Fix-It.

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Dear Roice, Ben, Paul, Melanie, Sara, and Rob,

cc: file, Mom, Sara and Des, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Diane Cluff, Tony Hafen, Claude and Katherine Warner, Forest and Amy Warner, Ivan and Chell Warner, and Eric and Renee Miner

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"We have received two letters from Novosibirsk, Russia since my last Thoughtlet. A few choice quotes from Paul: `We get about 1,000,000 a month to spend so I am set for life. Oh wait thats rubles, darn! It's about $180-200 (it fluxuates).' `People here are very little. We rent from some lady (Russian) so all the furnature (sic) is Russian. I am about 10" too long for my bed but she said we could take the base board of so my feet can hang off. Elder Main has the same problem, he is about my size.' `I hope you appreciate everything that the Promise (sic) Land (America) has. I will give you a short list. Toilet paper that is not like notebook paper, eggs without poop on them, water that is all filtered, shower curtains, individual houses, pooper scoopers, hot water all the time, washing machines, I could go on forever but I won't.' `We taught dance classes.' [This I would have liked to have seen!] `Mainly a square dance I had to teach for a Pioneer Pinic (sic) on the 22 here. Where the Russian members are going to write down their testimonies and send them to the Prophet. Cool huh?' `It usually snows, then melts in the afternoon, then snows again. It is like Forrest Gump. I have seen it snow sideways, snow from straight above. Big snow and small snow and even snow coming up from the ground. It gets really slick with all the streets completely ice. I fall usually once a day but never more yet. That's one of my goals.' `All I can say about the language is that when the Lord decided to confuse them he did a great job. It is hard but going good. Everything is just so fast.' `An Elder Nelson just transferred out of the area so I am ... (Elder Nelson the 2nd). It is really weird.' `My branch (Novosibirsk) is semi inactive but I will fix that.' `My branch has 35 active members and 70-80 total. We will fix that though.' `I am always smiling which is hard cause nobody smiles in Russia but that's O.K. I'll fix that too!'

Then yesterday's letter included: `Everywhere we go, buses, menyao (subways) people are always looking at our name tags and we have a lot of opportunities to talk to them. (I like to talk :))' `Anyway as you can tell my English is starting to get worse. I try to teach english class and mispell (sic) the dumbest words.' `Activity at church jumped up 20 people this week. We got home visiting kicking :)!!! All but one of the families were visited this week. That's a lot. Anyway I am really trying to be the best missionary I can.' All this makes a Dad and a Mom very proud. No prouder than of Roice's scholastic honors, Ben's fiancee, Melanie's cheerleading, Sara's dance, and Rob's happy smiling face (when he has it on). The difference is Paul is a long ways away and he writes letters. He is all guy, out to fix-it, whatever it is. Reminds me of me.

I wrote him how great it is to read about his enthusiasm, but to remember there are some things we can not fix. For instance, today your Aunt Sara and I decided it is time to put our Mom in a nursing home. I could go into all kinds of thinking and reasoning and discussions. The bottom line is this is the logical consequence of choices your Grandma has made. It probably should have been done years ago. If I ever get in a state where I will not make the effort to take care of myself and you all decide to put me in a rest home, I hope one of you will read this paragraph to me. Remind me of the feelings I feel this Easter weekend as I am forced by circumstances and other's choices to rely more and more on our Savior and simply to trust God knows what is best. It is hard for a fix-it guy to sit back and trust everything will work out in an appropriate way over time. But in my heart, when I take the time to stop trying to fix other peoples' choices, I know this is true.

I got a wonderful e-mail from Todd Staheli this morning. He asked about Roice, Ben, and Paul, the three he worked with in scouts before he moved to London. A few lines from his e-mail which I feel can benefit all:

>Along that line may I suggest that "fault" is a concept which proves >very slippery, as does your feeling responsible for what is happening. >I am finding that blame is a completely unproductive exercise; I do >not know what is gained by determining who is at fault (assuming that >determination can accurately be made). People make choices and >undertake actions, each of which have consequenses, intended and >unintended, known and unknown. Not only is linking actions and choices >with consequenses difficult for us mere mortals (I'll explain what I >think here), I believe that the only productive exercise is to simply >learn from the past as best we can and move forward (not necessarily >in that order). >Determining cause and effect when people are involved is extrordinarily >difficult (quantum physics teaches this is also true even in what we >call the physical world). Our world is nothing more than a network of >relationships - actions, thoughts and experiences interacting with each >other. Lacking knowledge, all we can do is to speculate in this area. >Further, I believe this is an area of life God reserved for himself. >"Judge not unrighteously that ye be not judged" is as practical a >commandment as it is a religious one. Further, I believe it doesn't >say "Judge not others unrighteously . . ." for a reason. (This is not >to suggest that sometimes preliminary judgments should not be made. >They are necessary to make life, government and commerce work. They >are also necessary in the church. But they are all imperfect and are >all preliminary until that great and final judgment. Accordingly, I >believe they should be afforded little weight.)

In an attempt to learn from the past, on Easter Sunday, I thought back to the annual picnic our family had with Grandpa and Grandma Hafen when I was growing up. These picnics were some of my earliest memories. I can almost see Glenn and Tony hiding and rehiding the brightly colored Easter Eggs Grandma Hafen made. I remember looking at those Easter Eggs for hours wondering how they were colored. Grandma Hafen would wrap the eggs in leaves and tie string around them and then boil them. They were the prettiest browns and reds and dark greens and yellows. So I tried that this morning. I picked some little yellow flowers in the back yard, some leaves and flowers off some bushes, got some yellow paper that looked like it had a lot of dye in it, and wrapped a half a dozen eggs and boiled them. There were some interesting flower patterns on some of the eggs, but frankly they looked more like the eggs Paul described than Grandma Hafen's Easter eggs. Oh well, I'll do better next year."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. If you ever want to download any of these thoughtlets, they are posted at http://www.walden3d.com/hrnmen or you can e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 1997 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.