cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Diane Cluff, and Maxine Shirts
"Obviously I didn't get a thoughtlet off before we left for China. So I'm going to write two tonight, and it is already 8:21 PM in Houston, Texas on Sunday evening the 23rd of June. It is often hard to comprehend how fast time can pass. Two weeks ago was Stake Conference, last Sunday we revisited what I remembered as the Beijing Branch, and here it is the next Sunday evening.
There were some telephone calls and cards I want to start off with acknowledging. The last piece of mail I opened before leaving for China a week ago last Friday was a card from Jared, Melanie, and Colby. On the front is a picture that could be the cabin at Calf Springs Ranch and the words `For a Special Grandpa.' Inside is a sillouette with a stream zig-zagging off into the distance, like the water color paintings I used to make in 9th grade in Mr. Anderson's art class. I found a tear as I read the words:
When we got home from China, the first piece of mail I opened
was from Audrey. On the front it says `You've been just like
a father to me.' The words inside the card were nice, and the
hand written words found another tear. Thanks Audrey! Then
before I started to write this thoughtlet I listened to the
answering machine. There were two messages from Roice, and
one from Sara. I expect the rest of you knew we were in China
last weekend, although you probably didn't realize we visited
the Beijing Branch of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day
Saints. The time I visited before, back in the 1980's, it
wasn't big enough to be a Ward or a Branch, so the members
called it the Beijing Twig.
From Monday through Friday morning, the 17-21st of June, I was super busy getting ready to go to China. As mentioned in the last Thoughtlet I wrote (0223.html), I created a bunch of web pages, which became the basis of my presentations. Riley Skeen in Wyoming and Wei He in New York and others were editing them and giving me suggestions and feedback. Everytime I tap into my NetWork to help with something like this, I become more convinced that this is the business model that will work in the future. I didn't have any of you call and ask for the username and password to these pages, and if you are interested, just remind me next time we talk or you talk to Andrea. It is interesting, looking back, which of the web pages I put together were relevent, and which were not. Oh well! Guess change is inherent in life, and a key is to be able to learn as much as we can from the experiences that come up as we travel along our time-space pathway.
I received the following exciting e-mail from my friend Tracy Stark, who lives in Plano (note I did not include the photo):
Thursday, based on a request earlier in the week, Ken Turner
brought by a giclee print of his painting of John O.
Meusebach signing a peace treaty with the Comanche Indians at
San Saba in 1847. This was the only treaty kept by both the
indians and the Texans in Texas history. He also brought
several prints of Decision at the Alamo and Reflections of
Columbus' Court House and Opera House. These were our main
gifts for the Chinese, and they were very well received.
I only got a couple of hours sleep on Thursday night, and so when we got on the Continental plane to go to LA I was ready to go to sleep. Matt wasn't. He pointed to indentions above the seats and said we were going to be able to watch a movie. I told him to not get his hopes up, and that if anything came out of those places it was probably oxygen masks. It was rotating 12" television screens. For the rest of the trip he was quick to point out I was wrong about the movie to L.A. I don't remember what the movie was, because I did go to sleep.
The security clearance was longer, and I didn't feel much safer as we traveled. I have never obsessed about safety. Rather my approach has been, `I know I will not get out of life alive, and Lord, if it is my time to go, I understand.' This trip I had a lot to think about. I took two books, hoping my example might influence Matt into reading some of the good books in our library. The books were both by Arthur C. Clark: `2010: Odyssey Two;' and `2061: Odyssey Three.' I read them both on the trip. On the second leg of the trip to China I read:
The last time I took a trip to the Far East was about 1994.
Of course, this was my 20th trip to China, and there were
numerous others to Australia, India, Indonesida, Saudi Arabia,
England, France, Norway, Africa, Brazil, Venezuela, Canada,
etc. I missed so much of you kids growing up, I really have
no basis for complaining if our relationships are not very
close. Yet I do not know how to turn off my mind, when I
hear statements like: `Why do you feel like such a failure?'
Or `The church just makes you unhappy.' And these statements
became the center of my meditation when I wasn't reading or
sleeping on the way to China.
I don't feel like a failure, except in my family. Each of the projects I have taken on have proven to be a technical success. There is President McKay's statement that rings in my mind: `No success in life can compensate for failure in the home.' Divorce is the ultimate failure in the home. I seriously doubt divorce is ever the sole responsibility of one person. The logical conclusion is I contributed to failure in my home, and nothing in life can compensate for this failure. I'm sure this type of feeling colors what I write and specifically what you kids see. So I do have a context for statements, like the two above, which were made in a phone conversation a few days before we left for China. However, as written above, neither of these statements are correct. And so I am going to attempt to capture some of my thoughts as we flew across the Pacific.
