Andrea had reserved had a GPS (Global Positioning System) that was fun to play with. We got to Randy and Kathryn's about 10:00, talked for a little while, and went to sleep.

The reason I had paid for Matt's plane fare was so he could spend time with his `real' Dad. (In case you can't tell by the quotes I have a hard time being, by implication, `unreal.') He had called him from the airport and told him he wanted to spend half of the day with his cousins. The bottom line was reaction, and re-reaction, and Matt ended up not seeing nor spending any time with his `real' Dad. Oh well! I gave him the opportunity, and the two of them blew it. I guess there isn't room to point fingers, since I have blown communication opportunities so many times in my own life.

Saturday morning Andrea and I went for a walk up the street next to the Provo Temple, which is a block away from Randy's house. It goes to a trail up to squaw peak up one of the canyons by the `Y.' What a beautiful trail and hike. We walked for about an hour, and it was really nice. I could get into having a trail like that in my back yard. The one thing I noticed was that the creek dumps right onto the road we walked up, and when the day comes there is a really big thunderstrorm up that canyon, it will send a wall of water down which will flood the temple and, it looks to me like it will flood Randy's back yard. Hopefully this is a 200 year flood, and won't happen for another 160 uears. We got back to the house just in time for me to take a shower and to get in to watch the first session of General Conference. Andrea ironed our clothes which had been in our bags.

Matt and I played badmitten after conference, and then Andrea and I helped Randy pick all of the apples on the tree in his back yard. I ate a couple of them. They were really good. We left Matt to wait for his `real' Dad (and to play computer games) after Randy called and left a message on his answering machine, and went over to Paul's house to watch the afternoon sesson of conference with Kate and Grant Matthew. Grant has really grown big, and is a lot of fun. Kate fixed a wonderful meal for us after Conference and when Paul got home from `work' (riding four-wheelers around in the mountains and hitting the truck antenna against a branch and having it snap back and break the truck windshield). It was a wonderful afternoon and evening. It was a real pleasure to go to General Priesthood meeting with Paul, and to meet his Bishop and Stake President and to listen to all of the good things they have to say about how well he is doing. There were a couple of the talks which really hit home to me. I quote from my notes:

`II Timothy sounds like a night of prime time television. We need to do more to fight Satan. We need the greatest generation of missionaries in the history of the church. We need your whole heart and soul. this isn't a time for spiritual weaklings. Begin tonight to be fully worthy. We expect you to be covenant makers and keepers. Don't wait to talk to your father and your Bishop. The time of the unrepentent missionary is past. Limit the amount of time spent playing computer games. Spend time with the scriptures. Father's have a vital role to prepare missionaries. Too many fathers abdicate their responsibilities. There is not a subsitute in the church for Father's teachings and example. Fathers have the right and the responsibility to know the spiritual worthiness of their children. Parents should counsel their children and go with them to see their Bishops. Please assume your rightfull place as advisor, counsellor, and leader.' M. Russell Ballard, Apostle


I have attempted to be the peacemaker, and in so doing, feel I have abdicated my role as head of the family. It is very tough to know when to intervene and when to let folks learn by their own experience. I recall Grandpa Hafen coming into the meat packing plant one day, and grabbing a knife and showing me how I should be cutting the trimmings off of a bone for hamburger meat. Then I recall him telling my Dad, `Why haven't you taught him how to do this?' Dad's answer was `I figure he will learn it better if he learns it himself.' It is easy to second guess choices and to wonder if I have taken that route too often. Do I know as a Father if my children were truly repentant at key milestones in their lives? Or have I abdicated my responsibility? I was really proud of Matt. He went to General Priesthood by himself up to Randy's church, and he took notes so he could show me he attended. Matt didn't like the guy's talk that said to slow down and read the scriptures, and especially when he said it is not a good idea to play so many computer games. Aren't we all like that when we hear things that ring true with us or those we love. For instance:

`Rid yourself of debt. Moral discipline of church members is important. We can not use ignorance as an excuse. The Erotic stuff on the Internet will pull you down. Child abuse is an affront to God.' Gordon B. Hinkley, Prophet


These are all comments which have been said many times before. In past years I was told several times I was abusive. When pursued it was always clarified as mental abuse. It was hard sitting with Paul in Priesthood Meeting and wondering what he was thinking as these words were said. And so, since e-mail is a safer medium than talking for me, I ask the question in general, and wonder if anyone will respond. When I saw Mom, she said, `You know Roice, you probably really don't want to put all of your thoughts out there for all of your extended family to read.' And when we got back to Houston, I was looking in my PAIRS notes for examples of paradoxes, for the book I am writing, and came across the note:

`In my vulnerabilty I find my invulnerability.'


The bottom line picture I'm attempting to paint with words is we can't run from our friends, our past, our parents, our God, and especially from ourselves. Sometimes the only way to realize this is to meditate, think about our lives, and slow down."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

. . .

Copyright © 2002 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.