cc: file, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner. Diane Cluff, Andrea Nielson, and Heather and Nate Pace
"In regards to `the flood' I wrote about last week (.../9912.html), it rained 6 1/2 inches in 45 minutes centered on the Continuum Office at Westheimer and Wilcrest. For reference, this is half of the annual rainfall in Southern Utah. It hasn't been very many years ago that a tornado went through our ward and exploded the house of HyperMedia's Chief Financial Officer. Neither Don Estes, nor his daughter, who were home and watched it come up the road were hurt as they hid in the front hall closet. There have been three Hurricanes go across Houston since we moved here in January of 1980. Do you kids remember the first one, and how I was outside in the wind and rain nailing plywood over the windows? Just thinking about the facts there are fire ants (which kill animals the size of a cow), snakes, weeds with thorns, and the label `Houston is the murder capital of the nation' on the front page of the Dallas Morning News makes me wonder why I was not afraid to move here in 1980. Roice, do you remember the time when you lifted the garage door at 1307 Emerald Green and there was a 5 foot copperhead snake that fell at your feet?. Ohhhhh, sometimes nature is worse than Halloween. Andrea, do you know what you are getting into?
It seems like I was really swamped this week at work. All of the oil companies in Houston with Immersive Environments have turned me down as far as participating on the GCSEG Symposium tour on April 16th. It looks like it will be down to the minute as far as Continuum Resources being moved into the new office and ready to demonstrate as part of the tour. There is no room for a hickup, or we will end up looking very bad, and this is our first real public presentation. On Monday we had an organizing committee meeting, and it would have been very easy to say `I'm afraid to go forward, we need to cut our losses and reschedule this Symposium for later in the year.' However, I didn't, and since then we actually got an unexpected call from Baylor College of Medicine, and will have a nice medical example on our tour of Immersive Environments in Houston. Wheeoo!
Tuesday morning started with an 8:00 meeting of the Kitchen Kabinet about making Dr. Loftin's work at the University of Houston the regional center of Immersive Environments for the Gulf Coast. The meeting was at POSC, and they are afraid their money is drying up because of the state of the oil industry. There has been continuued progress on the TLC^2 (Texas Learning Computation Center) at UH, where the state puts up a third of the money, priviate foundations put up a third, and the federal government provides the last third. It would be easy to sit back and not pursue the $50 million funding program we have been working on for Dr. Loftin's Virtual Environments Research Institute (VERI), which superseeds the VETL. It is easy to be afraid of proceeding with the plans we have been laying. Back at the office there were meetings about prioritizing geoscience technology projects, and about what the four of us attending the AAPG on the 11th-14th of April are going to be doing. Sometimes, when I stop and reflect on all of the potential worst case consequences to follow all of the stuff going on, it is easy to be afraid.
Wednesday one of my good friends who is still at Landmark came over to see me. I hired him and he worked for me for several years. We have lunch a couple of times a year, and he always tells me what a hard boss I was, and how much I expected from him. This time was different. His boss was fired, and a month later, last Friday, his new boss finally met with him and said he had two weeks to find another position within Landmark. He was angry, felt used, and was afraid of what will happen if he looses his job. It was nice to help him stop and reflect and see this change as an opportunity. Interesting how I can say that to others, and it has been so hard to accept it myself. Earlier on Wednesday morning, one of the three top executives at Landmark called and asked if he could come over and learn what we are doing. Some of those reporting to him were becoming afraid of the potential impact we can have on Landmark's business. It was interesting to talk about our Switzerland strategy, and to see his positive reaction to our plans. He evidently calmed down the fears of those reporting to him, based on a phone call about the GCSEG Symposium tour I had later in the day.
Thursday we finally had a review of the infinite grid prototype two of the guys have been working on for me. It turned into a complete disaster. The work was good, and the results where phenominal. And one of my partners was afraid. Afraid I am telling Roger Anderson Continuum secret projects. Afraid I am not staying close enough to the development team. Afraid he is going to look bad, if we don't make cash flow projections and have to lay off a bunch of people. Afraid Mr Finstad will be upset with his use of the investment money. Afraid the first Board of Director's meeting this next week will not go well. And when it comes right down to it, there are probably a bunch of personal things relating to his childhood he is afraid of and has never resolved. Anyway I received the brunt of his fear in the form of sideways and not so sideways attacks. At the close of the meeting, I strongly pointed out how inappropriate the comments were, and we then had a good one-on-one discussion about what was really going on. I continue to be amazed about how wonderful the things I learned at PAIRS are. I just wished I would have learned them early enough to have not subjected you kids to any of my fears. Also, it is interesting how often I relearn Blaine Taylor's four stages of team building:
Friday we had a review of the Board Meeting presentations. It is really exciting to see Continuum becoming a real business. There are certainly plenty of reasons to be afraid. Yet, my mind quickly passes from fear to the scriptural promise `if ye are prepared ye shall not fear':
Friday evening I went to see the sneak preview of `First Kiss.' It was sold out, and since I had sat my mind on seeing a movie and eating some `free' popcorn I went to the only other non-`R-Rated' movie playing: Ed TV. I must admit it is funny. Lot's of sexual satire, which is not my thing, and some really true statements about everybody's family. I've been talking to Andrea up to a hour or two almost every night, and as I drove home I discussed the movie with her. Last night she told me how had she worked all day Saturday to get her yard cleaned up for when you kids visit next week. It is always interesting what we are afraid people use to judge us by. I really don't think any of you kids will even notice her yard. However, I've certainly felt that way about my yard, as you kids all know. In fact I do now with all of the dead lawn in the front yard. As I reflect on it, it seems kind of a shallow basis for judgement. Paul had gone to Austin for the day to go to a dinner and dance with Kinsey, and I forgot what he told me he was doing. About 4:00 on Saturday afternoon, I was afraid he had been kidnapped and was being held for ransom. Then when I was talking to Andrea about 6:00 I remembered he was in Austin at the LDSSA Sorority Party.
I spent a couple of hours earlier on Saturday listening to and talking to (whistling to) a Red Cardinal in the back yard, and as a result of that I also started to whistle the song of the Southern Utah Meadow Lark. I ended up writing a song, based on the notes the Meadow Larks sang as I irrigated the farm as a youth. The song is named `Howard Nelson' based on something Dad said to me about a year before his death:
This morning was Stake Priesthood Meeting at 7:00 AM. What a wonderful meeting. Doug Hasting's gave the talk of his life, and he always gives good talks. Shortly after I got home, Paul and Kinsey showed up from Austin. `Hi back' Melanie. Glad you are doing good. I bought steaks for Paul, Sara, Rob, me, and one other person (who didn't show up). Paul was going to go to lunch with someone else. Paul, it was fun to watch you work through your fears about getting everything done, making everyone happy, and modifying your plans to eat with us this afternoon, in addition to deciding to not leave for Utah until Tuesday morning. I know there are times when we will all be afraid. We just can't do everything and often have to choose between two good things. Maybe this is why I still don't have the images from DisneyLand posted at http://www.walden3d.com/photos/disneyland. I hope you each know that as long as I am alive, and probably even after I'm dead, I will be available to listen to your fears and to give you what advise I can from the lessons of my life. Here's to hoping, for each one of us, that our fears are always minimal."