This is from January 7, 2003 (sic)

White, present! It starts with the children. Sitting in the dirt playing, shirtless, wearing only underwear. They watch as I approach; waiting for the right moment. Just before I pass them, with all the excitement they can bulster, they scurry to their feet, jumping up and down, screaming, Oyebo, cadeau! Ca va bien? Merci! (white, present! how are you? thanks!) It's kinda cute. Kinda. They're happy and excited and I gave them something to do for a couple of minutes rather than sit around and stare at each other. Sometimes I go and greet them in Tchabe (local language). They either giggle endlessly or stop and stare, not knowing what to do. Then there are others who start crying because they are so scared of me and never truly expected me to stop and talk to them. I've actually had to separate myself from a group or mothers have had to leave my sight because their children were wailing so loud. These kids had never seen a white person and were truly that afraid of me. So anyway, the asking white people for presents is very evident in the children.

Then there are the women. They say the exact same thing, but skip the tune to accompany the demands. It's really odd. It's like they never left junior high or got over the making fun of the smart kid or the ugly kid in class.

Moving away from the song, there are the same demands, but only as comments dropped in a conversation. If I travel, I'm always asked what I brought back as a gift. If someone likes my clothes or my hair, they ask for it. I've promised probably ten people that I'll shave my head and give them my hair. There are certain people are sure to ask for money or motion that they are hungry in order to ask for food. An example is my neighbor who is a guardian and is very well fed. He just always likes asking for stuff. (I want to note here that there aren't beggars like in the states. If someone's hungry, someone else will feed him/her. They just kindof show up at people's houses at mealtime and end up being fed.)

Practically as blunt as the children are the businessmen. The computer stores I've talked to (where they will do small Microsoft tasks or photocopies) ask for computers. Mechanics ask for equipment. Others ask for credit. My meeting with the mayor seemed to be going well. An hour into it, we had talked all about development goals in Save and my position in the town and how I could be a resource. Then it slightly turned into asking me to find funding to computerize the office. I explained my purpose for being here was not for funding but rather for entrepreneurial know-how. Then the meeting-turned-wrong abruptly fell of a cliff. He spent the next hour telling me that if I did anything in Save for the two years, it should be to find a large American company to set up shop in Benin. If I spent it working with small businesses, I would be wasting my time. And he would not let go of the subject.

So there you are. Oyebo, cadeau! The theme of my life here. Real translation: Hey whitey, what are you going to give me?

My neighbors swear that it comes from a history of Europeans entering Africa and passing out little gifts to the children. That makes no sense to me at all. In my opinion, it splits in two. There's the arena where it's a cultural norm for Beninoise to give and receive gifts. So far, I've been given tissue to make clothes, a pineapple, a chicken, oranges, Sodabe (liquid fire of a liquor that I gave to my neighbors), free outfit at the tailor, lots of bananas, t-shirt, always food, drinks, etc. It's not so bizarre for someone to comment on a dress saying she likes it and that person actually giving it away.

Then there's the arena where outside help has become expected. Maybe it's a communist/socialist background where the government was responsible for taking care of the population, and so they're looking to anyone else to hand over what they need. But overshadowing that fact is the flood of exterior funding. All the cadeaux (presents) coming in from Europe and the States The World Bank, USAID, AfricaCare, countless American and Canadian and Belgium and other European organizations that all put their efforts into helping out in the development of Africa. It's not even a transition from initial funding to starting businesses and then moving on. All the funding goes to aid organizations here that could never survive without exterior help. Right now, as the US economy is struggling, so are all the Beninoise organizations because that's where the money comes from. (Peace Corps funding has been drastically cut as well.) With this dependency on outside money, of course a mindset has been engrained that They have, we need. And as such, the circle continues.

So here, people think I'm just walking around looking to dish out investments for anyone that can breath. I think my counter initiative is going to be to not give out a cent, but search for more successful and creative ways to make businesses work using Beninoise resources. We'll see how well that works.

If anyone has books, articles, random information on how to make projects work without money, I'd love to read!!

So a little about life~ I'm settled into my house where I had quite a large mold problem, but it's been solved. My neighbors are wonderful. They know every move I make and talk about everybody and everything. So aside from avoiding constant gossip, we share music collections (send dance music and country music and current stuff on the radio via cassettes if you can!!), cook together, and talk a lot. Cooking is such a production here that I save cooking for the weekends and then bust out with one big meal where I make enough for all my neighbors and we hang out outside and eat on mats. Last time was fun making cakes and cookies and I tested out how to make an oven for bread, cakes, etc. without actually having one.

Tchabe is coming slowly. Everything about the language is completely different from Latin derived languages. The structure is simple, where verbs aren't even conjugated. But pronunciation is a killer. There are five tones, way too many vowels, some nasal sounds, and a lot of emphasizing certain parts of words.

I've given up trying to play the Kora (a west african harp-like instrument.) It's actually played more in Mali. I've decided that if it isn't an empty plastic bottle as a drum, no one plays instruments here. Maybe I can pick up the drums it'll definitely help with the tempo for the harp where I'm lacking anyway for when I get home. Mom, could you send my metronome?

I've started a business club at the high school, so our first meeting is coming up on Saturday. And I'm starting to work with a Girls Club where we'll work with computers mixed in with having fun, girley activities and conversations. It's to be a confidant, encouragement with continuing education, and adding useful skills as well. I've met a lot of business owners who are stuck in a rut, others with really great ideas. It'll take some time to get to know more and talk about their needs and where I'll come into play. It's kindof like being a consultant for a ton of really small businesses. I'll probably be grouping them together and in the near future, doing classes on accounting, marketing and business plans, etc., depending on where they stand in their business.

So there's a little from my side of the world. I miss you all and hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. Love y'all, Sara