I have never felt the church makes me unhappy. I truly believe we make ourselves unhappy. Those in the church that are not keeping the commandments are not happy. It is impossible to attend church, listen to scriptures being read, prophets and apostles being quoted, testimonies being shared, to be living a lie and not feel bad. It doesn't matter if the lie is something as simple as coffee or tea or smoking. It doesn't matter if it is something as seriously addictive as drinking alcohol or using drugs or looking at pornography. It doesn't matter if it is as relationship breaking such as sexual activity outside of the marriage covenant (including masturbation, homosexual activity, fornication, virtual sex, or adultery), lieing, sneaking, hiding things, temper tantrums, screaming, mental abuse, physical abuse, etc. What makes us unhappy is not the church, it is our choices. We always have the choice in regards to what we do (unless we have gone so far down the road of addictive behavior that we have given up that choice). Our unhappiness is not caused by the church, anymore than some other person can make us angry. We let ourselves be out of control and be angry. Sometimes we carry choices like anger with us for years, and even generations. My Mom was really angry at her parents, and I learned to be really angry with my parents. Is this the church's issue? Of course not. It is my issue. Can it be perceived that the church makes me unhappy? Probably. Satan is very cleaver, and he is real.
If this misperception exists with those I love, is it my issue? No, other than when it keeps me from having a relationship with one of my children or step-children whom I truly do love. If it becomes my issue, what do I do about it? Write about it, like I'm attempting to do here. Talk about it. Pray about it. Fast for understanding and wisdom and words to melt cold hearts and stiff necks. Strive to teach by example that when we develop a relationship of trust with our Savior, He will take upon himself all of our sins and leave us to live our lives with joy. Remind each of you of the importance of taking the time for regular personal prayer. Remember what I wrote last Thoughtlet about exercise? Repeating two quotes I consider priceless: `When we do small repetitive actions over a period of time we build strength.' And `Righteous acts consistently repeated build spiritual strength.' I could go on, it is already 11:00 PM, and I havn't even started to write about the Beijing Twig. I know now because of the number of things I need to do Monday, I will not attempt to write about the BGP until Tuesday night, a pacemaking statement for those curious about the results of our trip to China (0225.html).
We left the house at 5:45 AM Friday morning. We arrived at Bush Intercontinental Airport at 6:30. We left for L.A. at 7:50 AM, and arrived in L.A. at about 9:20 AM. We took the shuttle to the Air China terminal and left for Beijing about 15 minutes late at 2:05 PM. Matt loved the 747. We had 3 seats next to a window. He took the window seat. Air China does a nice job. It was similar to Singapore Airlines, when I was traveling so much. There were three Chinese movies with subtitles, which I slept through, Die Hard, and 101 Dalmations. We arrived in China at 5:10 PM on Saturday evening. We were met at the the airport by Chai Hong Mei, our translator and guide for most of our trip, and a driver, Mr. Qi in an Audi. Matt liked the Audi. We barely got our bags in the car.
It took us a couple of days to learn that we really suprised them when we arrived. They thought Matt was born in 1999, not that his passport was issued in 1999. They did not know what to do with a 14, almost 15 year old boy. I think this is one of the reasons they paid all of our hotel bills, and put us up in a first class hotel in Beijing each night we were there. The hotel is The International Celebrity Guest Hotel, and it is a long block away from where the 2008 Summer Olympics will be headquartered. We also suprised them because we asked to go to church on Sunday morning. Andrea had called the International Mission and found out where and when the meetings were. We thought it would be good for Matt to see the church is the same in China as in Katy, even if it was only a twig and not yet a branch. Little did we know what was in store for us!
Of course, the Chinese surprised us also. They handed me a revised agenda, which said I would not meet with the President of the BGP until Tuesday. We attempted to meet with someone else, and this was not possible. Things need to move along the lines they want. So we checked in, and worked through the issue of 1 room or 2 rooms, and whether we wanted a 3rd bed in the room (we ended up with 1 room and 2 beds). Then Chai left us, and the three of us went for a walk to explore the shops across the street. Nice shops. I was only starting to realize that this whole section of Beijing had not even exisited when I last visited in 1994. There was a baby walking around with the bottom of his trousers cut out, like they do for all babies being potty trained. Matt just absorbed everything. We were a little bit hungry and so we went into a resturant that looked nice. It was, and the menu was all Chinese and there were no pictures. You should have seen us looking at what other folks were having and pointing to different things. We ended up eating jouze, which is a type of dumpling. It was good, and Matt liked it. We drank coke-a-cola, because the water isn't safe, we couldn't communicate any other drink except coffee or tea, neither of which were of interest to us.
