Deals

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Dear Paul, Melanie, Rob, Roice, and Ben,

cc: file, Diane Cluff, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Sara and Des Penny, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, Claude and Katherine Warner, and Lloyd and Luana Warner.

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"Last Sunday, when I called my Mom, she said `I love you.' Despite my weekly calls, semi-regular letters, and a lot of trips Utah to visit her since the stroke in 1983 (many of which we couldn't afford), I have worked through a lot of anger relative to my Mom, have said really nasty things to her over the years, and she has had good reasons to seldom, if ever, say those words to me. During the call I mentioned we were having meetings with potential investors for Walden Visualization Systems on Wednesday morning. Mom asked how much money we were trying to raise. When I told her $15 million she said `Well that should be enough!' Then when we finished talking and I said `I love you,' she repeated it back to me. Usually it is just like tonight, `OK, Good Bye.' I wondered if it was just the fact I mentioned a lot of money? Despite the cynicism of my thoughts, I cried as I hung up the phone.

I have been thinking all week about what you kids must think of me. I fear you will have the same feelings towards me I have had towards my Mom. I fear you will just see my attempts to have you keep curfew, or keep the commandments, and not the love behind my efforts. It is a fact, I keep up this weekly effort because I am striving to help you resolve any issues holding you back earlier in your lives than I did. It is also a fact I know the devistating effect of divorce, even on those children who have left home, and I want you to know life goes on. It is important to talk about your feelings, and I hope my openness and efforts will make this easier for you, when you are ready. I recognize I have been a stickler about the commandments, and today in Sunday School, Brent Weber, the teacher, quoted the Savior where he said to `a certian ruler' who asked what to do in order to inherit eternal life':

I want you kids to know I will love you whether or not you choose to keep these commandments, cerfew, or other family and social rules. Even if you broke a combination of these basic rules of our society, like be a party to an abortion, I will still love you. I fear you don't know how much I love you. I am afraid you will have the uncertianty and sarcasm I expressed above about my Mom's expression of love. Although these uncertianties create a motivation to prove oneself acceptable, it ends up creating a much harder road of life than is necessary. I hope by pouring out my heart in these Thoughtlets it gets you thinking about your motivations, about what you want to do in your life and in preparation for life after death, and that what you choose makes you happy now and will bring you optimal joy in the eternities.

As I look back at this week, it seems to be the week of making deals. It is fun to make a deal, and it is suprising how few of them ever amount to anything. I remember Grandma Hafen talking about Uncle Glenn's deals and telling me `He needs to be a bigshot.' I have wondered if I have the same motivation as I go about my professional life. Anyway, I thought I would make a list of deals I am working on, and let you think about which one of the deals would make you happy if you were in my shoes, and why.

1. Several months ago I agreed to a deal to help Roger Anderson at Lamont find a programmer for a finder's fee of $15,000. In addition, Roger agreed to pay Argie Rhuman $10,000 to build an map based description of how NRMI technologies fit physical geologic parameters. The deals with Lamont also include providing training on 4-D software by Bill Resley.
2. A month ago I agreed to pay Angus Jamiason the first $15,000 for some software optimizing directional drilling planning over February, March, and April. This week he sold the prototype version of related software to AIOC for $60,000, of which WVS will earn a $6,000 commission. The initial images displayed in Virtual Reality look very nice.
3. A few weeks ago I signed an agreement with MuSE technologies committing to sell $100,000 of their software this quarter, and next quarter, and $4,000,000 over the next three years, of which WVS earns a reasonable royalty in exchange for be a VAR (Value Added Reseller) of their software.
4. I finally signed the agreement with The University of Houston, giving us the right to distribute VR-Viz, the VETL developed Virtual Reality Software. We committed to paying $25,000 within six months of executing the agreement, or upon funding of WVS, and to pay the University $50,000 in software royalties the first calendar year, $100,000 the second, and $200,000 the third.
5. We demonstrated Terra Nova's software and talked about a deal to represent this JAVA mapping system front-end to a data base through WVS.
6. We are discussing deals with Robertson Research and Energy Innovations to place ROOMS (sm) [Reservoir Object Oriented Management System, about $2,000,000] and/or ROOF (sm) [ROOMS (sm) Open Office Facility, about $5,000,000] in London, Aberdeen, Caracus, Cairo, and / or Perth.
7. We gave presentations to PGS Data Management showing how Virtual Reality and the Knowledge Backbone could be used by their company. We have $65,000 in potential work orders and the possiblity of several million dollars in business over the next few years.
8. SeisStrat Services, Inc., Davis Crude, Inc., and WVS Corp. signed a non-circumvent agreement, which deal says if Bob Davis and WVS help raise a $25 million drilling fund for Magness Petroleum, we will each take one-third of a $300,000 commission and each get a 1% override on Fault Block One of the Willmington Field, which has 100 million barrels of proven in place oil. This deal is worth $15 million.
9. I drove up to Texas A&M and met with one of my friends, Professor Joel Watkins. He is sufficiently interested in what WVS and NRMI are doing he gave me a tape with maps he normally sells for $75,000 on. Our deal is that if WVS or NRMI ever sells any of the maps we will get a reasonable royalty, say $25,000 to A&M.
10. John Amason, Ron Burgerner, Gary Crouse, Rhonda, and I gave an outstanding demonstration and discussion at the VETL on Wednesday morning where the deal was asking for $15 million in funding WVS in exchange for 70% of the company stock.

