cc: file, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Des and Sara Penny, and Lloyd and Luana Warner.
"As you can see from the header, the number of addresses receiving copies of these Thoughtlet went from 17 to 7. I can be very philosophical and say: (1) they can always look on the web if they are interested in following any of the stuff I write; (2) maybe my experiences are just irrelevant to where other people are at; or (3) everybody's really busy and this kind of stuff doesn't fit into time availability. However, I prefer to do as the leader of our PAIRS class always did and say, `Oh well!' Hopefully for those of you who are interested in following the exploits and mental maturations of a farm-boy geophysicist, there will be some on-going benefits. Thoughtlets did not turn into the two-way communication medium I anticipated. However, I do believe there will be sufficient value over time for at least some of those I love to justify continuing the effort. I put together a 1 inch three-ring binder of the last year's words for Melanie, and realized how fast a regular supply of words accumulate.
Since I wrote so much last week, I will be brief this week. I will base my words around one of the nicest compliments anyone has ever given me. It came from Paul in his last letter, were he wrote: `Thanks for the letters Dad. Your (sic) the most (CTOUKU) steadfast person I think I know. It helps.' [Rob, the (sic) means I am quoting improper English and know it. Paul should have written `You're' instead of `Your'.] I know Paul is at a stage, particularly as he starts on his first full winter in Siberia, where a mission can be pretty hard. Especially tracting big apartment buildings and talking to 500-600 people per week. This was kind of hidden in the humor of his last letter, where he says: `Did you hear the Prophet is going to visit our branch in Tomsk? I didn't hear that either so it probably is never going to happen. But if it did that would be neat.' One of the many things one learns on a mission is to endure, or to use Paul's word, to be steadfast.
I looked up steadfast in the dictionary. Webster says steadfast is
I guess I really don't feel steadfast. Rather I feel like the stump in one of Abraham Lincoln's stories. He was asked what he was going to do about Brigham Young and the Mormons (remember the Republican party was formed to `rid the world of the twin evils of slavery and pologamy,' and Abraham Lincoln was the first successful Republican Presidential Candidate). His response was to the effect, `When I was farming and there was a big stump in the middle of the field, we would just plow around it. Brigham is one of those stumps we just need to plow around him for the time being.' Of course, Brigham Young saw the stump from a different point of view. He was just the representative of the real stump. He saw the stump as Christ, and knew it was still alive and once the leaves broke forth could create shade in the summer and actually was the tree of life which would bare and share the fruit of eternal life. Paul, the consistent letters are simply my way to attempt to show how strongly I know the gospel is true. One of the first responses I got to Thoughtlets was that they were not personal enough and some of the kids will probably resent them. I recognized the words were true when I read them a year ago, and I certianly recognize so now. However, I feel it is better to have tried and failed than not to have tried. And there has been enough positive feedback from this effort over the last year that I intend to keep it up for those who are interested. For those who are not, I will attempt to find other ways of reaching out.
I've been reading the Doctrine & Covenants and discovered the following this week: `... he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven. Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. ...' (D&C 58:2-4) One of the things I have come to internalize this last year is how significant my blessings are. Blessings of health, blessings of a reasonably good mind, blessings of friends, blessings of work I enjoy and which benefits others, blessings of experiences, material blessings, blessings of a testimony, blessings of membership in the church, blessings of opportunities for service, and most importantly the blessings of six wonderful kids, each of whom I deeply and dearly love. Hopefully I am learning to put aside some of my pride, to recognize some of my many weaknesses, and specifically to acknowledge my dependance on Heavenly Father and Jesus. Hopefully I am or can become a stump you kids can tie your horses to, and one which will grow to provide you shade in the summer and the fruit of the tree of life. Hopefully these Thoughtlets will prove to be the life of this stump.
Rob also gave me a wonderful compliment. He wrote:
Then Melanie and two of her friends came and visited me last night. I had cut my backlog of e-mail messages to be trashed, filed, or responded to from 258 to 96 about the time she visited. As we sat in the library and talked one of her friends said, `Yea, I noticed how nice and clean the house looks.' I guess I am getting old and sentimental. However little things like Rob's note and a few words of praise is what makes it possible to be as steadfast as I am able to be. As I write these words, the other side of the same coin is I recognize I have not been good at doing what I appreciate. I am striving to be better, specifically to see the postive and to answer with a soft voice. I hope I am or can become a sufficiently steadfast example to influence all of my children, and not just the three of you who responded to last week's Thoughtlet."