Then we went to our hotel room and fell asleep. I woke up at 5:30 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. I had had a dream about the rug factory in Zhuo Zhou and the tree of life rug they made there. I dreamed about a rug with a big tree of life on it. The main trunk was labeled Andrea and Roice. There were two large branches cut off at the base of the tree labeled Marti and Rick. The tree had 10 branches, and each branch was labeled with one of you kid's names. The roots included Sharp, Llewellyn, Nelson, Hafen, Shirts, and Nielson genealogy. I imagined creating a market for fine silk rugs for extended Mormon families based on this prototype rug. I imagined bringing this up in the obligatory toast to the President of BGP at the banquet on Tuesday night. I even wrote a stanza for Prime Words, which I wrote down the next morning:
When I shared the stanza on Wednesday morning (0225.html)
I removed the words `carpets and' because the Zhuo Zhou
Carpet Factory is no longer in business. Since I couldn't
get back to sleep, I got up and did my exercises in the
bathroom, shaved, took a long bath, trimmed my nails, cut
my cuticle back, and then went out and turned a light on
and read from `2010: Odyssey Two.' About 7:30 Andrea and
Matt were ready and we went downstairs for breakfast. The
breakfast was a buffet, and we all ate too much. It was all
good. Maybe next week when I send my weight status out I
will include my approximate listing of all of the swallows.
It was really hard to be accurate on this trip, and so I
expect this week to have the largest errors of any week
since starting this exercise in weight loss.
Chai was downstairs at exactly 8:15 AM as we had agreed. We were at the place the Beijing Twig met by 8:45 AM. Church did not start until 9:30 AM. She came upstairs with us, asked a few questions about what we did, and left. I found her very insightful: `So this gives you a place to meet similar people, you have a built in community any place you go.' And as she left, I found myself moving chairs and helping to set up the Primary Room. This was my first big suprise. When I attended the Beijing Twig before, there were 20 folks in somebody's living room in the U.S. Department of Agriculture Building. I remember wondering how many times President Benson's work as Secretary of Agriculture had resulted in the ability for the church to have a place to meet when a Branch was just starting out as a twig. I could see the hand of the Lord working across time and space, looking at a much bigger picture than any of us look at. The suprise this time could be summarized by saying the church was renting a large hall on the 4th floor of a 30 story office building, and there were about 200 chairs being set up for sacrament meeting. This was not a twig anymore, it was more a ward.
The next suprise was the sacrament meeting program. It was a missionary farewell, and the Branch President's son was going to serve a mission in Taiwan. When Landmark sent the first proposed contract to CNOOC (China National Offshore Oil Corporation), the salesman made a mistake. He was simultaneouly sending a contract to the Taiwan National Oil Company and he put the wrong contract in the wrong envelope. Landmark never sold to CNOOC while I still worked there. I was flabbergasted with the program. What a spiritual feast. Definitely a talented young man. He has set up a business to sell Palm Pilot Software during his first year at BYU. He is worried about how well it will do while he is away for 2 years. Interesting how we each have different trials in our lives, isn't it?
Sunday School was very good. They are farther along in the lesson manual than we are. They have already finished Psalms and Proverbs, and we don't have Psalms for three more weeks (I am substituting in Gospel Doctrine for Marion Pickerd for the next three weeks, see 0228.html). He talked about Knowledge (facts, experience, stuff in our head) becoming Understanding (having context) becoming Wisdom (the ancient meaning of which was living God's laws righteously). He pointed out how the phrase `under the sun' in the Psalms means seeing things from a worldly state-of-mind, and how Vanity is something that does not last, or is transitory. And he gave an excellent lecture on Pride, and how Pride is at the basest level competitive. This last subject was a beautiful answer to my meditation on the plane on the way over. He said, `Divorce is Pride manifest. Arguments are Pride manifest.' And I recalled the words of John Mouton in the early days of Landmark Graphics: `Roice, does your church teach Pride is a sin?' There is no question about my contribution to my divorce, and this is as clear an answer as to why there is no question as will ever be found. Hopefully I am not as proud as I have been in the past.
Priesthood Meeting was the next suprise. The topic was the next topic in the Harold B. Lee Manual. It was about temple worship. I could hardly believe I was sitting in downtown Beijing, The People's Republic of China, and listening to a lesson about temple worship, after having listened to a missionary farewell. I was blown away when the Branch President reminded everyone to see him after meetings to get a recommend to attend the Nauvoo Temple Dedication on the 27th of June (0226.html). Later I learned that this was for those who are going home to Provo for summer vacation, which it turns out was a large portion of the Branch. In fact, they have a Chinese District Conference in Provo in August, and they announced the time and location while we were there. All in all the Beijing Twig has certainly put on some growth over the last decade, and even though it is not yet a Ward, it is certainly a mature Branch. And I can really no longer validly refer to it as the Beijing Twig."