As interesting as these deals are, it was an e-mail from Ben that touched me most deeply this week. He sent me the following on Wednesday:

Although I had read this story before, having it come from Ben deeply touched my emotions. I cried again, and not because I was sad.

The deals are interesting. The upside and the downside of the various things I am working on is exciting. As you can see some of the deals have the potential to make a lot of money. Does this bring happiness? Some of the deals have the potential to make the world a better place. Does this bring joy? Some of the deals have the potential to create fame. Is this the basis of the pride before the fall? Some of the deals can be personally fullfilling. Is the risk worth the effort? Let me be more specific:

1. Friday evening when I got home and went in my office Rhonda, my assistant, had written on the white board: `We got a signed columbia contract and Purchase Order for $29,000.'
2. There was an invoice for the second $5,000 payment to Tech 21, neither of which there is enough money to pay.
3. The company I had scheduled to visit MuSE postponed, and there is less than a month to make the first sales committments, and we don't have our money in place to make the $100,000 order ourselves.
4. The VETL can not afford for WVS to keep giving demonstrations and to keep interrupting on-going research. Therefore we have to start paying $500 per hour to use the ROOMS (sm) there.
5. We can not afford to put any resources behind packaging Terra Nova's software until funding comes through.
6. No one wants to buy the first of these centers, and progress depends on getting funding and demonstating results.
7. The PGS management did not like one of the presentations and I have to go into their offices in the morning and see if I can save the deal.
8. There is another group out raising the money, and it is a horse race to see who will get the money committed first.
9. After talking to Joel, I went to see Dr. Tony Gangi. He punched my gut and said I need to loose some weight. He retired 4 years ago, and his wife died 9 years ago. It was good to see him, and especially to have him explain some of the research he has been working on. I worry as to whether I will be able to get any money back to A&M for the maps.
10. Of the six investors we talked to on Wednesday, 4 are interested. Even though any one of them could write the $15 million check, they tend to want to spread their risk around. And yes, once again I am breaking my rules and working with friends and church members: John and Ron. When I called for Ron and Linda Burgerner answered the phone I asked her what she thought about Ron's interest in being the WVS Chief Financial Officer. She said it is very exciting and they have both prayed about it and both feel good about it. I said, `Even though I am a failure?' She responded `Roice, don't ever say that to me! You are not a failure and I love you.' I found myself crying, yet again.

To me, fullfillment in life is not the deals, it always comes back to keeping the commandments. An important component is to always tell the truth. It was fun to hear Grandma Hafen talk to me about her reaction to what I wrote about her in my Thoughtlet on the movie Titanic tonight. She has had the biggest kick calling her friends and seeing if they agreed with my words about how she is like the Grandmother in the movie. I realize I harp on keeping the commandments a lot, and I know you each realize I practice what I preach. I thought the older of you kids might enjoy a New Age version - `Thou shalt' instead of `Thou shalt not' - of the commandments I came across recently:

To this I add:

And:

It brings out my fears, Rob when you don't come to sacrament meeting and don't come and talk to me in Priesthood opening exercises. It is hard for me that Sara doesn't choose to spend much time with me, and isn't interested in these Thoughtlets at this time. Melanie, I worry when you tell me you go to church each Sunday, and don't come to church on the weekend you visit Houston. Paul, I see a Finnish train crash in the paper and know you went to Finland to get a visa and worry about you. Ben and Sara, when you expressed interest in attending Pairs, and then were not able make the orientation and didn't say anything when we had lunch on Friday, it pushes my buttons. I recognize this is my problem. Roice when you miss sending an e-mail one week, please know I worry about you. However, as Aunt Luana said to me via e-mail this last week: `Surely your children will and do realize that above all else, they matter. That is the message I get.' I love you each much more than any of the deals! In a real sense the deals are a distraction from the emotional pain I still feel. However, I am getting better and am very optimistic about my and your futures.

Sometimes, no usually, I don't put my fears and regrets in proper perspective. I hope I did better tonight. I'm sorry this Thoughtlet is so long. I'm just trying to tell each one of you how much I love you in a way you will someday, and hopefully today, be able to hear. Maybe one of you will even share a tear with me, even if temporily separated by time and space. Maybe someday I will have enough self-confidence I don't need to be told I am loved."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. If you ever want to download any of these thoughtlets, they are posted at http://www.walden3d.com/hrnmen or you can e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

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Copyright © 1998 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.